Horst in Translation (filmreviews@web.de) "Cannibal Diner" is a German German-language movie from 2012. The writer and director of this one are pretty experienced when it comes to gore/horror movies, so the directions this film is taking should be obvious. You may be a bit confused early on as there are randomly two girls starting to make out and we also see boobs, pretty big ones actually, so is this a soft core porn movie? No it is not. It is all about the scare factor, but sadly this one is never convincing at all. The film is neither entertaining nor scary and the ending actually feels like a very weak copycat version of "Silence of the Lambs". The only thing you will see in here is girls panicking, running around screaming and they made sure these girls do not wear too much while doing so. The cannibals look like aborted creatures from Avatar and the makeup work is just as bad as everything else. And right when you think it could not get any worse, then the main girl character is suddenly out of nowhere strong enough to stand up to the bad guys, of course after performing a striptease for whatever reasons. This film is packed with sexual innuendo, but lacks a convincing story completely unfortunately. The characters are ridiculous and they have no background story, no shades, but hey at least they have big breasts. Yeah, it's totally impossible to take this movie seriously, even for fans of the genre. It is a hot mess. Watch something else instead.

TheLittleSongbird There are worse movies out there than Cannibal Diner and there are a few things that keep it from being worse than it actually was. Cannibal Diner does start off promisingly with some atmosphere and tension, the music has an urgent and haunting vibe to it and the gore is thankfully not too cheap and not used too excessively. The camera work/editing and directing though were often frantic and abrupt and when they do slow down they manage to take slow to extremes. The movie is too darkly lit in places and while the settings have a nice Gothic look you couldn't properly enjoy it because of the state of the lighting and the way it was shot and edited. Cannibal Diner felt very underwritten with the dialogue sounding so awkward it was not easy to take seriously or understand what point was trying to be made. The story apart from the opening has no atmosphere, thrills or tension and just felt very pedestrian and overly-silly, with scenes that went on for far too long and didn't serve anything to the story. The antagonists, not looking terrible but also not mind-blowing either(true of most of the effects here actually), have little personality and no real menace, which made the conflict and threat really unconvincing. There's no better news about the acting, the actors look good and sexy but their acting is another matter, too often being stilted and repetitive. The chemistry is not convincing either with them sometimes being in their own world and not much else. All in all, could have been much worse but a lame movie in most but not all respects. 3/10 Bethany Cox

kosmasp Seriously! Just bad! On every level! The best thing about this, is the poster! Subsequently also the DVD cover using that poster image of course (or maybe it was the other way around). There are some beautiful women in this (and one or two of them do show some skin), but this does not elevate the viewing experience.Actually there is a scene towards the end of the movie, that is almost completely dark, which is almost kind of good. It does create some atmosphere. But too little too late! The effects are OK and maybe the only thing that might make the viewing experience not a complete disaster. It's a shame, because the filmmaker is such a nice guy. And it's good that he tries to do genre cinema in Germany ... but he has some work to do!

Corpus_Vile A bunch of nubile German chicks head off to an abandoned diner before discovering that it's really home to a den of cannibals. One by one they are picked off in tame cutaway ways until the one that's left runs around a lot while whimpering. You ever see a film with a pretty cool cover which makes you think it might at least have some nice gore and be a passable entertaining time filler? Only then you put it on and it's absolutely dire and generic and totally devoid of any tension, suspense or fun? Yeah. Cannibal Diner is one of those films. Basically, it's a generic badly directed mess and most unforgivably of all, it's really boring. The director is apparently under the bizarre delusion that jumpy flashy cut off editing and long scenes of a chick stumbling around to intense urgent music equates to tension. It doesn't.I don't want to sound too harsh here because I never expected much to begin with, and sucker as I am for all things cannibal related in horror, my standards tend to be fairly low in this regard. All I ask for is some nice gore and some perky nudity. Now while there is admittedly some perky nudity here, it's still an utterly abysmal film, that failed to even meet my low requirements, and I gotta say, I'm actually amazed that films like this even get financed. I firmly believe that for all its flaws, indie or low budget horror is actually the lifeblood of the genre, in terms of quality, but just like big budgeted and decidedly bland remakes, indie horror unfortunately throws some turkeys our way also and Cannibal Diner is a film to be avoided, as it's one of those films where your finger is itching to press the fast forward button 30 minutes in and even at 66 minutes (6 minutes are end credits) it still outstays its welcome. 2/10 a really bad and boring horror film and far too tame. Avoid.