Wuchak
Released in 2005 and directed by John Shepphird, "Chupacabra Terror" chronicles events on a cruise ship when a cryptozoologist (Giancarlo Esposito) sneaks a chupacabra on board. It doesn't take long for it to be unleashed from its cage and a squad of commandos comes aboard. John Rhys-Davies plays the Captain and Chelan Simmons his tae-bo instructor daughter. Dylan Neal appears as a marshal while David Millbern is on hand as a venal charmer who milks the rich (Paula Shaw).The monster is a guy in a suit rather than CGI and it looks effectively terrifying, albeit too tall for a creature that's supposedly the size of a small bear. Freckled-blond Chelan is cute as ever, but not enough is done with her. The film generally fumbles the ball on the female front. The ship sets are fine, and the movie may even have been shot on an actual vessel, but the long shots of the ship are cartoony CGI, and it's too obvious. There's a lot of action as the crew & militarists try to take down the chupacabra, but the creature is SO invulnerable it's unbelievable. In its favor, the tone is austere and the likable cast takes the material seriously. There's quite a bit of gore.I can handle any of the negatives cited above, except for prosaic writing. And that's the problem with this movie: A by-the-numbers script with no meat on the bones. The flick's thoroughly banal and it kills it. Kids might like it though. The movie runs 88 minutes and was shot in Turks and Caicos Islands. The script was written by Steve Jankowski & the director. GRADE: C-
BakuryuuTyranno
The good parts, er, actually John Rhys-Davis playing the captain is pretty much all. Rhys-Davis is playing the only character whose fate remains in the "might or might not survive" category. We're lucky then that the best actor present plays the character.Unfortunately, everything else goes downhill surprisingly quickly. Aside from the captain and bland leads, the characters are a pompous old woman, some professional thief, and a cryptozoologist unwilling to provide help stopping the chupacabra; occasionally even helping it escape and thus kill more victims.Naturally these people were too unlikable for their deaths to be upsetting and there's no sense rooting for this chupacabra to get them since it's inevitable.The monster being released by the crew members didn't make too much sense. Actually it didn't make any.Several gun-wielding guys appear throughout the film; first crew members and later navy SEALS. They lack established personality meaning they serve no purpose but to add to the body count.
danegeld2
In case you're wondering the buffoonish Loren C*****n of (Cryptozoology Inafame) is a living idiot and any information he's provided is to be tossed out with the trash. The guy simply is a news paper clipper.As for the story line it was was a predictable train wreck, the actors were mechanical, the lighting was awful, and the props/clothing was cheap.Bobcat Goldwait should have starred over the clowns in this film. I was physically ill after seeing ten minutes of it.There are insane/retarded monkeys still in charge of films I see.Dan
julian kennedy
Chupacabra Terror: 2/10: It was the Navy Seal team that tipped the balance from bad cheesy movie to just bad. Up till then there was a lot of bad movie baggage but the Seals
They are wearing bicycle helmets painted black. You know the ones with air holes that make every adult who wears them look like a complete tool. Of course the bass fishing boat they took to greet the cruise ship might have been another clue (it wouldn't make it across Tampa Bay let alone an ocean)
and their tactics wouldn't pass muster on an 3rd rate XBOX game.Does director John Shepphird have photos of John Rhys-Davies in a compromising position with a Hobbit? Because I can't think of any other reason he would be in this movie. The other actors have a great excuse. They are talentless unattractive hacks that couldn't get hired for an infomercial. The plot is that two men try to smuggle the mythical Chupacabra (Love saying that name) aboard a cruise ship and it gets loose.The sets consist of horrible cruise ship fakery (complete with airshafts the size of a small apartment), the monster killings are bottom of the barrel, there is no nudity, and a lot of really bad actors refuse to finish their death scenes. Of particular annoyance is a gigolo character from a 60's Doris Day movie.The cast bleeds ketchup while the Chupacabra bleeds day green glow in the dark blood. (Why a goat eating Mexican mammal would bleed anything but red is beyond me.)Every B movie has a tipping point that makes it a fun time (Hey it's a lesbian shower scene, OMG that guy just ate is own eyeballs) or not so fun (Did they just call those forty something overweight guys wearing coveralls and bicycle helmets Navy Seals?) Chupacabra falls into the not so fun B movie side with a thud.
AD
