Woodyanders
1998. World War III has reduced the planet into a dangerous wasteland complete with acid rain. Five army deserters seek refuge in an abandoned laboratory complex. Naturally, the place turns out to be the stalking grounds for both lethal mutated rats and a huge'n'savage subhuman beast. Man, does this wonderfully wretched junk possess all the right stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: The ham-fisted (non)direction by David DeCouteau (who also co-wrote the dire and hopelessly derivative script with Buford Hauser), the lousy acting, the tacky gore (one guy pukes what looks like motor oil in a mess hall scene that's directly lifted from ALIEN), the endless shots of folks running up and down corridors, the glaring lapses in logic (a post-nuke world which still has functioning computers and showers with clean water in it!), and a seriously lame "it ain't over yet!" final freeze frame all provide a wealth of unintentional belly laughs. Moreover, the cut-rate (far from) special effects are a complete cheesy riot: The hilariously hokey and unconvincing over-sized stuffed rats, some poor schmoe in an obvious rubbery monster suit, and a hysterically pathetic mutant puppet baby are all sidesplitting sorry sights to behold. Richard L. Hawkins as inept squad leader Jake makes for a laughably wimpy and ineffectual would-be hero. As a yummy plus, the ever-luscious Linnea Quigley once again bares her beautifully bountiful breasts and takes a steamy shower. Thomas L. Calloway's dingy cinematography and Guy Moon's redundantly bouncy score are both perfectly putrid. A real cruddy hoot and a half.
Claudio Carvalho
In 1990, during the World War III, five deserters of the army escape to an abandoned research facility, supplied with water and provisions. They decide to temporarily lodge in the place, and find that scientists were researching amino acids to reduce the need of food. But sooner they find that the place is inhabited by fierce and giant rats, a monster and a mutant baby. They are attacked and fight to survive.The most difficult summary that I have written in IMDb is this one, since "Creepzoids" does not have a reasonable story. I first believed that Creepozoid was the monster, but then I realized that there is only one, and the title is plural. So I deduced that Creepozoids are the giant rats, but I am not sure. Ed Wood is probably shaking in his grave with the competition of the awful David DeCoteau. The cast is terrible, but fortunately it seems that Richard L. Hawkins (the worst) quit the career. He could be successful in running, since the cast was very well-trained spending the whole movie running in a corridor. The best scene of the movie is the sexy Linnea Quigley showering; the rest is absolutely forgettable. My vote is two.Title (Brazil): "Creepozoids"
lordzedd-3
First, I don't recall them saying how much time has past since the nuclear war. Second, after the nukes fly that would be it, no more. Everyone knows that a nuclear war will start and end in a matter of minutes. There would be per longed battles or front lines to desert from. So the idea of deserters from the front line of a nuclear war doesn't make any kind of sense no matter how you slice it. I mean, even "The Day After" got that right. Next, the atmosphere was like nothing, we saw no devastated buildings, no destroyed cites, not even stock-footage of a nuclear bomb test. So we nothing of the world they lived in. What was the point of creating an animal that don't need to eat, how will that help mankind even if they got the bloody thing to work? So, what was the point? All of this and to make matters even worse the characters were as likable and as interesting as dried unbuttered toast. I don't blame the cast, they did the best they could with what they had, I put the blame on this on the director and the writer which happen to be the same creep David DeCoteau. Do some freakin' research next time, jerk. I give this train wreck of a movie THE NOOSE!
epeteet
This is the same old story of a 80's horror flick that is nowhere as cool as it's super rad cover. Although this lame ALIEN rip off pretty much sucks it does have a couple redeeming qualities such as Linnea Quigley naked. The first death is also really cool too and involves black slime and a mutating hand. Other than that the rest of the deaths, monsters, and creature effects are pretty much whack. If you're the type that loves to clown on movies that are ridiculously crappy then you're in for lots of laughs and fun. if you're just fiendin for lots of gore and rad creature effects you'll for the most part be disappointed; but if you can handle sitting through lame movies just to catch a couple really cool scenes then it's worth a shot. if that's the case also give MINDKILLER a watch. Otherwise just watch RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD for some awesome Linnea Quigley nudity.
AD
