reedkoenig I am the daughter of Bill and Welda Koenig. I have been with my wife for almost 13 years and we have 2 beautiful children. Until very recently, I had an ongoing (though awkward) relationship with my parents. They had accepted my children as their grandchildren, and visitations mostly centered around the kids. I have never been blind to my parents' views, that they consider my relationship an abomination, and my wife and I have come very close many times to cutting off ties with them. When my son was born in 2005, they seemed to come around, and our conversations became more civil. Then the Proposition 8 debacle came up. I had a very bad cold the Monday before the vote. I had very little voice, but I talked to my mother on the phone. I spent 20 minutes pleading with her to abstain from a Yes vote. I didn't expect she would ever vote No, but I could live with an abstention. She refused. I have lived under their threats of "consequences" my whole life, and now the tables had turned. My sadness came at my mother's unwillingness to give an inch, even though her vote wouldn't have change the outcome. At that moment, her love for me seemed petty and conditional. I realized that her decisions have never been made for my family's best interests, neither our legal nor financial well-being. So I was going to do what she would never do for me: protect my children, vigorously, from any and all threats to their well-being. As everyone knows, a documentary only tells part of the story. The story goes on. Thanks to Arthur for giving voice to average people like me who've decided to live honestly. We continue to thrive despite the voices telling us to stay hidden, and in the end, we will win.

jzappa Yet another terribly upsetting chronicle of Christianity's war on homosexuality, this subtle, micro-budget documentary gives an interlocking picture of three families where gay relatives are rejected, or made to feel that "reparative therapy" is the one way their families will acknowledge them again. Though we are always entirely conscious of his presence behind the camera, gay documentarian Arthur Dong, who apparently suffered a gay bashing years before making this film, shoots both planes of the issue with soft charity and sensitivity.Somehow, what Dong does is very clever, because seeing both sides unprovoked by biased filmmakers gives an even plainer, noninflected view of them, and it is so much more maddening. The professed Christian parents are all so fanatical and narcissistic that they are weak to any hint of change in their minds, fearing change to the degree that they would rather sever their connections with their children, who need them to love them more than they need anyone else to love them, than honestly probe their beliefs and interpretations of anything. That we see their gay children, who are so clearly happier and wiser, talk to them by any means demonstrates a degree of patience and tolerance utterly unearned by their parents, who, much to the irony of being such devout Christians, could not begin to understand that kind of patience or tolerance. One wonders how these people came to learn such strength and character, for it certainly was not from their parents.That the men and women victimized and wounded by these self-unaware dinosaurs of archaic convention have nurtured themselves to live constructive lives and to find some amount of individual happiness at all despite such tyranny, cruelty and unadulterated bigotry divulges a tome in itself. This is the heartfelt importance of Dong's stomach-turningly sad piece. At the end of the day, one would think the true form of God as He is commonly interpreted would consider that young and vulnerable outsiders not be obliged to endure such torment and suffering.This movie does not outright defy anyone to amend their viewpoint, but it does deeply urge everyone to appreciate one another more, and to doubt and to love, all in an hour and fifteen minutes.

brunodutch The real problem with this film is that the so-called Christians are all so self-obsessed and vain, so full of the cruelty born of ignorance that it's very difficult not to hurl bricks at the screen. The Mormon has it worst. But in my experience Mormons persecute their gay children more venomously than any other denomination. In the case of the 'support group' run by the 'Spatula Ministries' (I'm not making that up) that the children of these half-wits talk to them at all displays a level of tolerance wholly undeserved. As for Brian and his mentor Bob Dornen... I can't for the life of me think why he would have wasted five minutes of his life on such a pig. His speech on the floor of the house is one of the more repulsive displays I've ever witnessed. Though he manages to be quite oblivious of his racism he revels in his homophobia. That the men and women persecuted by these fools have raised themselves to live useful lives and to find some measure of personal happiness in the face of such oppression speaks volumes. This is the real value of the film. I lost most of my family when I came out and have had no contact with my father for years. If I had to do it over I might well get this film and let them see it in the hopes that they would see their own behavior in the actions of these self-righteous bigots. In time let's hope young men and women won't have to go through such torture.

Thomas Mayer This documentary depicts three families where gay members are shunned, or made to feel that "reparative therapy" is the only way they will once again be accepted by their families. Arthur Dong, director of "Coming Out Under Fire" and "Licensed to Kill", films both sides of this issue with quiet grace and subtlety.