thesar-2 Help me develop a drinking game for this movie! Here are the categories:• Hilariously bad dialogue/dubbing. • Number of kidnapped women. • Number of men in women's wigs. • Full-on men in drag. • Out of frame shots. • ADR. • Movie exposition. • Henchmen out of nowhere. • Silly Sound Effects. • Teleportation. • Mention of the Golden Toy-thing. • Bowing before said Golden Toy-thing. • Jackie Chan "humor fighting." • Garfield opening/closing his eyes. • Shocked Ninja faces. • Ninjas covering/exposing their faces. • Theft of American Movie Scores. • Summersaulting. • Men on the phone. • Attack of the crabs. • Busted car roofs. • Threatening toy robots. • The Ring VHS viewings. • Shots of women's hairy armpits. • Plausible plot points.Okay, granted, that last one is for the AA members. No real sense of reviewing this "movie." It was just an excuse for men to exercise, sell a few tickets to recoup the $5 budget and become another How Did This Get Made? podcast victim. I fell for it. And maybe you'll get a few laughs out of it, like I did.After all, it's described as The Room filled with ninjas.***Final thoughts: I still don't know if this was intentionally hilarious or not. The tonal shifts don't help. But, at least it's sidesplittingly over-the-top, mercifully short and thankfully free with an Amazon®Prime™ membership. Whew! Hiiii-yaaaah!

yaffleridesagain A cheap looking idol that splits into three parts grants the bearer immunity to rubber swords of all kinds. But only if he holds all three parts! Actually, it works with just the one bit as demonstrated by one of the mustachioed ninjas midway through the movie which, at a stroke as lethal as any ninjas blade, completely kills the meager plot logic the film has managed to piece together by this point. At first it looks as though the entire film is just going to be people beating each other up in a mall garden but the plot does start to develop towards something like a story later on.Meanwhile, Jaguar Wong wanders around getting involved with kidnappings and his scheming former lover. Everywhere he goes groups of three or four men attack him feebly providing intermittent filler for the already vague plot.All this sounds quite reasonable and par for the course but there are some decidedly strange additions. The ninja master uses a cheerful garfield phone for example, the mid-level henchman wears a woman's wig without explanation and the bad guy delivers his messages via cheap kids robot toys that someone must have had to walk right up to the door and place, rendering them less in the ninja style of stealth than say slipping the note under the door.I got a few laughs out of this movie, it's bad but in a good way. My favourite bit was the way the ninja master was able to completely hide his ninja double wife from his wife whose biggest worry in life is the crabs she's steaming for dinner escaping. Even stopping one escaping by hurling a shuriken across the room doesn't seem to arouse her suspicions!

Nick Selwood Watched this again last night just to remind myself what a great director like Godfrey Ho can do.Ninja Terminator is unbelievable from start to finish. Notice the clever, abstract almost Lynchian touches where he seems to be showing us a different film from the one we are watching. See the amazing lifelike crabs in Richard Harrison's kitchen - not steamed crabs but drunken crabs...Now I ask you, what other film has got drunken (or steamed) crabs? Hmmm??? None! Thats right...and that shows why Godfrey Ho is ahead of the pack.The acting, as usual, is superb. The sheer presence of Richard Harrison carries the film as usual with a Godfrey Ho epic but the Jaguar Wong character also engages with his non-stop smiling persona and seemingly limitless energy as he beats up assailant after assailant with no problem at all.For more evidence of the greatness of Godfrey Ho and Richard Harrison look no further than their masterpiece, Ninja Squad, which I will review at a later date. Ninja Squad is perhaps an even better showcase of Godfrey Ho's talent and genius.

Bigschlong Quite simply, Godfrey Ho spent all the film budget on crack, and proceeded to smoke it all while making this film. But I'm glad he did. The combination of off-screen action (due to a doped-up cameraman) and dialogue quite obviously written by a schizophrenic means that this film is a must-see. Not only will you be blown away by the dazzling special effects - at one point the blokes are throwing squash balls/powerful explosives at each other - but the costume department really raises the bar for film makers everywhere with the camouflage onesie. If you aren't aroused by Jaguar Wong's little sniggers, the many moments where certain characters look like they just jizzed in their pants, or by the scary forest growing in the armpits of Lily - then you just aren't smoking on that pipe hard enough. Watch it.