ralphflannigan-02882
It's amazing that Kelly Brook's character can actually be more dislikeable as the film goes on. You can create a drinking game every time you hear her British accent come out. Billy Zane seems to revel in the role, but I think it's because he gets to spend the shoot on an island and he doesn't have to shave his head.Juan Pablo Di Pace plays a good hornball.
hall895
After a voodoo-inspired disaster at sea three survivors wash up on a deserted island. The three survivors are unfortunately played by Kelly Brook, Billy Zane and Juan Pablo Di Pace. Unfortunate because none of the three can act. Of course Brook wasn't hired because someone was under the impression she was her generation's Katharine Hepburn. She's just here to fill out a bikini which she does admirably. Sadly the script does in fact call for her to speak and every time she does the movie suffers terribly. Remarkably though, hers is not the worst acting performance in this hideous movie. That dubious distinction goes to Zane who is laughably atrocious. For a guy who once had some semblance of a legitimate acting career this is quite a nadir. The third wheel, Di Pace, is for good reason an anonymous nobody. He has no talent whatsoever, his horrible delivery of dialogue at least provides some chuckles. Our trio of terrible performers play a trio of terrible characters. Brook and Zane play a spoiled rich couple. She's an airhead bimbo, he's an insufferable jerk. Di Pace plays a guy who works on a boat bringing insufferable rich jerks beer. He is rather insufferable himself and, sadly for him, never learned that you don't hit women who know voodoo. You don't sympathize with any of the three characters, you certainly don't root for any of them. Forget hoping they get off the island, you just wish they'd die so the movie could be over. It's only 90 minutes long but it seems absolutely interminable. There are only two things even remotely worthwhile about the movie, both of which are located directly beneath Brook's neck. Lousy story, lousy acting, some of the worst dialogue ever written. No intrigue whatsoever. Which of the two jerks on the island will the bimbo end up with? Who cares? All attempts to build drama and tension fail miserably. This is a clear candidate for any list of the worst movies ever made.
Neil Welch
Three is a glorious piece of trash cinema.There are two strong arguments in favour of it, and they both belong to Kelly Brook. Washed up on a very small but highly photogenic desert island with nothing but a yellow cardie, a chiffon scarf, and a tiny white bikini (which she sheds at the drop of a hat, not that hats are very much in evidence), she is wholly dependent on Spanish boat boy Juan Pablo Di Pace for survival. Then, after a couple of days her rich husband Billy Zane washes up, assumes the two of them have been at it like rabbits and bingo! We have an eternal triangle.Actually, that's not so bad as a concept. Where Three falls down is in the execution, for what then transpires is the most lurid of melodramas, based on the improbable supposition that Zane's character, faced with survival on the most marginal of terms, will prove to be so insecure, paranoid, and downright delusional, that he will monomaniacally devote critical resources towards the destruction of his imagined rival. OK, so this situation isn't arrived at in a single leap, but that is basically what goes wrong.Zane, of course, never someone to knowingly underperform, chews the attractive scenery (literally as far as the coconuts are concerned) with relish. Brook overflows from the bikini very nicely which seems to be the sole reason the two men lock horns, because it's surely not for her thoughtful problem-solving approach to their predicament: she brings all the depth of a very shallow puddle to the character. Only Di Pace emerges with dignity, giving us a credible boatboy who finds himself in a situation which is completely beyond his control. And I don't mean the shipwreck.On the other hand, the movie is one of those which is so bad as to be fairly entertaining!
bh_tafe3
Every now and then a small group of actors get together and make an inoffensive, sex filled location film which is really just an excuse for them to have a bit of a holiday and run around in swimsuits. And so in tradition of the Big Bounce, After the Sunset and Into the Blue, comes Three, a paper thin thriller with some completely gratuitous sex scenes and a nonsensical plot.On the plus side, we get 90 minutes making a very compelling case for Kelly Brook winning a high profile poll recently regarding the greatest bikini bodies of all time, and she is truly a sight to behold. The location certainly looks nice, though it is rather hard to believe we are on a deserted remote island.The performances are all what you'd expect, with Zane easily stealing the film from his rather wooden co stars. Brook is no worse than a thousand other actresses you've seen on screen, and while most of the thriller scenes are rather silly, Manuel's fate does pack a punch.The weakness of the story is that we are never really given much of a reason to side with Jennifer. We see her having wild sex with Jack while tied up in the opening 15 minutes, even sounding open to the idea of a threesome and as the movie develops we can't help but think that Jennifer is the exact type of woman who'd go rolling around in the sand on a deserted island with a hot Spaniard, making her husband's paranoia perfectly understandable.But in the end Three does exactly what it says on the label, and will probably help Kelly Brook top best bikini body polls for years to come.
AD
