Leofwine_draca The second horror film from Chinese director Tsui Hark (after 1979's BUTTERFLY MURDERS) is a crazed, madcap variation on the old Texas CHAIN SAW MASSACRE theme, with a gang of insane masked cannibals wielding meat cleavers making life difficult for our hero, the oddly-named 999. 999 is a kung fu fighting hero (is there no other?) who is searching for the equally bizarrely-monikored Rolex (just who chose the names in this movie?), a missing criminal who has vanished into a remote island off the coast of China. What follows is like one live-screen cartoon as 999 and his various friends repeatedly fight off attacks from dozens of hungry cannibals, who themselves are starved of food due to the rule of their nasty leader, the power-mad Eddy Ko (from John Woo's HEROES SHED NO TEARS).This bizarre, one-of-a-kind movie has plenty of diverse ingredients to recommend it. Unusually for what is primarily an action movie, there is plenty of characterisation and throwaway lines for both the good guys and the villains, and the acting is of a strong standard throughout with plenty of amusing performances. Hark mixes plenty of well-choreographed martial arts into the film's formula, as 999 fends off a dozen cleavers and battles it out with the leader of the village. The film has a distinctive visual style, with the emphasis on the bizarre and unnatural, and plenty of music is ripped off SUSPIRIA which makes for a weird experience. Not only are there a gang of gargoyle-like baddies on the loose, but there's also a sex-mad transvestite and twisted, contorted appearances a plenty. The film is fairly violent but with the emphasis on the humour in the violent scenes, with bubbling stews of human entrails and limbs being torn off. But in the end the wild mix of humour, horror, and kung fu comedy is what makes this concoction work.

Woodyanders Secret agent 999 (a solid and likable performance by Norman Chu) gets sent to a remote Chinese island to arrest thief Rolex. Things go horribly awry when said island turns out to be almost entirely populated by crazed bloodthirsty cannibals. Director Hark Tsui, who also co-wrote the loopy script with Roy Szeto, keeps the entertainingly off-the-wall story moving along at a breathless brisk clip, milks plenty of laughs from the amusingly twisted sense of spot-on silly and sidesplitting black humor, maintains a cheerfully deranged tone throughout, delivers a plethora of over-the-top violent and gory carnage, and stages the copious exciting and energetic martial arts fights with rip-roaring brio. The villages are a colorful assortment of complete kooks, with a homely and lecherous lady giant rating as the most delightfully daffy of the berserk bunch. Kwok Choi Hon easily steals the whole screwy show with his winningly wacky portrayal of a wily and elusive pickpocket while the lovely Mo-lin Cheung makes a favorable impression as the sweet Lin. The familiar music cues from Goblin's score for "Suspiria" further add to this picture's considerable infectiously insane appeal. Hung-Chuen Lau's vibrant widescreen cinematography boasts plenty of crazy camera angles. A seriously nutty riot.

christopher-underwood I know this film has it's fans and is possible I was just not in the mood, but I don't think so. A great start with fast and gory action that includes all manner of weapons two deaths and a guy cut in half with a saw whilst he is strapped to a table. All within the first five minutes. There is also a gory and well shot ending, but in between…fighting….slapstick comedy…oh and a 'cool' guy with a hat and a cigarette. I am never very good with Chinese humour, just a little broad for me and the endless below par kung-fu fighting…aagh! It looks OK, in fact it looks as if quite a lot was spent on it and there is a very large cast, but oh dear, no not for me.

Joseph P. Ulibas We're Going to Eat You (1980) is a horror-action-comedy from the legendary film maker Tsui Hark. After debuting with his equally bizarre BUTTERFLY MURDERS, Mr. Tsui returns with this homage to the Italian Zombie films and kung-fu flicks of the seventies. Filled with blood, gore and sound clips from the Italian Prog-Rock band Goblin, this movie is a must see for any survival horror film fans. This one was also heavily influenced by the films of Ruggero Deodato, Umberto Lenzi and Tobe Hopper. Not your ordinary kung-fu film!Several people have disappeared on a remote island near Hong Kong. The people of this island are all insane and crave the taste of human flesh. They feed on unsuspecting visitors and escaping fugitives. One day a government agent named 999 (Norman Tsui) is in the area looking for a long time federal fugitive named Rolex (Melvin Wong). After being robbed by a fellow traveler and left to die in a trap, Agent 999 comes across the mad residents of the island's city. No one wants to co-operate. So after beating up a few locals, the chief of police (Eddy Ko) grants him an audience and points him in the direction of a nearby slaughterhouse. Foolishly, he heads off to the house and nearly winds up on the residents' plate.Despite all of the evidence presented to him and meeting the fugitive Rolex, he refuses to believe that the islanders are cannibals. The chief is fed up with Agent 999's snooping and decides to get rid of him. The runaway thief is also hiding out in town and he witnesses' first hand the barbaric cannibalism and tries to warn the police chief. He winds up being chased by the police who are in cahoots with the cannibals. Desperate to escape the pot, the thief uses the chimney technique to flee the hungry cops. He even uses a cat as a weapon. But all to no avail, the thief is captured and thrown in a cell waiting to be eaten.Rolex is sick of the cannibals and tries to help Agent 999. The chief suspect's Rolex's treachery and kills him dead. Still in denial, Agent 999 skins off Rolex's tattoo and leaves the village. He doesn't get far and is captured. In despair and praying for help from anyone, Agent 999 is about to be sliced and diced before the thief (who escaped earlier thanks to a friendly local) frees Agent 999 and helps the kid and the agent kill the captors and look for the kid's sister. Agent 999 has no luck because he's captured again. The chief is taking no chances and wants to slice him up in public. Before he can, the thief and the kid fight off the cannibals using a couple of pairs of roller skates and a case of firecrackers.The desperate trio rescue the girl and leave for the beach. They find a hidden raft and take it to safety. A crazed lone cannibal jumps on the raft and attacks the three dudes. Agent 999 goes psycho and kills the man with his bare hands. Saitified, the agent swims out the rescue the thief and the kid. When they return, they scream in horror as the sister has ripped the dead man's heart out and holds it out for all to see. She's very hungry.A pretty down beat ending for a crazy movie. This was made during Tsui Hark's "dark period". He made three depressing films BUTTERFLY MURDERS, WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU and the very rare DON"T PLAY WITH FIRE. Filled with a lot of gore, toilet humor and some wild stunts and fight scenes.Highly recommended.