Woodyanders Down on his luck night shift paramedic Jack's (an excellent and engaging performance by Jason Mewes) heretofore miserable lot in life seems to perk up after he meets and falls for lovely and mysterious young lady Danika (a fine and appealing portrayal by insanely foxy brunette Erica Cox). The only problem is that Danika turns out to be a deadly and insatiable vampire. Director Harv Glazer, working from a quirky and witty script by Tyler Levine and Tim McGregor, relates the engrossing oddball story at a steady pace, milks the hysterically funny sense of cheerfully rude'n'raunchy humor for plenty of belly laughs, maintains a likably offbeat tongue-in-cheek tone, and delivers several sidesplitting moments of inspired pitch-black comedy. Moreover, Glazer also wrings some pathos out of the doomed central toxic romance and makes a valid point that there's only so far a person can go for another person. The often foul-mouthed dialogue manages to be hilariously profane throughout. Mewes and Cox make for for winning leads, with Cox in particular a definite stand-out with her sympathetic characterization as the sweet, yet lethal Danika. Richard Fitzpatrick lends terrific support as Jack's boorish, jolly, and concerned buddy Roger. Simon Shohet's sharp cinematography expertly uses shadowy lighting to striking stylish effect. As a tasty extra plus, the delectable Mrs. Cox bears her blazing hot body with pleasing regularity. A real hoot.

Scarecrow-88 You want a downer. Jason Mewes is Jack, a paramedic working the godawful graveyard shift with an old timer, Roger(Richard Fitzpatrick), whose moral compass points in one direction it seems(his dick) and any advice on relationships often concern getting laid. He lives in a terrible neighborhood, and has a dump for an apartment. His needy, spoiled ex-girlfriend left him for a yoga instructor. He can't even go into a service station to get a slim jim and soda without the Indian store owner kicking him out despite the fact that he's a paramedic with blood on his shirt whose occupation is to help save lives. This guy, who really just wants love and a little bit of respect, deserves a break. We see that he and Roger deal with junkies, wackos, and other undesirables and this nightly grind is taking it's toll. That and the bitch who won't stop leaving messages on his answering machine about "getting her sh*bleep*it back". Then, one night, Jack finds a beautiful woman covered in blood and his life will never be the same after helping her..she is, in fact, a vampire, having been bitten by at some point before Jack found her in a heap, lying in the garbage near his apartment.I imagine Mewes had been dying/itching to portray someone other than a wise-cracking stoner, with a little more depth and BITTEN was a role which allowed him to do so. He's easy-going, tolerant, thoughtful, sensitive and kind(interesting enough, he's also vulnerable, as we see when Roger comments on ex Sherry's constant abuse towards Jack to him during their times at work). He's fed up with witnessing the worst of humankind on a daily basis, for sure, and who wouldn't tire at seeing life's miseries every night? Roger's a piece of work. Sex is always on his mind and his conversations with Jack often result in too many details involving how he'd like to "take a poke" or "does she do anal?" among other lewd comments. Many scenes with Roger often start after he's "dropped a load"(he has irritable bowel syndrome). Once Danika starts to feed, Jack's life becomes increasingly complicated. First from Sherry who meets Danika while plundering through Jack's things looking for her own possessions in the apartment. Then, from a pimp/drug dealer(and his underling), and, before you know it, Danika's insatiable blood thirst seriously demands much from Jack as he tries to appease her(the price for love, I guess). I mean, eventually, Jack runs out of room to store the bodies of Danika's victims and he's always the one having to clean up after her. "It's never enough." That's what Jack deals with and Roger is starting to become suspicious(three straight shifts without Jack are more than a little suspect).I figure fans of horror movies about sexy vamps will find BITTEN to their liking as Erica Cox is certainly easy on the eyes and almost always in panties and a t-shirt(and she does appear scantily clad on numerous occasions). The f-bombs become redundant after a while, but those familiar with anything featuring Mewes, I imagine, have developed an immunity to profanity. The movie almost exclusively occurs(except when Mewes and Fitzpatrick are on the job)in Jack's apartment or just outside. I could stand and admire Cox's form for hours, but her character doesn't exactly evolve, to tell you the truth. I wanted a reason to accept that, even though she's ravishing, Jack would continue to put up with her. She's sexy, and it doesn't really go beyond the surface, which, if I'm up front and honest, gets to be a bit hard to swallow(why would he follow her down such a dark road just because she's delectable? Is risking your life over a piece of ass really worth it? That's a point Roger makes which I can agree with)..I just have a hard time believing Jack would jeopardize his life for a woman whose past remains murky. And, BITTEN never elaborates or clues us in as to who Danika is(or was before her neck was gnawed upon). Jordan Madley appears briefly as Jack's former flame, Sherry. Not much in the way of vamp violence, some necking. Cox's sexy body and Fitzpatrick's quirky character might add some weight this minor vampire tale.

bigbadblair This film is a crack up. If you like dark humour then check it out. All the acting performances are good, the script is tight, and it is shot and edited well.Not sure why so many people didn't like it.. but hey some people reading this might think the transformer movies were good, what can you say? Most people are retards, especially those who didn't like this film.Bare in mind this is a contemporary vampire film, and also with the main character being a paramedic, creates some extra interest.I mean who doesn't like paramedic characters in films? Seriously?Special note: The last two paragraphs were added to meet minimum content requirements for comments. Perhaps IMDb is encouraging overly self-indulgent critiques?

slayrrr666 "Bitten" is an incredibly dull and almost worthless vampire entry.**SPOILERS**Frustrated with his life, medic Jack, (Jason Mewes) is content with laying his woes onto partner Roger, (Richard Fitzpatrick) about the situation, and decides to concentrate himself on his job. Soon afterward, he rescues the mysterious Danika, (Erica Cox) from a life on the street and takes her back to his place. Slowly starting to grow attached to her, he tries to get to know her only to discover a dark secret about her. Realizing that she's a voracious vampire intent upon feasting on blood, dragging him into a manic race to keep it hidden from those around him. When losing enough of those he knows finally convinces him that ending the relationship is for the better, he has to find a way out of the deadly situation.The Good News: There wasn't a whole lot here to like. Most of that is supplied by the film's incessant and rampant nudity, which for once is a big blessing. Most of it is supplied by the lead, and by doing it often, it gets better over time and generally works, making the scenes erotic, sexy or just sleazy. Then there's the big one with the full-on threesome that is a lot of fun, even if it's just a bunch of nudity flying around the screen. It's one of the most memorable in the film and has a lot to like about it. The violence in here is also quite nice, as there's some messy stuff in here. From the neck bites to the blood drinking, a couple stabbings with wooden stakes and lots of blood-drenched victim aftermath, this one isn't quite near the top of the genre when it comes to this area but it's got enough to satisfy. The last plus here is the different encounters here that occur between the vampire and the victims. Some are quite fun, such as the two local drug dealers, who are each lured in through rather stupid means and are the result of rather nice ambush assaults that are quite deserving of them, and the different reactions with the ex-girlfriend result in a couple great scenes, especially the resurrection moment which almost moves the three-way out of the best scene in the film. These here are all that's right.The Bad News: There was a lot not to like with this one. Most of this is due to the film's incredibly dull plot-line that doesn't do much of anything horror-related for nearly the entire running time. Hardly anything in this one happens other than the kills or the nudity, and what results is anger and irritation at the film for not doing anything. This is because the film is more of a study of their relationship rather than a horror movie, and that isn't very helpful when it comes time to actually getting around and featuring much of anything that will help this one. It's not like watching their interactions are very worthwhile since it's just endless scenes of them arguing and bickering together augmented by the other relationships, and for some, that might be enjoyable, but that doesn't make the film any sort to sit through. This one is nearly impossible to get through because of this, as it's not all that exciting watching what's going on with this one. The general idea of what's happening doesn't make a film interesting for those looking for more faster-paced material, and those are going to be the ones who aren't too big on this one as the very way it's supposed to play out means not a lot of interesting stuff happens. The only other area that doesn't really work is the finale, which is just over way too soon and really lacks what could've been a fun ending. It resorts to a few punches and a couple other moves before it's over, sucking out the drama quite easily from what should've been a big confrontation. These here are the film's flaws.The Final Verdict: There really isn't a whole lot to this, since most of the time nothing interesting is really happening. Really only worth anything for fans of the genre, this particular style of vampire films or of the creative crew, while those looking for something more engaging from the genre should look elsewhere.Rated R: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Nudity, several explicit sex scenes and rampant drug use