HumanoidOfFlesh "Boardinghouse" is among the weirdest horror movies I have ever seen.It's obnoxious and stupid.Jim Royce(played John Wintergate)buys the house where supernatural evil dwells killing various people.Like typical alpha male he wants to create for himself harem of numerous college girls.But the evil begins to kill girls one by one...Incomprehensible-this is the perfect word to describe John Wintergate's "Boardinghouse".There are several hallucinatory moments that has to be seen to be fully believed.The acting is pitiful,the direction is bad and the gore effects are nasty and amateurish.Whole sections of "Boardinghouse" are utterly nonsensical and ignore each other.Still if you are a fan of completely whacked out horror movies like "A Night to Dismember","Scream" from 1981 or "Blood Beat" give this cinematic drug a look.6 meditation tapes out of 10.

lovecraft231 Years ago, murders occurred in a boarding house. Psychic playboy Jim Royce (director John Wintergate) moves in, and has hot naked chicks surrounding him. No, this is not a porno. Unsurprisingly, the house isn't too keen on this, and soon, bad special effects and more come to terrorize those in the house.Shot on Video (the first horror movie to be SOV in fact) and released theatrically (yes, a SOV movie came to theaters) in 1982, "Boardinghouse" defies any real proper description. The acting boarders on Amateur Porn levels, the music is a blatant "Halloween" rip off, the gore is unconvincing, the 80's fashion styles are an offense to the eyes, and the plot (so to speak) is a ramshackle of odd events.That out of the way, the movie is never boring. Yes, it's bad. Yes, it is deficient of any real technical merit. Yet, you can't stop watching it. It's a level of bad that manages to be somewhat enduring in it's ineptitude. The movie moves along, though it never really goes anywhere. Hot chicks are knocked off randomly, without any reason to care about any of them.In short, to say it's incoherent would be an understatement. It's a movie that defies any real explanation, and is unlike anything I've ever seen before. Whether or not I want to see something like it again I don't know.

FieCrier A voice-over explains the HorrorVision concept, scary scenes being preceded either by some weird video effect blooming around a black glove, or a certain musical cue. I didn't really get it...Some opening exposition appears on a computer screen, but the quality of the video was not very good and I could make very little of it out. At least some of what the computer screen shows is actually depicted, I guess, some Nobel Prize winning scientist falling into his pool and drowning, and a woman bleeding copiously after her hand gets stuck in a below-sink garbage disposal. There's some scene in a hospital of a nurse who was going to recommend against someone being released committing suicide by hanging, and a orderly or doctor who disembowels himself with his hands as someone breathing in through their nose, and out through their mouth "sniff... ha HAAA! sniff... ha HAAA!" apparently forces them to do it.A guy tries to get some hot roommates by advertising the rooms at $100 apiece, which for Los Angeles is quite a deal, I guess, even in 1982. Supposedly the house has ten bedrooms, but it seems like he gets only about five women, and when another arrives all the rooms are taken and she has to get the child's room being used as a storage closet. There's also an Asian woman who appears in some scenes, but not others.The landlord, Jim, has some kind of business deal with a drunk involving computer printouts. He uses the strange breathing technique the killers uses to move things with his mind. One of the women in the house becomes interested in his mind control and pyramid grid and crystals, etc. and checks out Wisdom of the Mystic Masters, two volumes of A Course in Miracles, and the Tibetan Book of the Dead, among others.A plan is made to have Victoria's band set up on Friday at the house for a party on Saturday, I think. At some point Jim goes to the beach with Cindy and he's struck over the head, and she starts bleeding and walks into the ocean. When he comes to, he doesn't think to report this.There's at least a few scenes where their continuity is difficult to determine immediately. One involves a guy named Richard hiring a PI to find somebody. Another involves two policemen briefly coming to the house, one dressed in a shiny green suit and vest. Somebody also has a nightmare while they're sleeping in the den while their room is painted.There's a weird gardener who saved Jim's late uncle in Vietnam hobbling about. There's odd poltergeist activity in the bathrooms (one which needs its grout cleaned even before the blood gets on it). A bloody icepick gets buried in the yard by one of the women after it stabs another through the hand, while another woman suspiciously gardens compulsively.What to say about it? It's by no means the worst shot-on-video horror flick - The Last Slumber Party is worse, for one. It's also superior to a lot of more recent shot-on-digital video horror. Johnn Wintergate and Kalassu have been up to more new age stuff since this movie, and if there really will be a DVD with a commentary track by them, I'd definitely check it out.

Vince_In_Milan When people speak about BAD cinema, they forget one very important fact: no-one remembers the very worst film they ever saw. If a film is bad enough, you don't bother watching it. You merely change channels or fall asleep, walk out of the theatre or whatever. Truly bad movies are so mediocre that they don't even register on our consciousness.Seen in this very specific light, Boardinghouse is a pretty good film, really. It's certainly quite memorable and does a pretty good job of grabbing one's attention, which is more than one can say for a good 50% of movies.I find it hard to explain why I actually LIKE "boardinghouse" When I caught it on TV the other night I thought I was watching some South American soapie. The plot is basic slasher stuff (guy peoples boarding house with scantily clad girls while serial killer type lurks in the shadows), the acting is pretty much a non event and the special effects (such as they are) are easily outdone by even the cheapest of modern day digicams. On the positive side, some of the girls aren't bad looking, everyone has these wonderful, late 70s clothes (huge collars, big fluffy hairdos on the men, flares, etc. etc) and the film is fast and gory enough to guarantee that there is never a dull moment. The film was shot straight to video and the very cheapness of the production adds a rough, nasty dimension to the film which would otherwise not be there.Boardinghouse is nowhere NEAR being a fantastic movie, but if you have a sense of humour and are not too pedantic it can be a fun and memorable experience. I would certainly watch it again.