Cotton Muffinita This film was so good that after watching only the first 20 seconds my eyes were glued to the screen. Literally. God came down from the heavens and instructed me to prove my faith by applying industrial strength adhesive to my eyes and sticking them to my television.This is God's film.Would you argue with God? That would make you a heathen. Therefore, if you do not like this film, you are a satanist and a heretic. Please send your name and address to IMDb's head office, so that I may turn up at your house, erect my wooden cross, to which you will be nailed and immolated.I apologize for not being particularly insightful as to the content of this film, but in doing so I would be denying you the pleasure of watching it for yourself. I had never been in love until I watched this film. I hereby declare that Bob Clark be crucified and his name be stripped from the bible. Ed Bye is our new lord and savior.AVETE ADIPEM SLAGS. AVITE ADIPEM SLAGS. AVITE ADIPEM SLAGS.

DrHugoZHackenbush Watched this as part of a quest to watch the IMDb bottom 100. It's hard to believe that there are 27 worse movies because this is without a doubt the worst movie I have ever had the misfortune of suffering through. It starts abysmally and completely fails to redeem itself throughout it's excruciating length. It's difficult to imagine why an actor like Anthony Head would want to associate himself with this turkey. Even on paper it can't have looked at all good. With vomit-making sexual references and toilet humor that could easily have been written by a 10-year-old this is definitely worth skipping. If you see the DVD in a shop, not only should you not watch it, you should burn it....in a volcano where possible.=SPOILER ALERT= Interestingly, I think Jerry O'Connell is probably the only actor to have his penis bitten off in two different movies.

Jackson Booth-Millard I saw the DVD cover for this film, based on the crude comic strip in Viz, I thought it was some sort of porn film or something, but it was just an excuse for gross-out humour, from director Ed Bye (Kevin & Perry Go Large). Basically vulgar and crass, booze swilling, kebab scoffing, over-weight nymphomaniacs Sandra (Smack the Pony's Fiona Allen) and Tracey (Sophie Thompson), living on S*** Street, Fulchester, north England are your typical fat women with no chance at making something of themselves. That is until American billionaire Sean Cooley (Scream 2's Jerry O'Connell) gets a blow to the head, gaining a new insane personality, finding the two fat slags the most beautiful women on Earth, seeing them on a daytime TV chat show. He is determined to make stars of them, and forces fashion designer Fidor Konstantin (Notting Hill's James Dreyfus) to put them on stage to model, which only works when they get their knockers out. Soon Sandra and Tracey are taking over the UK with a number one record, winning the Turner Prize, and making fat the new black, always maintaining their vulgarity, innocence and stupidity. But wanting attention from Sean, growing jealousy is drawing the two women apart, until of course he suffers the blow to the head getting him back to normal, and ending their success. They do however find a way to steal all the money he made from their fame, and make him out to be a criminal, before he is knocked again, and they return to near regular lives, being vulgar. Also starring Anthony Head as Victor, Geri Halliwell as Paige, Naomi Campbell as Sales Assistant, Angus Deayton as Maurice the hotel receptionist, Steve Punt as Immigration 1, Mock the Week's Hugh Dennis as Immigration 2, Les Dennis as MC, Spoons' Tom Goodman-Hill as Baz, EastEnders' Michael Greco as Niarchos, Burt Kwouk as Dalai Lama, Eamonn Holmes, Dolph Lundgren as Randy, Henry Miller as Dave, Ralf Little as Milkman, John Thomson as Foreman, Sarah Cawood as TOTP presenter, Colin Murray as TOTP presenter, Coronation Street's Alison King as Receptionist and David Schneider as Tanner. It might be a very British film, it may have a very good variety of British talent in the cast, but it isn't the sort of thing that makes you proud to be British, you'd probably emigrate. I don't want to see a film with extremely fat women getting their tits out, farting and burping a lot, squirting bodily fluids, or shagging people, it just made me feel awful, and it is certainly one of the worst films ever made in Britain. Very poor!

drharper Eeeeee.... ah started readin' t'Viz when ya could onnly get't at't Kard Bar...... which is the one outlet in Newcastle that sold the thing way before its glory days (also now long gone). But on that basis, I feel entitled to say that this is actually a very funny film. It has an incredible cast, looked the part- OK, they departed from the usual locations of Mr. Vitoni's and the Dog & Hammer, but for me it worked (except for the fact that Dolph Lundgren got away with his shorts still on, of course). Geri Haliwell was actually rather excellent, and Anthony Head was superb ("...and Ethiopa has a space programme..."). The number of genuinely funny moments was enough to sustain a pleasant game of "spot the cameo"). Overall, vastly better than the animated version, and a thoroughly enjoyable bit of light entertainment. After all, anything that combines a dig at the Turner Prize with an informed critique of the doner kebab can't be all bad. Give it a try- you might just agree that it is extremely funny.