Happy Flower
I marked "contains spoilers" because there's no way not to spoil this movie in a review. In fact, you will have it all figured out in the first 5 minutes anyway, so it's really just about watching it all play out.Watch Slater from Saved by the Bell get kidnapped at gunpoint by an insane Sabrina the teenage witch and be held hostage in a secluded cabin with her clueless family that ignore his constant, desperate pleas for help. Watch as Sabrina's family fall in love with Slater within the first 3 minutes of meeting him - even though the explanation for his hysterical cries of kidnapping are due to a serious anxiety problem that, if true, would put any reasonable person on alert immediately - as they rationalize away the huge amount of evidence that their daughter's new romance isn't all that it seems.Bask in the spirit of the holidays while watching insane Sabrina's family - frisky drunken Grandma obviously included - and Slater's terrible girlfriend act out every cliché b-story from the past decade in the background of this extremely predictable "love story".If you are a fan of horrible acting, embarrassing dialogue, predictably bad writing and inappropriate sexy bondage jokes delivered by the creepiest gas station attendant this side of the Hills Have Eyes then you and your family are in for a holiday treat. I am a fan of the above and loved this movie. It was so bad that after watching, I immediately started calling my friends and family to spread the love so we could all laugh together. It was truly awful. Slater's acting is indescribably bad. I am making this movie a holiday tradition in my home.
MartianOctocretr5
An utterly ridiculous premise. A girl breaks up with her boy friend, and kidnaps a guy with hand cuffs to get him to pose as her boy friend for Christmas with her family. Make sense? Of course not, but it doesn't matter.Even using her Sabrina powers, I doubt the tiny MJ Hart could over power Mario Lopez. Nor is it likely the parents would be fooled by this absurd scheme, especially when the guy starts yelling to them for help! Well, it's a rom-com, so anything goes. On top of that, the Christmas theme demands the exact sentimental outcome you'll see coming more than 50 light years away. Even if you can't give it the poetic license it needs (a lot, lol), you can still laugh at how ludicrous the whole thing is.Silly nonsense, but utterly harmless. For a brainless diversion, this one, believe it or not, works.
freakfire-1
This movie sure did have a lot of sexual puns for an ABC Family holiday special. It wasn't just here and there, but it was damn near every 2-3 minutes. And Mario Lopez seems to still be a man of affection for lonely and/or rich girls. Because he got the attention of 3, including the grandma, in this movie.Anyway, Mario Lopez is taken hostage. Yes it can be done and no you should not do it. Because if you do that, he might think its an acting gig. The reason for this kidnapping is because Melissa Joan Hart lost her boyfriend and needs a new one to take home to the family.And this just opens up a whole bunch of sexual innuendos and secrets the family is keeping from each other. Yet somehow Mario and Melissa end up happy together. Huh. A corny Christmas love story.While the ending is casual, the material is not. So because it was actually funny at times, it gets a decent grade. Aside for the scene at the beginning, it all ties in too. "C+
dickjones87
This was a cute TV movie of the week that I discovered to be a lot more fun then I would have ever thought. Melissa Joan Hart's character is a down and out waitress that kidnaps Mario Lopez and takes him home to her family, forcing him to be her boyfriend. I've never seen such a storyline before, and the silliness of it all was made it so great. The actors who played the parents were a lot of fun, even a visible aged Markie Post. Sorry I just keep thinking of her "Night Court" days back in the 80s, and it's harsh to see her so worn out and old looking. The only other bad thing was that Hart wasn't as pretty or hot as she could be, she is not in the same "league" of Mario Lopez so that part of the story was a bit hard to swallow to. But then again, she's the chick and he's the man, so if she's less attractive then audiences are probably more willing to buy it then if it were the other way around. I am a straight guy, but I found myself sitting there thinking how hot Mario Lopez was, and forgetting about the female leads.
AD
