Scott LeBrun The Earth is currently being over-run by space vampires. In an attempt to solve the problem at its source, a mission is launched to the distant planet that spawned the blood suckers. The team, including Dr. Rynning (John Carradine, a man who could seemingly never say "no" to a gig), Commander Steve Bryce (Bruce Powers), and comely female Linda (Britt Semand), discover a globe much like a prehistoric Earth, complete with dinosaurs, lobster-men, snake-men, bat-men, and warring caveman tribes.Even at his best, low budget filmmaker Al Adamson was still basically making schlock. This is one of his most utterly shameless, taking copious stock footage (mostly from a 60s Filipino film called "Tagani", but also cribbing from "Robot Monster" and "One Million B.C."), adding really cheesy voice-over narration (by the legendary weird performance artist Brother Theodore) and his own clunky new footage. Adamson and company take the opportunity to have lots of fun with tinting ("Tagani" was shot in black & white), and the visual schemes are priceless. Ooh, now everything's red! Now everything's green! And now it's blue! And so on. The movie is overall so ridiculous that it is quite amusing and endearing in its own stunningly awful way. One highlight: Adamson regulars Robert Dix and Vicki Volante showing how people make love in the "future".And to top it all off, the movie was re-released under a handful of other titles, all in the name of trying to maximize that profit.Al appears in the opening minutes as one of the vampires.Five out of 10.

cyclone259 Bad, bad, bad. Not even the good kind of bad either. You can look at most any Ed Wood project and say "That movie was terrible, but it had heart" but, not this one. It was on life-support, bloated, pumped full of morphine and waiting to die.Don't get me wrong, I love terrible cinema (Plan 9 From Outer Space) is part of my movie collection, but there's no excuse for this one. The sadder thing is that I regrettably paid a $1.99 to watch it on the 'Classics On-Demand' channel. That's 90 minutes I'll never get back.Anyway, the storyline. It opens with some 'vampires' preying on hapless victims in LA? New York? Who knows. The vampires are clad in 60's era chic attire, lurking in the darkness to unleash their plastic-toothed evil upon the world.Jump ahead... Scientists? from earth are traveling to a far-off planet and after a run-in with an unknown energy force end up making an emergency landing on a planet replete with cavemen, tinted cut scenes and lizards wearing latex appliances. Come to find out, this is apparently the home world to the vampires on earth. Whoopee.After seeing John Carradine's excellent performance in 'The Grapes of Wrath' and then in this dreck (and apparently many other titles in the genre), it makes one think that someone was really hard up for a paycheck. Sad, truly, truly sad and almost heartbreaking. It made me think of Lugosi at the end of his career. Who knows, maybe he actually enjoyed working, no matter how crappy the project was.Anyway, the cast and acting were as cardboard as the scenery. The irritating 'tinting' of the scenes (which allowed the insertion of clips from other awful movies) was a distraction. Overall, in my Top 10 of the worst movies I have ever seen. A must miss at any price.

Woodyanders This uproariously atrocious Al Adamson $1.50 sci-fi/horror patch-up job rates highly as one of Al's single most sublimely stinky pictures to ever disgrace celluloid. This beautifully bad and berserk baby boasts John Carradine at his all-time crankiest, Brother Theodore's gut-busting wheezing histrionic opening narration, poorly tinted black and white giant creature footage from the moldy oldie items "One Million Years B.C." and "Unknown Island," cheap cardboard spaceship sets, a quick cameo by Adamson as a vampire with wicked sideburns, a particularly ridiculous heavy-breathing sex scene, a pretty sorry trash cinema ensemble cast that includes Vicki Volante, Jennifer Bishop and Robert Dix, chintzy cinematography by Vilmos Zsigmond, such hysterically goofy monsters as hairy cave-dwelling bat demons, swamp-residing lobster men, snake men, and two warring cavemen tribes, and a stupendously silly plot concerning a fearless team of astronauts traveling to a hostile alien planet so they can thwart a severe extraterrestrial vampire plague that's ravaging Earth! This isn't by any stretch of the imagination a good movie, but it is nonetheless an often unintentionally amusing and hence hugely enjoyable Grace Z low-budget crap camp classic.

frankfob Ya gotta love Al Adamson. Only he would (1) take footage from a 20-year-old movie about gorillas in diving helmets ("Robot Monster"); (2) combine it with clips from a 30-year-old movie about elephants with hair mats glued to their sides ("One Million B.C."); (3) throw in parts from a God-knows-how-old Filipino movie about midget cannibals, half man/half lobster monsters and beer-bellied Chinese cavemen with snakes growing out of their shoulders (all of the aforementioned footage being in black and white); (4) spend $2.15 shooting new "connecting" footage (in color, no less) with an apparently--to be charitable--confused John Carradine and a bunch of actors who have trouble remembering their lines (among them a vapid blonde who is so incompetent that all her dialogue is dubbed in by someone else, and who doesn't even have the decency to make up for it by getting naked); (5) put it out under at least 10 different titles; and (6) try to pass each one off as a new movie. Go, Al!This is Al's masterwork, the film by which he will always be remembered. Orson Welles had "Citizen Kane," Michael Curtiz had "Casablanca," Francis Coppola had "The Godfather," Al Adamson has "Vampire Men of the Lost Planet." You're in heady company, Al. You deserve it.