TheLittleSongbird I guess the answer to my own question is that it is so bad it's good. Fans of the book will probably well and truly dislike this film, but while some of it was like viewing a train wreck, I did find myself moderately enjoying it.The cast is pretty electric and do their best. They don't have much to work with and the results overall are a mixed bag, plus I admit there were some questionable casting choices initially, but I could actually sort of see some effort. The pacing is pretty good, the direction was at least okay(in some ways) and the film is a good enough length, maybe not long enough to cover the whole story but it wasn't too short or too long in my opinion.However, I have to admit there are a LOT of problems with this film. The story is incoherent and sometimes hard to follow, while the script has a lot of ups and downs. Complete with some garish cinematography, some amateurish sets and some half-baked special effects. And in case you're wondering, it does bare little resemblance to the book- not that it is a flaw or anything, but in case you love the book and are thinking of seeing this film, I am just warning you in advance it has a number of changes.Overall, has its moments, but it does have this so bad its good value, so it's watchable but don't expect a masterpiece. 5/10 Bethany Cox

zardoz-13 The funny sound that you may hear when you eyeball this execrable version of Jules Verne's classic "Journey to the Center of the Earth" is Verne spinning in his grave. The only thing about this 80 minute opus that has anything to do with "Journey to the Center of the Earth" is the title. Otherwise, everything else in this lackluster production is new and not worth watching. In fact, the director has written here at IMDb.COM that he directed only eight minutes of "Journey to the Center of the Earth" and the studio tacked on part of "Dollman" helmer Albert Pyun's sequel to his own "Alien from L.A." with Kathy Ireland. Evidently, the producers ran out of money and to satisfy overseas contractual obligations, they grafted Pyun's sequel onto director Rusty Lemorande's movie. Please, don't rent or buy this wretched piece of garbage.Unlike director Henry Levin's period piece "Journey to the Center of the Earth" (1959) with James Mason and Pat Boone, Lemorande's "Journey to the Center of the Earth" takes place in contemporary times in Hawaii. Two fellows, a British nanny, and a dog are brought together for the adventure of a lifetime purely by coincidence. Richard (Paul Carafotes of "Blind Date") and his comic book obsessed brother Bryan (Ilan Mitchell-Smith of "Weird Science") are going out to explore a cave. The heroine, Crystina (Nicola Cowper of "Underworld"), works for a domestic service called 'Nannies R Us.' Being a nanny has been Crystina's life-long dream, but she has made a less of all five of her nanny jobs. Nevertheless, her sympathetic supervisor, Ms. Ferry (Lynda Marshall of "Africa Express"), sends her to Hawaii. Crystina's new client, rock star Billy Foul (Jeremy Crutchley of "Doomsday") who is scheduling one last concert to revive his flagging career, has a dog named Bernard. Foul wants Crystina to take Bernard to a doggie day spa. Crystina is waiting on the arrival of her taxi when a careless motel attendant accidentally puts the basket that conceals Bernard in Richard's jeep. You see, Foul has hidden his canine in a basket because motel management strictly prohibits pets on their premises. Foul has disguised the dog as a human baby. Anyway, Crystina catches a cab and tells the driver follow Richard.After she catches up with them to get her dog, the cabbie cruises away and abandons her. Crystina demands that Richard drive her back to town, but he has other plans. Unhappily, Crystina joins the guys and they get lost, and then find themselves in the lost city of Atlantis, a police state ruled by a dictator, at the center of the Earth. The rulers of Atlantis repeatedly notify their citizens that life on the surface does not exist. Our heroes and heroine stumble onto Atlantis quite by accident. Atlantis resembles a disco and everybody looks like they are straight out of a punk rock opera. The ruler of Atlantis, General Rykov (Janet Du Plessis of "Operation Hit Squad"), is orchestrating a raid on the surface with clones of the first human, Wanda Saknussemm (Kathy Ireland of "Necessary Roughness"), to visit Atlantis. Predictably, General Rykov machinations to rule Atlantis and overthrow the Earth fails, and our heroes and heroine save the day."Journey to the Center of the Earth" is an abomination. The movie seems to be a comedy despite its superficial satire about dictatorships. Albert Pyun is one of my favorite low budget action directors, but he blew it on this lightweight shambles of a science fiction saga.

lemorande I'm the named director of the film. Only the approximately first 8 minutes of the film were written or directed by me. The remainder of the film is actually the sequel to "Alien In LA" which was tacked on and renamed "Journey to the Center of the Earth" in order to fulfill contractual commitments by the production company to foreign distributors. The remainder of the footage I shot (my film) has never been seen by the public (and few others) due to the lack of funds at the time to shoot and insert the many special effects shots required. The storyline of my version/script is entirely different from that in the above-titled film (the released version).

SanDiego Sequel to the campy, much maligned Kathy Ireland vehicle, "Alien from L.A." This time Nicola Cowper (dressing like a 1980's Cyndi Lauper/Madonna clone) stars in the lead (Kathy has a cameo) doing an "Adventures in Babysitting goes to the Center of the Earth" type of thing. Whatever you liked (or hated) about the first film, be assured there's more here. 1980's punk rock version of Jules Verne's "Journey to the Center of the Earth" can be taken for what it is but the plot at the end is very difficult to follow and ultimately falls apart. I liked the Brady-Bunch-goes-to-Hawaii theme at the beginning but the creeps at the center of the Earth (about 300 feet below the surface actually) were boring if anything at all. Looking like a live-action Saturday morning TV show from the early 1970's (think H.R. Puffenstuff) this is the type of film best watched while doing something else with a bunch of other people. Maybe a better title would be "Is This Still On?"