Wuchak RELEASED IN 1969 and written & directed by Jesús Franco, "Kiss Me, Monster" stars Janine Reynaud (Diana) & Rosanna Yanni (Regina) as detective duo The Red Lips who seek the missing Doctor Beltran who has concocted a formula for super-human clones with the mental capacity of canines. Key informants keep winding up dead so the girls go undercover as a nightclub act on an island off the coast of Spain where they charm the mogul, Eric Vicas (Adrian Hoven), whom they suspect has something to do with the killings and the missing doctor. Quickie filmmaker Franco released 7 movies in 1969, including this one, which was shot in 24 days in August/September, 1967. It's the second of a duology featuring the detective pair; the first being "Sadist Erotica," which was released earlier in the year. Being thrown together so quickly, the plot is virtually incomprehensible unless you're aware of it up front (as described above). Another problem is the lousy dubbing, which (1.) doesn't fit the lips of the characters and (2.) isn't congruent in tone with what's happening on screen.But, if you can get past those flaws, there are several things to enjoy in this spy parody/adventure, which comes across as a melding of late 60's flicks like Raquel Welch's "Fathom" (1967) and "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" (1970), but worse than both due to the issues noted above. Some highlights include the Spanish coastal locations, the groovy percussion-oriented soundtrack, the late 60's chic and a few good-looking 60's babes. Speaking of which Reynaud was 37 during shooting and Yanni 29. Neither do much for me (they're a little too slinky), but I definitely prefer Reynaud as far as sex appeal goes. Unfortunately, with the exception of a couple of outfits, the 60's apparel they're laden with doesn't exactly augment their beauty. THE MOVIE RUNS 1 hour 15 minutes and was shot in Spain with one part in Munich, Germany. ADDITIONAL WRITERS: Luis Revenga & Karl Heinz Mannchen. GRADE: C-

Woodyanders Franco's sequel to his amusingly campy tongue-in-cheek spy romp "Two Undercover Girls" is an even more loopy, playful, and saucy outing that blithely eschews narrative coherence in favor of gloriously giddy and inane all-out lunacy. This time our luscious and vivacious Red Lips dynamic distaff super sleuth duo -- shrewd minx Diana (delicious redhead Janice Reynaud) and cheery airhead Regina (yummy blonde Rosanna Yanni) -- run afoul of a kooky assortment of folks who include masked cultists who resemble rogue Klu Klux Klan members and a team of lesbian feminists who are all after a secret formula for making human clones. Reynaud and Yanni display a positively infectious loose and natural on-screen chemistry; it's a total delight to see these lovely ladies banter and bounce off each other as they find themselves in one crazy situation after another: The gals pose as a sultry saxophone act, wear the wildest clothes, bust a few clunky karate chops, and even perform a smoking hot striptease number. Of course, this being a Franco flick there's the inevitable hilariously gratuitous and protracted nightclub set piece complete with funky uninhibited dancing and insanely blaring music. Why, Jess even tosses in a mild whipping and a decent smidgen of tasty bare female flesh for good measure. The cast have a field day with their broad roles: Adrian Hoven as the sinister Eric Vicas, Chris Howland as inept detective Francis McClure, Michael Lemoine as charming mad scientist Jacques Maurier, Ana Casares as vampy club owner Linda, and Manuel Velasco as affable playboy Andy. The richly saturated cinematography by Jorge Herrero and Franz Hofer gives the picture a dazzling vibrant look. Jerry van Rooyen's exuberant jazz score likewise hits the right-on groovy spot. An absolute wacky blast.

MARIO GAUCI The follow-up to TWO UNDERCOVER ANGELS (1967) is even less successful than its predecessor but, again, it's enjoyable enough along the way to be generally palatable. The plot of this one is even more nonsensical than that of the first film: as a matter of fact, in the featurette accompanying TWO UNDERCOVER ANGELS on the Blue Underground DVD, Franco himself calls it "surreal" and believes this to have been the reason why KISS ME MONSTER wasn't as popular as the original! Anyway, here we have sci-fi rather than horror elements - the creation of superhuman beings, which actually makes the film's very title a misnomer, but is also not all that different from the central idea of Franco's earlier Al Pereira adventure ATTACK OF THE ROBOTS (1966)! Besides, the leads themselves - Janine Reynaud and Rosanna Yanni - didn't seem quite as charming here: for one thing, they never get to wear the fetishistic "Red Lips" costume, despite going through an equal array of kitschy dresses throughout; neither are their occasional asides to the audience in the first film retained for the follow-up. Also, their essential roles have been exchanged this time around - in TWO UNDERCOVER ANGELS, Reynaud assumed the damsel-in-distress persona (being, basically, the brains of the outfit) whom blonde bimbo Yanni managed to rescue in the nick of time; the latter is now the one who suffers the indignity of being drugged and abducted, while the former does the bailing-out! The remaining cast members are virtually the same as in TWO UNDERCOVER ANGELS (including another cameo by Franco himself), but mostly playing new roles: Adrian Hoven turns heroic for this one, whereas Michel Lemoine has graduated from monster assistant to mad scientist. Once again, the English-language soundtrack provides some truly cringe-worthy moments - such as the awful dubbing of the songs warbled on guitar by a couple of old Spaniards.Let us now take a look at the alternate Spanish version: as can be deduced from the previous comments, the film is much better served by the Spanish dialogue. With respect to the editing, it's generally better than in EL CASO DE LAS DOS BELLEZAS: the re-arranging of scenes here is never quite as jarring as in the previous film; there is, however, one notable mistake - with the apparent utilization of a different take in the Spanish variant during the scene in which Reynaud saves Yanni from the villains' clutches, wherein one of these is shot dead by her in the U.S. version but not the Spanish...only to show his lifeless body slumped on the sofa seconds later! Likewise, the alternate music score (again by Fernando Garcia Morcillo) suits the sequel better than the first film, given the lesser emphasis on pop-art references this time around in order to make way for an exploration into ancient Spanish culture - what with a subplot involving a secret society of Klansmen types and the "McGuffin" in the film, the all-important red case, concealed inside a windmill whose key resides in the notes on a sheet of music.The silly opening sequence to the U.S. version has been dropped (but, then, the use of a different credit sequence for the Spanish print means that an effective transition from black-and-white into color had to be sacrificed as well - since a character in the film is named Vittorio Freda, which I assume to be a nod to Italian cult film-makers Vittorio Cottafavi and Riccardo Freda, it's possible that this gimmick was borrowed from the former's THE HUNDRED HORSEMEN [1964]); gone, too, is an endless and irrelevant go-go number. The new footage includes some additional scenes in which the "Red Lips" duo are seen interacting with the police, as they recount to them the events of the film in flashback - but there's also one murder (with the body inexplicably dumped in the heroines' bedroom) missing from the U.S. version, while the developed relationship in the Spanish print between two secondary characters helps to better delineate their individual loyalties. Besides, in spite of my limited understanding of the Spanish language, I caught a number of witty lines which were changed for the U.S. variant (including an amusing reference to Franco's own recurring creation Dr. Orloff!). The English-language version, however, does feature a few seconds of unconvincing gore not found in the Spanish counterpart.With regards to the Blue Underground DVD itself, here too the transfer does justice to the film's colorful visuals; the Spanish version, however, wasn't up to the level of EL CASO DE LAS DOS BELLEZAS - for one thing, it seemed to be culled from two different prints, as the Aspect Ratio kept alternating (sometimes in the same scene!) between 1.66:1 and Full-Frame. The Jess Franco interview on the Blue Underground disc wasn't focused on the film proper but rather a rambling piece (albeit fascinating as ever) about various topics - the relationship between psychedelia and drugs and that between censorship and pornography; he even talks at length about his decidedly singular association with Orson Welles.

Infofreak Unfortunately the version of 'Kiss Me Monster' I watched was the 75 minute, badly dubbed version. I'm blaming most of the movie's inadequacies on that. I enjoyed 'Sadisterotica' as a change of pace for Jess Franco - a campy spy thriller rather than his more typical erotic nightmares on film - but this is nowhere near as good.The 'Red Lips' detective team (Janine Reynaud and Rosanna Yanni) return, as do a few Franco regulars. The plot this time around is paper thin. Some sheet music leads the girls to an island where a missing scientist has been experimenting on people. They pose as saxophonists (!) while they investigate the mysterious goings on there, which somehow involve a secret cult. There's all the usual double crosses, plot twists, skimpy outfits, and a totally gratuitous go-go dancing sequence, but the emphasis this time around is more on humour ("humour" - it isn't the least bit amusing) rather than action. Not Franco's best effort, and certainly not a good introduction to his oeuvre. 'Vampiros Lesbos' and 'Succubus' are still the best way for newcomers to begin.