melvelvit-1 As soon as I saw the thank-you's to Marineland & Mexico in the opening credits, I had a feeling I'd be in for some road show Jacques Cousteau sure to bore the pants off me and I was right. Filmed by a noted underwater photographer, it's certainly nice-looking but still, it's an hour-and-a-half of watching lead mermaid (the aptly named Diane Webber, a former Playboy Playmate) swim around and around -and around- as a marine biologist and a slimy villain search for giant pearls off the coast of Tiburon, an uninhabited Mexican island. On the plus side, it was in color, the three mermaids weren't cheesy, and the bad guy was played by the great Tim Carey but even he couldn't keep me from occasionally nodding off. This was the original version -actually a "DVD extra"- since the film was butchered and re-released with topless mermaids inserted and the waterlogged plot changed ...to what, I don't know because I have no intention of sitting through it again.

Scott LeBrun "Mermaids of Tiburon" has a wonderful, otherworldly quality about it, thanks to the efforts of writer / director John Lamb, who's best known as a top notch underwater photographer. It has a sedate pace, not much of a story, and not a whole lot of action, so it won't be for all tastes, but cult movie lovers who love the surreal are sure to find it quite engaging. Given Lambs' background, it's not surprising that the visuals are so strong. The underwater scenes in this thing are just gorgeous - and, naturally, the women are all gorgeous too. It may take a viewer out of the story to some degree seeing that not all of the mermaids have fins, but the film remains a interesting and erotic experience.George Rowe, in his only acting gig, plays Samuel Jamison, a marine biologist with Marineland who accepts a gig offered to him by elderly gentleman Ernst Steinhauer (John Mylong of "Robot Monster"): travel to the waters around Tiburon, an island off the coast of Mexico, in search of pearls. Well, George finds something else entirely: a grouping of exquisite mermaids who fascinate him. The real world also intrudes harshly, as a greedy fellow pearl hunter, Milo Sangster (played by the legendary screen psycho Timothy Carey) shows up using unscrupulous methods in the search for treasure.Not a lot may happen in "Mermaids of Tiburon", yet it just pulls a viewer right in with its ambiance, enhanced by a beautiful music score courtesy of Richard LaSalle. Rowe never speaks on camera; instead his dialogue is entirely expressed in voice over narration. He does a decent job, and Carey is great malevolent fun as one could expect. The physical charms of the mermaid performers are impossible to resist, with Playboy Playmate Diane Webber (who would again play a mermaid on an episode of the series 'Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea') and Gaby Martone placed front and centre.This has an agreeable midnight movie feel to it at all times, and it's sure to appeal to lovers of obscure B pictures. Clocking in at a mere 77 minutes, it's always watchable.Seven out of 10.

Woodyanders Young marine biologist Dr. Samuel Jamison (a likable performance by director George Rowe in his only acting gig) discovers a bunch of lovely and enticing lady mermaids while searching for buried treasure located deep in the ocean nearby an isolated Mexican island. Writer/director John Lamb gives this simple tale a certain sweet and strangely innocent charm. Moreover, Lamb also maintains a steady pace throughout and brings a sense of genuine awe to the fantastic subject matter. The actresses who portray the titular topless sea sirens are quite attractive and well-endowed; Diane Webber and Gaby Martone in particular are totally ravishing. Popping up in cool supporting roles are the singular Timothy Carey as nasty no-count criminal creep Milo Sangster, Jose Gonzales-Gonzales as excitable Mexican fisherman Pepe Gallardo, and John Mylong as weird old gent Ernst Steinhauer. Lamb's beautiful bright color cinematography offers a wondrous wealth of stunning visuals (the underwater photography is often very striking). Richard La Selle's lush, stirring orchestral likewise hits the melodic spot. An enjoyable little flick.

Chiron-5 With just a shade more imagination, this could have been a truly beautiful piece of work. It is very effective and thought provoking despite its surface appearance of cheapo trash. Its details have been very carefully worked out to the point where you can almost believe in the existence of the mermaids. The story is a simple but believable conflict of good and evil set against a gorgeous background. It's also a story of nature threatened by greed. If the mermaids had been just a little more mysterious and less obviously girls in mermaid costumes, it would have been perfect.