Leofwine_draca NINJA: THE FINAL DUEL is a fun and cheesy ninja movie from Taiwan's Robert Tai, a man you can rely upon to churn out shlocky but highly entertainment. This film is no different. A squad of evil ninjas are skilled in various different disciples and decide to destroy the Shaolin Temple. Much action ensues, and a big influence seems to be Chang Cheh's FIVE ELEMENT NINJA.Some of the ninjas have claws and can climb trees like a cat; others use ropes for rock and tree climbing. Certain ones use spades and straws to burrow and live beneath the sand. Best of the lot are the ones riding giant amphibious spiders in scenes which mark the movie's cheesy highlight. The main ninja bad guy hides a natty pair of navy shorts beneath his billowing white robes.Against this evil group are the stock heroes, including Alexander Rei Lo in what is a very typical performance for the star. Half of the running time seems to be extremely random, with one lengthy sequence involving a couple of western actors (including Toby Russell, Ken's kid, and Silvio Azolini) playing Hare Krishnas who turn up to seek solace at the the temple. Eugene Thomas has a fine turn as a peace-loving monk who ends up kicking backside regardless, and Yi-Min Li has a smaller role as one of the elder monks.Inevitably there's a ton of action here, most of it cheesy and amusing, with basic camera tricks used to portray the secret skills of the ninjas. The film isn't gory but there are a few bloody moments and at least one decapitation. Listen out for music ripped from GHOSTBUSTERS and RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II as well as sonar effects from DAS BOOT. High art this isn't, but entertaining it certainly is.

HaemovoreRex Having previously heard a great deal about this film and its sizable cult following and being a big fan of ninja movies (especially really bad ones!) I was pretty eager to view this in order to see for myself what all the fuss was about.Having now viewed the film in question I can say two things: 1) Sadly, this is a somewhat mundane, formulaic and underwhelming affair but.... 2) It does have a number of utterly hilarious scenes on offer!The plot concerns a group of ninja who seek to destroy the inhabitants of the Shaolin Temple as an act of revenge. At the same time a skilled fighter and monk (played by Alexander Lou) has also travelled from japan to visit the temple with the wish to gain insightful Buddhist knowledge. Inevitably Lou gets tangled up in the resulting conflict and eventually finds himself fighting side by side with the Buddist monks against the ruthless stealth assassins.As I previously said, the above plot provides nothing out of the ordinary and plays as a typical kung fu outing (although the martial arts are well staged throughout). In fact had this been all there was to the proceedings then this film would surely have been an entirely forgettable affair. However, luckily for us there are some highly memorable and hilarious scenes included that lift this film immeasurably.One is some lines of hilarious dialogue that crop up throughout the film. Just check out the verbal exchanges when Lou takes on regular co-star Eugene Thomas....Which incidentally brings me on to another major plus in the film...some of the bizarre characters. Eugene for instance, appears as The Black Monk Of Harlem (!!!), a jive talking, peace loving (but expert fighter when called to defend himself) monk who is paying the Shaolin Temple a visit. Also of note are a comical pair of Hari Krishna westerners who are also trying to gain admittance to the Temple (and who promptly get a good beating for their troubles!)Finally, there's some hilarious stand out scenes, most notably a feisty female fighter who, caught off guard by the ninja, is forced to fight in the buff and of course the scene that this film is most famous for, the Water Spider Attack Team! Words simply cannot describe how hilarious the sequences in which this ninja assault squad feature really are! (especially when we see them frantically paddling and kicking as their spider goes absolutely nowhere!)To summarise, whilst in itself this isn't a great film by any means, it does nonetheless boast enough daft scenes to surely induce much mirth in any self respecting fan of bad movies......now where can I get hold of a spider inflatable?

ken-miller There is one all-important reason you should view this film: The Ninja Water Spider Attack Team! One of the most insane ideas ever to be recorded on celluloid: ninjas hopping about a lake on top of giant, rubber spiders! The other ninja teams're pretty good too, especially the dudes who dig super-fast under the ground. Also worth looking out for is the sequence where the fighters do their formation-marching in front of their leader: one pattern they assume is a swastika-shape, like something from "Springtime for Hitler"! Oh yeah, one more thing to watch out for: the totally naked girl fighter who likes to do high kicks! The original film/series that this footage comes from supposedly runs for hours and hours! Some more of this footage can be seen in Shaolin Dolemite.

David Austin I've seen the drastically cut version of this movie (I don't know if the full version is available) and it's pretty much an incoherent mess. The plot involves an evil group of ninjas with a grudge against Shaolin Temple, and a Japanese kung fu disciple (with the extremely Japanese name of Wang Chi Chun or some such) who comes to their aid. Basically the whole mess is pretty uninspired fu battles and hijinks. The hero has absolutely no character at all. However the movie has three things going for it, in descending order of interest. 1) Gay Western Hare Krishnas wanna-bes looking to gain kung fu enlightenment at Shaolin 2) The Black Monk of Harlem, a buddy of the Shaolin Abbot, who does some serious butt-kicking, and speaks in a HK film dubber's approximation of 1970's jive that is unintentionally hilarious 3) The Ninja Water Spider Attack Team. One of the greatest things I've ever seen in a fu movie. Basically big spider floats that the ninjas paddle around on like 4-yr-olds in a kiddy pool, and occasionally fly.Worth a viewing for the Black Monk and the Water Spiders, nothing else going on.