k-daniels1990 Porkchop is an uninspired, flaccid mess and i want my money back!. I love monster movies but there is nothing positive to say about this awful thing. Horrendous acting and poor cinematography are only the tip of the iceberg. If the dialogue wasn't totally improvised on the spot then the writing may be the worst I have ever experienced. If you like parody, comedy or horror, AVOID the hell out of this embarrassing pile of pig poo. I would give it NO stars if IMDb would let me. Stick with Motel Hell or Slaughterhouse if you want a killer in a pig mask. Or try Madison County, a movie that is pretty awful but is still miles ahead of Porkchop. Much of the plot and style are ripped off from other, more talented movie makers, only filtered through the minds of those with no talent, originality or creativity. Reading the few positive reviews above, I must assume they were written by cast and crew members. This is the only explanation I can imagine that would result in any one NOT trashing this putrid excuse for entertainment. I would normally say nice try to the film makers, but having viewed their " work " I'm guessing they either didn't try or they are untalented to the extreme. Just because you CAN make a movie doesn't mean you SHOULD. Stick with your day jobs, folks and leave the art to the artists!!

Woodyanders We all know the drill: A group of young campers venture into the remote wilderness for a wild weekend of sex, booze, and all-out inane merriment at an abandoned summer camp. Naturally, a husky and ferocious chainsaw-wielding bloodthirsty maniac called Porkchop (burly hulk Rob Cobb) starts bumping folks off left and right in assorted grisly ways. Director/co-writer Eamon Hardiman concocts an affectionate and entertaining trashy homage to lowdown scuzzy 80's slice'n'dice fare that covers all the essential winningly tacky body count bases: There's a decent smattering of tasty gratuitous female nudity, a handy helping of in-your-face graphic and unflinching gore, funny and colorful stereotypical redneck secondary characters, the young adults clearly mark themselves for doom by swilling hooch, skinny-dipping, and engaging in premarital copulation, an amusing sense of raunchy humor, and several inventively nasty murder set pieces (a brutal anal rape by chainsaw rates as the definite stomach-turning highlight). The game cast has a ball with the blithely rubbishy material: Ruby Larocca as the snarky Deborah, Charles Sullivan as the amiable Mike, Chris Woodall as hapless bumbling nerd Richie, Erin Russ as the sweet and perky Rachel, Brandon Raker as crude and annoying British slob Ian, Sierra Ferrell as slutty bimbo cheerleader Courtney, Brian Gunnoe as hearty hick Burt Fleming, and Hardiman as effeminate hillbilly Teddy. Richie's pesky robot creation Elron (voiced to irritating nasal perfection by Dan Hicks) provides hilariously obnoxious comic relief. The generic noodling synthesizer score hits the quivery spot. The copious witty 80's references further add to the movie's campy charm. The plain cinematography gives the picture an appropriately static shot-on-video nickel'n'dime indie 80's look. Good scroungy fun.

lovecraft231 "Partying, mayhem and gore...80's style." So says the tag-line for "Porkchop", a micro-budget throwback to "kids are killed in the woods" slasher movies from the 80's. Maybe it's because I recently watched "Rabies", which managed to do something new with the backwoods slasher movie, but I found this to be a pretty bad movie all around.The plot goes like this: Deborah (Ruby Larocca), Mike (Charles Sullivan), Chris (Chris Woodall), Ian (Brandon Raker), Courtney (Sierra Ferrell) and Rachael (Erin Russ) go to the woods for sex, drugs and good times. Also, they bring around a goofy talking robot named Elron (voiced by Danny Hicks of "Evil Dead II", "Darkman" and "The Intruder" fame.) Long story short, there's a hulking man wearing a pig-head mask known as Porkchop (Robert Cobb) that has murder on his mind, and you know what goes on from there.While the killer is pretty bad-ass and the kills are gory as hell and usually inventive (with the gore and make-up effects actually looking pretty great), "Porkchop" is pretty bad. In some ways, it kind of reminded me of Drew Rosas' "Blood Junkie" in the fact that it wants so much to be like the slasher movies from the 80's, what with it's 80's fashions, bad hair, bad pop music, etc. However, "Blood Junkie" at least made me laugh. This movie was just annoying, with all of the jokes being deliberately bad. My problem with this is the fact that I hate it when a movie acknowledges that it isn't exactly a good movie, and just goes "f#@k it." Deliberately making bad jokes doesn't excuse anything. In fact, that just makes it worse.In the process, everything else about the movie is just poorly done. Eamon Hardiman directs the whole thing as if it were his first motion picture, and that would be forgiving if it was (it's not.) The entire stretch before the kills start to occur is just a pain to sit through, with actors mugging for the camera and doing next to nothing interesting. Speaking of which, it takes way too long for the kills to start to happen, and by the time they do, you'll hardly be awake. This is a movie that, as I said, wants so much to capture the vibe of 80's slasher movies, but it lacks the most important element: fun. There's hardly anything in this movie that's remotely enjoyable. It just feels like a group of people goofing off with their home video equipment in the woods, and not like the tongue-in-cheek slasher fun-fest it wants to be.If you want to see a fun, 80's style slasher movie-then go watch an actual 80's slasher movie like "The Prowler." It'd be a much better choice than watching a bunch of people play pretend for 92 minutes.

Flow This is the first movie that i grade with 1! 1! And only because there is no 0! Now start reading and read carefully! Look at a trailer, see how this rubbish thing is filmed, and if by any chance whatsoever, dunno how but you still want to check it out, here are the reasons why NOT to do so:1. The camera work: if the trailer looks good, then it is edited like nothing i have ever seen in my life. Rarely does one get to film with a phone and call it "art" but here, this guy got lucky! Really lucky! 2. The acting: there is NONE! That is not acting, they could have read from the scrip directly and it would have looked better. 3. Gore: that is gore? If any of you is truly afraid of ketchup and some expired paint, OK, maybe you will get a kick from this. 4. Dialogue: i can't even begin to describe it.Trust me, i could go on forever, seriously, first, CHECK THE TRAILER OUT, look how it is filmed, I DO BELIEVE IN INDEPENDENT MOVIES, especially horror, BUT IT IS JUST NOT THE CASE! Watch an old Scooby Doo episode, by far, faaaar better than this! Dear God i pray that you read my comment first and not the other one, probably posted by someone who was involved in the making of the "movie"!