keelhaul-80856
I got this movie as part of a "Horror" pack at the grocery store. This is the worst horror movie, but the greatest comedy of all time. It is one of those movies that could have been made in your high school film class, only the high school version would be better. It has one or two decent actors in it, but they can't save a film like this! Basically, a skeleton rides a horse through the woods and attacks people for no reason(though possibly he wants revenge or to protect the burial grounds?) and wears a Wal-Mart costume and trash bag. He carries a broadsword, which apparently Native Americans bought from Crusaders in Europe. The Special Forces team sent to stop him looks more like the front of an L.L. Bean or Abercrombie catalog. Apparently, SEALS and Delta Force use 100 lbs. cheerleaders with long hair for these dangerous missions. The Indian skeleton man warps around with bad graphics, and then ends up killing poor guys in a power station. Finally, they blow him up, even though thousands of bullets couldn't stop him nor explosives for the whole film. He even brought down a chopper with a bow and arrow!!! LOL. This is one of those movies you love to hate. It makes me laugh every time I even think of it. The budget must have been about $50 and a free meal at Denny's to sign on for this project.
isaged
I'm a fan of what might be called lesser horror movies. Generally I review them when I believe that other reviewers have been unjust to them. However, although I enjoyed Skeleton Man, it has some problems. The biggest one is that its main episode, involving the skeleton man's inconsiderate treatment of the eight special forces members, is accompanied by briefer "supporting" episodes that just don't support what's going on in the main one. For instance, how does a rather nasty Native American find black garbage bags to wear, and also find an invulnerable horse? Another is that these experienced military people discover fairly soon that the skeleton man is invulnerable to bullets, yet keep firing at him/it. Firing so much and so often that I'm surprised that they could possibly have packed in all that ammo. Finally, what possible successful effect could the fiery conclusion have had?That said, some of the we-have-been-warned Violence scenes are excellent, the mountain scenery is lovely, and enough gore is spilled to fertilize these woods for some time to come. The explosions are generally fine, and
despite what some reviews have written
the acting was acceptable
haroen-23-667564
The plot of this movie is so thin it's easily summarized as follows: "I'm on a horse in the jungle, taking your scalps." And why is he wearing a binbag as cape?The lack of dialogue is complimented quite finely by the usage of stock footage of eagles, and stock footage of some trees in general. The depth of the characters of the elite team sent out to rescue and salvage - salvage what? some dead archeologists? - is beautifully illustrated in the 53rd minute of the movie. The filmwork isn't that bad though. In general: Awful. For the love of normal use of your eyes, do not watch this movie.Also: we we're waiting for some-one to go: "boo".
lixiousness
I loved it! I mean, hippies as soldiers: brilliant! Covert indeed.Seriously, this movie had just enough explosions, gore and cheesy plot to satisfy any B horror movie fanatic.My only complaints are that the most badass and hottest chick died first, while the prissy girly girl lived, and we never got to see skeletor's bones scatter everywhere, camera focusing on that one bone that ends up growing into a skeletor tree foreshadowing certain doom for any imbecile who chooses to hike the Appalachians in the future.Also, I couldn't stop from shouting: "use your gravity gun" when the dude was trying to pull out the giant plug toward the end. That, and the lack of crowbars around the wooden crates made me antsy.Great flic! So lucky it was cheap so I can watch it over and over.
AD
