Red-125 Small Time Crooks (2000) was written and directed by Woody Allen. Allen plays Ray, a small time crook, who has served time for robbery, but has not learned his lesson. He formulates another illegal scheme. He tells his long-suffering wife Frenchy, (Tracey Ullman) that this time he knows his plan will work. He and his friends are going to tunnel under a bank and steal the money at night. (Ray is a good safe-cracker, whatever his other inadequacies may be.)Allen surrounds himself with other crooks, all as inept as he is. They argue about whether he was called "The Brain" in prison because he was smart, or whether the other prisoners were being sarcastic. (We never find out, but I suspect the latter explanation.) Naturally, the plan goes hopelessly awry. However, as a cover for their activity in the building, Frenchy has started a cookie business. In a typically New York kind of response, people love her cookies. They demand her cookies. They will wait endlessly in line for her cookies. Almost instantaneously, the crooks own a multi-million dollar legitimate bakery business.The plot thickens when Frenchy decides that her life style--and her life--need to be commensurate with her new-found wealth. She hires art dealer and cad David (Hugh Grant) to teach her how to be a sophisticated socialite. Naturally, complications ensure. From there, the plot moves forward in predictable--but humorous--ways.Watch for Elaine May as Frenchy's very dim cousin May. (I've noticed this about Woody Allen. In most movies, someone may be perceived as slow in the beginning of the film, but by the end, they have demonstrated true wisdom. Not so for Woody. Start slow, end slow.) The ultimate New Yorker, Elaine Stritch, has a cameo role as socialite Chi Chi Potter. Anyone could have played the part. I think Woody just wanted to have Stritch in the movie to tell us, "This is New York, and nowhere else."We saw the film on DVD, and it worked well on the small screen. This is pretty lightweight Woody, but for me, any Woody is worth seeing. So, if you have an hour and a half to spare, check out "Small Time Crooks."Personal note: Life imitates art. My cousin became a millionaire by franchising chocolate chip cookies. However, he didn't arrive at that career by starting out to rob a bank.

Rockwell_Cronenberg One of the best things about Woody Allen is his ability to take wildly unique premises and story structures and somehow make them all feel intrinsically his. When you are watching a Woody Allen movie, you know it, no mistake. That wasn't the case at all with Small Time Crooks. There have been times in his career where I've felt like he didn't even know what he was doing but he didn't want to stop working so he just shoveled something out (Whatever Works) but so far I think this is the worst example of that. For one, it doesn't feel like a Woody Allen film, but worse is the fact that it doesn't even feel like it's the same film for the whole thing.It jumps all over from one recycled plot line to the next, all mashed up with a bunch of characters that I couldn't have wanted to spend less time with if I tried. These ignorant, selfish, moronic people had none of the charm or enjoyability of most Woody characters, the ones that somehow feel fresh and entertaining and true but also like I've known them my whole life. These were just miserable dimwits acted out by some of the laziest performances I've seen in his films. It looked like he was sleepwalking through the whole thing and honestly I wish I had been too. Maybe then I could just forget this piece of garbage.

FokszMulder Weak movie, yet it is worth watching. Tracey Ullman is very hot, thanks to some magician working on the set. Tha short skirts and tight outfits, wow. I had to check who the actress is and was surprised that it was Tracey Ullman...wow. Long legs and all, she is the only good thing about this movie. Allen has lost it I think, he is just riding his old fame's waves and nothing else. Amazing that famous starts are lining up to be in his movies. He is one of the luckiest men giving practically nothing, yet people watch him and wan to be around him. Anyway, watch it ans see if you share my opinion about this one, enjoy Tracey!

writers_reign I have always thought of Woody Allen as someone with his own particular take on things so it's strange - for me - to find him straying into Donald E. Westlake territory, albeit the comedy crooks side of Westlake as exemplified by Dortmunder, Kelp, etc, rather than his more serious side. Having said that Woody proves adept at homage though he soon more or less abandons his associates to concentrate on a satire of nouveau riche which has been done a million times before and often better. Nevertheless it's a rare Woody Allen film that doesn't offer some rewards - often in the shape of one-liners, sometimes (Manhattan) in the use of 'standards' on the soundtrack. This is, on balance, minor Allen but still has its moments.