ecanarensis I had absolutely no idea what this movie was going to be...a friend rented it & just popped it in. I'm pretty sure that for most of the movie, I looked just like the audience in "The Producers" right when the cast starts singing "Springtime for Hitler." It was like watching a train wreck. And not a real well done train wreck.The acting was pathetic, tho it fit well with the script. One really awful scene comes when the girl goes to her first ob/gyn appointment...it does not go well. The doc ends up wallowing on the floor, blood spurting from the stumps of his bitten-off fingers, wailing "Vagina dentata!" over & over & over (Latin basically for "vagina with teeth). The characters are despicable, but at least they have a lousy script. However, I am actually glad that I was too stunned to lurch off the couch & rip the thing out of the player; I was still sitting there clutching my head when the final credits started...and thus got introduced to the music of Chuck Prophet. The song over the final creds is "You Did (Who put the bomp in bomp shooby dooby bomp)"...don't hate it because of the title. So do yourself a favor; skip the flick & catch some Chuck Prophet.

Wuchak RELEASED IN 2007 and written & directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein, "Teeth" concerns a teen girl (Jess Weixler) who leads an abstinence group at her church. While dating she horrifyingly learns of a unique feature. Meanwhile, her wicked stepbrother is getting out of hand (John Hensley). Hale Appleman and Ashley Springer play guys interested in her while Josh Pais appears as her gynecologist. Lenny von Dohlen is on hand as the stepfather. This is a coming-of-age movie mixed with horror, akin to "The Rage: Carrie 2" (1999). It's professionally-made and dramatically compelling with some good stuff on the soundtrack, like "You Did" by Chuck Prophet (which runs during the credits) and a few snippets of Immortal Dominion songs. Gore fans should be happy, but IMHO they shoulda toned it down because few viewers want to see someone's Captain Winky cut off. If you can handle that, there's a lot of good here, even greatness. The movie reflects reality despite some surreal elements, amusing black humor and the horrific mythos. Examples of what I mean include: The two (step) siblings who take contrary paths, father/son rivalry, the moral response to sexual relations (save yourself for marriage or indulge?), the positive (or negative) influence of religion and the ritualistic/group-think spirit thereof, not to mention turning a supposedly negative quality into a positive.Weixler kicks axx in the challenging role of the protagonist and is just an all-around beautiful woman. Cutie Laila Liliana Garro (as Julia Garro) has a peripheral role. THE FILM RUNS 1 hours & 34 minutes and was shot in Austin, Texas. GRADE: A-

SnoopyStyle In the shadow of the nuclear power plant, Dawn O'Keefe (Jess Weixler) grew up with a hidden mutation. During childhood, her mutation bit her stepbrother Brad's finger. In school, Dawn leads an abstinence group. She falls for Tobey but she is restricted by her curse. She joins him at the local swimming hole. He forces himself on her leading to dire incident.This surprised me with a couple of good laughs. It's mostly derived from Jess Weixlet's dead-pan serious performance. She's great and pulls off the ridiculous material. There are a few shocking scenes like the gynecologist scene and the dismembered members that deliver uncomfortable fun. This world could add a little more to the build. She could use a female best friend and more time with her mother.

GL84 After a series of strange incidents with her boyfriend and other men around town, a teen believes she has contracted a strange, mythical condition in her body and tries to find a way to keep it under control until she can live a normal life.This one was quite possibly one of the worst horror efforts released. Among the many flaws here is the film's rather challenging nature here, mainly because it's not a horror film and is instead a drama that includes a theme relevant to horror films and men in general. While the act present in the film is quite unnerving, the central premise of being unsure of what to do with it means that instead of pressing it to an advantage and being quite hesitant doesn't equate to an enjoyable time. Since this is coupled together with its intense religious dogma which presents her as a chaste virgin obsessed with the ideal of purity alongside her similarly-minded friends, this leaves the film so dreary, dull and lagging that nothing comes along to give the film any kind of momentum or energy not delving into any kind of action that really makes the condition something to be feared beyond the initial premise. Since each of the encounters come about due to almost raping her yet at the point where it was consensual nothing happened and she openly enjoyed and welcomed it takes out so much of the steam here that it really undoes the argument completely by saying she needs to just let go of her standards and want it to happen to let it occur without incident. This kind of situation really could've had more of an impact happening to a more sexually-active woman and make it more of a truly cautionary take here than what this one offers as it seems to say they deserve it simply for going for a virgin who just happens to have that condition. There's also the fact that this one doesn't have any real point in being labeled as a comedy since the dark, black humor here supposedly comes from seeing more get castrated which results in the only real funny material here as there's no jokes or humorous gags here yet nothing about any of these situations is in the slightest part funny and really lowers this one even further. While these issues hurt this one to the point of not even being a worthwhile horror film, the only positives here come from the graphic aftermath of each castration with the remains of each sniping shown in graphic, unflinching fashion with the spurting stump and disgraced unit all on full display here which leaves this one with rather squirm-inducing scenes in the water-fall and in the bedroom with her boyfriend, and the temptation of the sleazy step-brother closes that storyline nicely. Still, it's more the concept of these scenes meaning the most and the flaws here really sticking out.Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Nudity, Graphic Language, Strong Sexual Content and themes and a Rape.