gridoon
"The Dallas Connection" delivers the expected breasts, travelogue footage, explosions, and even some legitimate plot twists, but it has too many drawn-out non-action sequences, probably the result of Andy Sidaris & son Christian stretching the film to make it reach the 90-minute mark. As the female lead, Sam Phillips is a poor replacement for Suzi Simpson (not to mention Dona Speir). Suzi did a very good job in "Enemy Gold", and I wonder why Sidaris didn't cast her again. Sam is portrayed as useless in the action scenes. She is easily controlled by an unarmed man, while in "Enemy Gold" Suzi easily disarmed an armed man in about 3 seconds - see the difference? Julie K. Smith and Wendy Hamilton (a stunningly beautiful woman) do about 95% stripping and 5% action. Julie Strain is fine as long as she doesn't have to speak - when she does, the illusion is ruined. In terms of the female action quotient, this is probably Sidaris' most disappointing film since "Malibu Express". (**)
Skragg
Spoilers. I have a complaint about these Andy Sidaris films, that has nothing to do with things like low budgets or hiring ex- porn stars as actors (pretty meaningless complaints to me). I mentioned this about the Sidaris film "Seven", but they always seem to end the same way (the three or so that I've seen)- the "villainess" is always shot or blown up by the "heroine". Which sounds understandable, but it's often done in a way that looks pretty forced, as though it's the ONLY way it could be done, as opposed to say, the male hero doing this to the villainess. This has been done in so many other stories, too, that it's a real adventure story cliché, even though I never seem to see it made fun of as one, even in the "Austin Powers" type comedies. This one also uses, loosely, the "Pussy Galore" idea (another cliché, of course, good or bad), because the two "evil" women end up being on the side of the good guys (only pretending to try to kill the two men), then killing the woman they pretended to work for. I just think a better thing would have been for the "Scorpion" and "Cobra" characters to really BE killers, to really try to kill the two men (during those over-the-top seduction scenes) and to have a big "showdown" scene with the men themselves. That would have been "over-the-top" in a more unusual way, almost like something out of some of those "Destroyer" books. It might sound strange to half-way "analyze" Andy Sidaris movies, but again, they rehash some ideas the same way other movies do. And that's just it - there's almost no mistake low-budget action films make that big budget ones don't ALSO make.
hyperspheroid
This flic will be remembered as a classic for the some of the funniest dead-pan dialogue and gratuitous shots of T&A to fill one of the most absurd plots since "Gymkata". From the asteroid showers, to the extended shower scenes, to the blow-up doll decoy, to the awkward reactions to the horse race which obviously isn't taking place, this movie never stops entertaining.It stays perfectly on the line between over-the-top farce while appearing to try to be a "real" film, in true Ed Wood fashion. It's amusing to read the comments of disappointed viewers who attempted to derive substance from this B-movie. This is one to watch late night on cable, preferably with some good friends and a keg.
pumaye
The usual action flesh fantasy for male viewers, this Sidaris flick is not as good as a few others, but the girls looks great (there is my favorite Playmate, Wendy Hamilton, that doesn't show as much as I hope, but it's still a threat; there is also Julie Strain's Black Widow, with an opening scene Basic Instinct style that it's really good) and the action is good enough to let the 90 minutes of the movie pass without any boring moment. The plot is contrived, but it's part of the show: for a Sidaris movie it's a good enough one
AD
