O2D It's bad enough that everything they say and do is dumb but it's even worse that the movie is just slow moving and boring. We literally see them have tea 3 times in the first 30 minutes and that's the action. Watch the first 10 minutes and the last 10.

ShadeGrenade I used to have a schoolfriend named Eddie Donnelly whose favourite programme was 'The Tomorrow People'. After viewing the latest episode, he, along with his sister Esther and younger brother Graham, would retreat to the spare room to continue the adventure. His 'jaunting' belts were bits of string. 'TIM' the super intelligent computer was a broken cassette player, flex twisted round the light fitting. His mother's hairdryer became a ray-gun. 'The Galactric Trig' was the ironing cupboard at the top of the stairs. Eddie would, naturally, be John, the group's leader. A typical session went as follows: "We have a new assignment!", Eddie would say: "We must go to the planet Carlgor-5!". Touching their bits of string, the trio then ran downstairs to the kitchen, and out the back door into the weed-infested garden. This was Eddie's idea of Carlgor-5. As smoke wafted over the fence from next door's bonfire, he said: "We must be careful. The natives here are savage! Come, let us search for the legendary Crystal of Kronos which has mind-bending properties! If the Thargs get to it first, the universe is theirs!". At which point, the chimes of a Mr.Whippy ice cream van could be heard, and Eddie was left to finish the quest alone while the others went to nag their mother for money for cornets.I was reminded of Eddie and his intergalactic exploits while watching 'The Terrornauts' recently. It is a cheap sci-fi movie made by Amicus, the only British studio to rival Hammer in the '60's. After enjoying success with movies based on 'Dr.Who', Milton Subotsky and Max J.Rosenberg purchased the rights to a novel called 'The Wailing Asteroid' by Murray Leinster, hiring sci-fi author John Brunner to adapt it. It opens at the headquarters of 'Project Star Talk', whose purpose is to search for extra-terrestrial beings with a radio telescope. Dr.Joe Burke ( Simon Oates ), the head of the project, is told by his frosty superior ( Max Adrian ) that the funding will soon be stopped unless results are obtained soon. Well, wouldn't you know it, suddenly signals are being picked up from the heavens. A space ship uses a tractor beam to tear the project building out of the ground and transport it through space to an an alien vessel parked on an asteroid. As well as Burke, there is also his girlfriend Sandy ( Zena Marshall, 'Miss Taro' in 'Dr.No' ), another scientist played by Stanley Meadows, and - if you can believe this - Charles Hawtrey as an accountant named Joshua Yellowlees and Patricia Hayes as tea lady Mrs.Jones! The group are subjected to intelligence tests by a robot looking like a cross between a Dalek and an upturned ice cream cone. Passing the tests, they discover the real reason for their abduction - the Earth is about to be attacked by an alien race and only they can stop them! I enjoyed this far more than I thought I would. The cast helps, obviously. Oates went on to play 'Dr.John Ridge' in the B.B.C.'s sci-fi drama 'Doomwatch', and in a small role is Richard Carpenter, later to create the classic children's shows 'Catweazle' and 'The Ghosts Of Motley Hall'. The whole thing has an amateur look to it which I found endearing. The Terrornauts themselves are green-skinned creatures whose sense of gallantry is non-existent - as soon as Sandy arrives amongst them, they try and sacrifice her! The alien space fleet looks like a lot of Zoom ice lollies flying about in space. Having sat through umpteen mega-buck Hollywood bores, this unpretentious romp is the ideal antidote. It was directed by Monthgomery Tully, also responsible for another guilty sci-fi pleasure - 'Battle Beneath The Earth' ( 1967 ) in which the Red Chinese attempt to conquer America by means of underground tunnels full of atomic bombs.I don't know if Eddie ever saw this on television but I reckon he and his brother and sister could have pulled off a recreation with remarkable ease.

bkoganbing The Terrornauts which looks like it was shot on a budget for a real and not Walt Disney high school musical, is one of the quirkiest science fiction films ever made. That's in fact part of its charm, a Star Wars type budget would have killed this film.Three British scientists who are on a project trying to communicate with other intelligent life forms out in space are about to get the plug pulled from their funding. They've got three months to get some results from their radio telescope or the foundation that funds them will cut them off.One night working late, the scientists, Zena Marshall, Simon Oates and Stanley Meadows actually achieve a breakthrough. It's while suffering the presence of auditor Charles Hawtrey from their benefactor foundation. Even the lunch lady Patricia Jones is around. But the scientists get more than they bargain for when they're teleported to an asteroid where some civilization has left quite a space station outpost to contemplate.The space station was put there by some civilization long extinct like the Krells to guard against an invader whose got some space ships heading for earth right now. The premise is similar to the one for The Last Starfighter. What makes The Terrornauts fun and not some total Ed Wood type disaster is the presence of Charles Hawtrey and Patricia Jones. They're of absolutely no help whatsoever to the scientists except both as witnesses to what transpired and for comic relief to the audience. Hawtrey was on hiatus from the British Carry on series and in his droll fey way keeps the proceedings hysterical. He's aided and abetted by Jones who even though she's bewildered by what's going on, keeps a nice even keel about everything. They play beautifully against the oh so serious scientists.The Terrornauts is a real sleeper of a science fiction film, a camp delight something Ed Wood would have liked to have had credited to his name. But just imagine if the scientists had not been teleported and it was just Hawtrey and Jones. Where would the world be then?

Great-Cthulhu Yesterday, I made myself ready to stare in the face of The Terror(nauts). But, no terror there. Anyway, this movie is a lot of fun - if your can accept the fact that it's kinda outdated, as far as the "Special Effects" are concerned. I won't give away the plot - shallow as it is - but the movie does not live from the plot anyway, it's charm comes from the characters, especially from those in the background like Mr. Yellowlees, Mrs. Jones and even Doc Shore. Not taking the movie too seriously is the key to enjoy it - the makers of this space flick didn't either, I think. And for fans of the high class B-Movie SciFi-thingy: Yes, they have star-ships, funny robots, bathing cap wearing aliens, ridiculous stuff to plug into your head and strange sound effects. The only thing I thought was rather stupid is the climax of the movie. To destroy the Enemy (no other name given), they blast them with missiles. And that's it, there is no Plan B, just go on shooting, hoping it will be fine - if we miss them, alas, so long, we only have those missile-pods.Otherwise, The Terrornauts features no terror indeed, but you can laugh, have fun (if you can have fun with this kind of movies) and behold one of the greatest special effects in history: An explosion which throws up a black cloud of smoke rises not in front of one of the twin moons of the alien planet - no Sir, it rises behind it. Now, that's way cool. I wondered myself, what they where doing (I will not state they were thinking anything)? Paste the moons on the camera lens? Maybe nobody will notice? Who cares.