zardoz-13 Director Jeff Kanew's crime comedy "Tough Guys" gave Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas the big-send-off. This constituted their final film together as co-stars. Previously, these two Hollywood titans had appeared in "I Walk Alone" (1948), "Gunfight at the O.K. Corral" (1957), "The Devil's Disciple" (1959), "The List of Adrian Messenger" (1963), "Seven Days in May" (1964), and the made-for-television thriller "Victory at Entebbe" (1976). Comparatively, "Tough Guys" surpasses "The List of Adrian Messenger" and "Victory at Entebbe." Lancaster and Douglas were cast as two old-time convicts who spent 30 years in prison for robbing a train and ultimately received parole. Life has changed substantially for 72 year old Harry Doyle and 67 year old Archie Long. They have been cell mates for three decades, and they weren't exactly ecstatic about that. Now that they are on the outside, they find it increasingly difficult to fit into society. Harry is sent to a retirement home in a large building where a physically fit man bullies the oldsters with a smile. Harry spearheads an uprising to obtain better food for the residents. Meanwhile, physically fit Archie hits Los Angeles running and survives things until he cannot take it anymore. He moves in with a gym manager, but her sexual demands and the clownish outfits that he must wear turn him off. At the same time that our heroes are struggling to blend into society, the cop who arrested them, Deke Yablonski (Charles Durning of "Sharky's Machine"), suspects that 30 years behind bars hasn't rehabilitated them. Sadly, Yablonski is right. The old guys turn back to a life of crime, and they hijack the same train that they robbed back in the old days. Lancaster and Douglas still have some charisma, especially Douglas who moons Yablonski from the top of a moving train during the finale. Happily, Jeff Kanew doesn't wear out his welcome, and reportedly the movie made enough to break even and get the two faded stars about a million each in their pockets. The scene in the old folks home when Harry leads the protest against the inadequate food is reminiscent of "White Heat." Eli Wallach has supporting role as a bespectacled hit-man who has waited 30 years to carry out a contract on our protagonists. Of course, if you're as big a fan of Lancaster and Douglas as I am, you will have to see it. . One of the reoccurring gags appears to have been appropriated from William Goldman's "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" screenplay about rules in a fight. Mind you, "Tough Guys" isn't great, but it was fine to see these two kicking butt and taking names.

Jonathon Dabell The teaming of stars Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas is really the only reason to watch this thin comedy caper. United on screen for the sixth time (and, let it be noted, their first movie work together since Seven Days in May in 1964), Lancaster and Douglas breeze through this nonsensical fluff with tongues firmly in cheek. You will never see Tough Guys on anybody's top-100 list, but it is a likable time filler that doesn't particularly tax the patience.Train robbers Archie Long (Douglas) and Harry Doyle (Lancaster) are released from jail after serving thirty years for their misdemeanours. They find themselves under the eye of a young parole officer called Richie Evans (Dana Carvey) who is an enthusiastic expert on their previous crimes. His job is to integrate them back into society but it is no easy task as much has changed during their time inside. Harry tries to settle into a quiet life in a retirement home, where he becomes enamoured with an old lady friend named Belle (Alexis Smith). Archie, meanwhile, takes up a job in an ice cream parlour and tries in his spare time to adapt to a party playboy lifestyle, even getting himself a sexy young mistress in the shape of Skye Foster (Darlanne Fluegel). Neither man seems truly happy playing up to a cultural ideal that doesn't really fit their personality…. and slowly but surely their minds start turning to crime, just like old times. They even find themselves hunted by a short-sighted contract killer named Leon B. Little (Eli Wallach), still desperate to bump them off to fulfil a contract he was entrusted with more than thirty years previously. Eventually, Archie and Harry decide to complete the train robbery for which they were captured all those years ago. "That's crazy" declares the train driver as his train is hijacked, "no-one robs trains any more". But rob it they do, just for the sheer thrill of it, hurtling full steam for the Mexican border with old law adversary Deke Yablonski (Charles Durning) hot on their trail.Tough Guys never amounts to anything more than harmless fun. Most of the jokes relate to the cultural alienation that greets Archie and Harry after so long cut off from the real world. They are bewildered and a little disappointed to find their old neighbourhood populated by punks with attitude; new technology, new fashion; louder music; permissive attitudes. Worst of all, their former gang members have grown old and tired, mere shells of their previous selves. The story itself doesn't hang together believably, but this barely matters - even the director and stars don't seem particularly bothered about the finer points of narrative and character logic. It's all just meant as a little nostalgic fun. And, while Tough Guys is never better nor worse than average, it remains an undemanding-to-watch slice of fun for those in the mood for something light and easy.

jflynn1-1 Watched it again on late night TV. Still funny after all these years. You could still see the occasional flashes of the old Kirk D, chilling look etc and Burt still has the movement of an athlete even at age 73, and his trade mark mirthless laugh but it was Eli Wallach who stole the film, absolutely brilliant. I think his character was stolen by the writers of a BBC TV comedy called "Last of the Summer Wine" which has a very short sighted character called Eli. So many scenes were so good that it makes it difficult to pick the best but I think the scene outside the old folks home is excellent when Leon B. Little picks himself up using the Zimmer frame, cruel but funny.The ending was a bit of an anticlimax (same comment applies to "The Blues Brothers".

Benjamin Wolfe Two of my favorite icon bad boys, are 'on' for the last 'ride' of their lives. I'm sure that while this one won't bring any awards to these two gentlemen, it is one heck of a good time!! The theme song for the movie "They Don't Make Them Like They Used To" Performed by Kenny Rogers was Nominated for a Golden Globe, however. The aging train robbers, it's so old school that it's totally cool. They argue and challenge each other's decisions, they chase women, they make each other laugh and on-top of that those who appreciate these two fine actors laugh a lot more. I have to say as well, that I enjoyed Dana Carvey (Richie)in this, more than anything else I have ever seen him in. With the other classic actor crowd, you have a who's 'who' of talent that spanned decades before this movie was ever made. As a matter of fact when some of these people were in their hay day, the golden age of Hollywood, the director, "Jeff Kanew" was just a cute little baby then. But I must say, that this director did a terrific job with these professional old schoolers and I'm glad it was him. These 'Tough guys' got it all along with a few bad guys and one old near-sighted hit-man, (played by: Eli Wallach) that has had a contract on these two for over thirty years and he is itching to collect on it. Cause he never 'welches' on a contract. Even when the one who paid for the hit-contract, is dead...for three decades now.With an array of classic songs and some current in the mid-eighties rock and alternative stuff, the mix of style and generations colliding together make the communications and miss-understandings hilarious! The street punk-tough guys never knew what hit them, when these two 'classic' operators got-out-the-joint!! New ghetto, old rules. And if it weren't rough enough that these two 'grampa's' (the gang member referred to Archie and Harry as) knocked these guys confidence down and gave them a little pain to remember them by, leave and then the hit-man who's hot on their trail suddenly shows up and asks the gang members where the two old guys went? The members of the gang remember the 'two' tough guys and think, this one guy is looking for both of them!! They panic! Break and run! After they scattered into their holes, the old hit-man seeing their radio blaring on the fence, shouts "Hey! You forgot your jukebox!!" Then Blasts 'it' (The Boombox-Ghetto Blaster) to bits, with a double barrel Winchester shotgun. Pieces everywhere and then silence, the hit-man squints looking through his 'goggles' and complains about noise pollution. But hey! "Don't let the goggles fool ya, he's a 'Sharp shooter!" That scene is a modern day comedy, 'classic' that I loved from the moment the movie previews were showing the 'coming attractions'. This one really hits the satisfaction zone. I gave it an excellent rating because it is. The thing that offended me was Kirk (or Archie) 'dropped trow' showing his 'bum' when he was on top of the train making his get away, although it was funny and some of the women said, that was 'cute'. But that is just something I don't want to see. The two where sharp dressed men though!Seemingly I don't know too many of their generation that fully appreciate them in this 'role' because I believe that some think that they are lowering themselves by being common criminals. Or maybe it's all the cursing, but I say to those of the golden-age of Hollywood generation, they are not but common criminals, they are extraordinary-train robbers, looking for a final Heist. Charles Durning is a good ambitious detective on their trail, who comes of age to an 'understanding' in the final pursuit. They all (director and actors)'were right on the money' to coin an 'oldism' in putting together a well-aged action adventure hero/villain movie. I especially rolled in laughter at the end, when they crossed the Mexican Border. The 'Federallie's' Captain says: "We got you now." And then immediately Archie starts to 'School' him and his band, in the rules of the game. Then, right afterward, the Federally asks "Play by rules, what rules?"And Archie looks at Harry and then "BoOm!!" right in the jewels.--Uggh! Gentlemen, you made a fan and a believer out of a younger generation guy. cheers!