calvinnme Peter Sellers plays the most normal of the characters, even if he is a convicted felon, which is unusual for those of us familiar mostly with his later films. Sellers plays one of a group of guys behind bars who plan the perfect crime - they'll commit a jewel robbery and be back in prison before anybody notices. Their current guard is about to retire - as in BEFORE the heist, but they figure the same easy-going type will replace him. They are dead wrong. Instead, Lionel Jeffries was hysterically funny as the tough guard ready to shape up the prisoners. Favorite line: "SILENCE when you're talking to me!" And will it be possible when doing jumping jacks not to think of a particular scene in this film? How are they ever going to pull this off with this guard around? And there are other problems as well.Irene Handl was also wonderful as the mother of the none too bright prisoner Lenny, played by Bernard Cribbins. Mom is upset that he isn't living up to the family tradition of trying to escape from prison.   Of course, there's also Maurice Denham as the prison warden whose vegetable marrow is the subject of several double entendres, and Liz Fraser as Sellers' Monroe-esque girlfriend, and, well, the whole cast, every one of whom knows how play this comic style. I had never heard of the director, Robert Day.   See it if it comes your way.

ShadeGrenade Peter Sellers in the innocent days before Hollywood got hold of him. 'Two Way Stretch' is a bright and breezy British comedy typical of the period.He plays 'Dodger Lane', a Cockney crook imprisoned at H.M.P. Huntleigh, along with safe cracker 'Jelly' Knight ( David Lodge ) and pickpocket 'Lennie The Dip' Price ( Bernard Cribbins ). To say they are having a cushy time would be an understatement. A milkman delivers Gold Top each morning, along with food and newspapers, and their cell is, according to C.P.O. Jenkins ( George Woodbridge ) 'the best place in the nick to get a cup of tea'. They even have a cat, appropriately named 'Strangeways'. As the film opens, Dodger is recovering from a surfeit of sherry trifle. The lads are due for release in a few days' time. Then fellow crook Soapy Stevens ( Wilfrid Hyde-White ) turns up, posing as a vicar. He escaped imprisonment after their last job because he was the only one with a water-tight alibi. Stevens has learnt that a Sultan's diamonds to be conveyed through the area under army escort. Stevens wants Dodger and the lads to steal the consignment. Knowing that this time, they are the ones with the perfect alibi, they readily agree. There are just two minor problems - firstly, they need to break out of the nick, and secondly, Jenkins' replacement is none other than C.P.O. Sidney Crout ( Lionel Jeffries ), a hard-faced warder who regards all convicts as scum...John Warren ( who wrote a lot of Dick Emery's shows ) and Len Heath's script is full of wonderful comic ideas and lines, and directed with a sure touch by Robert Day. One has to wonder whether or not the B.B.C. sitcom 'Porridge' derived any inspiration from this, so closely does the latter resemble the former ( curiously, 1965's 'Rotten To The Core' starring Anton Rodgers also features crooks named 'Jelly' Knight and 'Lennie The Dip', though played by Kenneth Griffith and Dudley Sutton. Coincidence? Or was 'Core' originally planned as a sequel to 'Stretch?' ). Alongside the main cast are old favourites Liz Fraser, Irene Handl ( delightful as Lenny's toothless mum ), Warren Mitchell, Thorley Walters ( as a dimwitted army officer ), Mario Fabrizi, Maurice Denham, Beryl Reid, and Arthur Mullard. The latter gets one of the best lines. Visited by his wife and her baby, he asks how old it is. "Eight months!" comes the reply. Arthur looks chuffed at first, and then baffled: "But I've been inside for two years!".As was the case with most of the films he appeared in, Lionel Jeffries effortlessly steals the film. He is able to make you laugh by simply bellowing "On the double!" and that takes some doing.My only complaint is that the film does not really ( pardon the pun ) stretch Sellers as an actor. He is good as the lovable 'Dodger', but the role could have been played by anybody. One wonders whether Sid James could have done just as good a job.If 'Two Way Stretch' is not a part of your collection of classic British comedy films, you should put that right immediately.Funniest moment? Its got to be the scene in the yard where Crout is trying to exercise the convicts by making them jump up and down on the spot. He does not know that beneath him is part of a tunnel dug by Lennie and Jelly. He soon finds out - by falling into it!Happy New Year to you all, by the way.

ShootingShark A trio of convicts, Dodger, Jelly and Lennie, get involved in a diamond heist with the ultimate alibi - they plan to break out of prison, nick the swag, and then break back in. However, their plans are given a serious setback when the kindly chief guard retires and is replaced by the pathologically meticulous Sidney "Sour" Crout ...This is a classic British comedy, with a fantastic script by John Warren and Len Heath. The central idea, the characters and the dialogue are all brilliant, as is the wonderful cast. Sellers is tremendous, at that perfect point in his career where he was totally focused but not yet overcome with international stardom, and Jeffries gives the quintessential ramrod-back, no-nonsense, bark-at-everything, British comedy authority figure ("Silence when you're talking to me !!" he screams at a prisoner). White, Cribbins and Handl are especially terrific - there's a lovely visiting-day scene where Handl is berating Cribbins for bringing the family name into disrepute by not attempting to escape more often. The movie is full of wonderful banter ("Close the window Lennie, there's a bit of a George Raft coming in."), and each sequence builds beautifully into a wonderful comedy heist picture. This film, which I always consider a companion piece to the equally brilliant The Wrong Arm Of The Law, represents the very best of British film comedy, nestling somewhere between Ealing and Monty Python. Magic.

mcgoverngarrett This 1960 M. Smedley Aston production has everything lovers of classic British comedy could hope for.Sellers plays Dodger Lane,a lag who is having such a cushy time in the clink he couldn't care less whether he gets out or not.'Rooming' with two old chums they plan an unlikely heist of priceless diamonds while still inside. This is probably my favourite Sellers comedy of all time with marvellous performances from all concerned.Star of the show, hands down,has to be Lionel Jeffries as the hard-boiled prison officer 'Crouty' who is hell-bent on making the lads last few days of incarceration as miserable as possible. If you haven't seen this movie you're in for a treat.Forget Inspector Clouseau,this is the definitive Peter Sellers.