Theo Robertson There`s not much left to say involving the BBC`s much hyped comedy MAD ABOUT ALICE so perhaps I should have the last word . As everyone has mentioned the opening credits involve a song sung by someone who cannot sing and it`s no shock to discover the person singing it is an actress who can`t act either . In fact no one acting in this series seems to be able to act but that wasn`t what yanked my chain , what really annoyed me more than anything are the muppets in the audience who urinate themselves with laughter at the events on screen . For example in a scene Jamie Theakston ( I don`t know what his character`s name is but Theakston even has a problem playing himself ) is cutting his toenails and whoops of laughter are heard . A toe nail flys across the screen and the stench of urine comes wafting from the audience who are wetting themselves laughing I fail to see what`s funny and if I remember correctly the last series of I`M ALAN PARTRIDGE also suffered heavily from an intrusive laughter track . So stop drowning us with laughter Mr BBC comedy producers . We are not amused

davideo-2 STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All CostsIt would seem that Friday night comedy on the BBC is in a pretty dire state at the moment,after both series of the dreadful All About Me,the execrable Eyes Down and now this misfiring effort.The premise follows the exploits of the titular Alice (Amanda Holden) following her separation from husband Doug (Jamie Theakston) as they struggle to attempt to reconcile and bring up their young son.If AAM's opening song is rather schmaltzy and annoying,then Mad About Alice has an opening theme song that multiples those problems tenfold.The two leading stars (John Cleese and Prunella Scales they ain't) apparently seem to be churning out a chringe-worthy,just plain awful melody to even tackier caricatures of themselves prancing around in half real-life/caricatures of themselves,which will make you herald back to the days when Chuck Norris thought he could croon along to the tune of his Walker:Texas Ranger show's opening theme.As for the script (which so many other people seem to have been complaining about),I'll be as fair to it as I can and say that it does at least attempt to sound impressive,with lines like ("Mom,I've got a lot on my plate right now." "Jake,you're ten.The only thing you've got on your plate is fish fingers") here and there.The trouble is,it's a comedy series.....and it just isn't funny.None of it.Not even faintly.In fact,the more it tries and tries to be mind-blowingly hilarious,the more it just seems to end up sucking more co*k than both Elton John and Will Young combined.The final series aired tonight,with (possible spoiler) Alice finalising her divorce and celebrating the engagement of one of her friends.Somehow,I don't think we'll be following her adventures any further than that.Oh well,that's another season of Only Fools and Horses repeats on the way then.*

000Mark000 Oh Lord please help me! Since having watched this programme I haven't stopped laughing.Quite heavily trailed on the BBC prior to broadcast. Prime-time position in the Friday night schedule, sandwiched between 'EastEnders', the BBC's top-rated prime soap opera, and a re-run of 'Only Fools and Horses', one of the BBC's most highly rated and watched comedies of all time.Good Casting. Fantastic performances. Well-structured and clever jokes. Pinpoint comic timing. All of these were sadly lacking. Jamie Theakston- former TV presenter, bondage practitioner and prostitute frequenter (according to the tabloid press) stars along-side former bed-hopping trollop (according to the tabloid press, not me, I've met her and she seemed quite nice) Amanda Holden. The two exhibit all the chemistry of an empty test-tube in a vacuum at absolute zero! If you want to see something far more entertaining and funny starring these two, may I suggest.... err.... The Tabloid Press! The gags were weak and laboured (and when I say 'gags', I believe that was the intention but sadly not the reality!), and poor timing (That's just 'poor timing' and not 'poor comic timing', as there is nothing comic about this programme. The poor timing I refer to is that this programme would better have been broadcast during a period of major transmitter maintenance or a power blackout and not at peak time on a Friday evening.)Top Tip for whoever commissioned this programme - when commissioning a 'comedy' it is always a good idea to ensure that the said 'comedy' is funny. In the event that the said 'comedy' is not funny, it is by definition not a 'comedy' - q.v. 'Mad About Alice'.So why have I not stopped laughing since I watched this programme. Quite simple really. I never started!As an alternative to this programme, you may like to take a trip to your local DIY store, purchase a large tin of emulsion, apply liberally to a surface within your domicile residence, focus upon said surface until such time that the liberally applied emulsion coating is no longer in a liquid state.Absolutely no stars. 0/10. 0%. And for the benefit of our European viewers, nul points!

cremonese64 Not so long ago, the BBC were churning out Quality Sitcoms such as The Vicar of Dibley, One Foot in the Grave and even My Family. But now, they have been filling the 8:30 on Friday slot with increasingly dire Sitcoms. Now we have this garbage. The subject Matter ruins it from the get go. A Woman (Amanda Holden), separated from her Ex (Theakston), gets together with him for the sake of their kid. Where does it go from here? All we are supposed to want them to do is eventually get together. And then What? Its gone down a dead end. Its simply a rehash of the Ross/Rachel thing from Friends, and fleshed out into a Full show. Holden is Good Looking, but isn't a very good actress. Even the adverts began with Amanda Holden in...That's always a bad start with a new show. The programme is what makes it great, not the actors. Theakston is terrible, The kids are ridiculously annoying and There are the same terrible cliched jokes we've heard hundreds of times before on superior shows. Is there a studio audience? Or did they record the Hysteria Ward of a hospital? The direction is poor, too and its oh so sad to see John Gordon Sinclair strutting his stuff alongside lesser Thespians, and on a very poor stage. I doubt this rubbish will be recommisioned.