CLINTON NEEDS A JOB IN 2001, WE GET HIM ONE OF THE 20,000,000: Bill Clinton will be out of a job next year. We try to get him one of the 20 million jobs he's claimed to have "created". Part time, no benefits, low pay - a cherished spot in America's "new economy". THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON: There are huge swaths of the United States in which women can not exercise their right to choose an abortion because the right to life groups have scared all of the doctors who will perform that procedure out of the county/state/city/etc. It's the first time in the history of the Republic that terrorist tactics have worked to force a change (in fact, if not in law) in public policy. Michael goes to the Pro-life groups and surrenders the pro-choice movement, then "celebrates" the pro-life victory with a victory ticker tape parade. SUSSEX COUNTY, VA: One of the 10 fastest growing communities in the country, according to the US Census Bureau. But people aren't moving to Sussex County, prisoners are. The County's growth can almost entirely be attributed to two huge new prisons that have been constructed there in the past 10 years. Karen Duffy goes to Sussex County to investigate the future of American Population Growth.

SADDAM GAS: Gas prices in America are going to hit an all time high this summer. Michael looks at how far Americans will go to get cheap gas. He opens up Saddam Gas, gas for 50 cents a gallon, all the proceeds going to support Saddam Hussein. He also indicts the UN's oil for food program by offering gas for free to anyone who donates canned goods for Iraqis starving because of the US bombing. (Which continues today) GULF WAR SYNDROME FUN RUN: The US government denies the existence of Gulf War Syndrome, the disease that's affected thousands of Gulf War veterans since 1990. Michael goes to the Pentagon and stages a fun run of veterans with the disease for the benefit of a Defense Department representative.

PUT THE HOMELESS IN STORAGE: Correspondent Karen Duffy looks at a trend that's becoming increasingly common in America-homeless men and women living in storage lockers. POST THIS FROM THE BIBLE: Congress recently passed a bill that mandated that schools post the 10 Commandments in classrooms. Michael goes to congress and posts appropriate bible quotes ("It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven") in the offices of the bills supporters. ARE YOU A VICTIM OF GW BUSH AFFIRMATIVE ACTION: Presidential frontrunner George W. Bush is not only firmly against affirmative action, he's a sub par student who turned his mediocre grades into a slot at both Yale and Harvard business school. Michael looks for people with better grades who were denied a spot at these schools because George W. is the heir to an American political dynasty.

CORPORATE COPS: Michael uses some of the techniques that have proven successful in the war against street crime to combat corporate wrongdoing. REPLACEMENT MIKE: Michael Moore is so tired of constantly going into corporate lobbies and being thrown out that he auditions a series of "replacements" for his job-an attack dog who speaks with Mike's voice, a dozen red beret wearing five year olds, three Victoria's Secret models, and two Cuban Grandmothers. Their target: Tosco-an oil refinery corporation with a dismal safety record. WHEN IN NEW YORK CITY: Correspondent Karen Duffy picks up a busload of actual tourists in Times Square and take them on a tour of New York that their travel agents haven't told them about-The 70th Precinct where Abner Louima was tourtured, an overcrowded classroom, an actual working sweatshop

NO TRIALS NECESSARY: Moore goes to Nevada County in California to convince people to give up their rights to go to jail. NO INTELLIGENCE NECESSARY: Correspondent Jay Martel tries to reason why a person was denied of being a cop after passing the entrance test with a high-IQ.

CORPORATE COPS: Mike sets up a "neighborhood watch" around C. R. Bard Pharmaceuticals in Murray Hill, NJ. Three of Bard's executives were found guilty of manufacturing defective heart valves that resulted in several deaths, and all have evaded jail. MOLSON LOSES ITS HEAD: Correspondent Ben Hamper investigates the cultural differences between Barrie, Ontario (where Molson Brewing closed a brewery and moved jobs to Toronto) and Toronto, as this was the reason given why Molson refused to relocate its workers to Toronto.

WHITEY CAN'T RIDE: Michael Moore decides to only pick up African-Americans when he is a taxi driver for one day. LOW HEELS FOR HO HEELS: Correspondent Tariq "K-Flex" Nasheed goes to Washington D.C. to talk to Congressmen about accepting lobbyist money. MALE APARTHEID: Moore decides to compare the apartheids between America and South Africa.

ELECT THIS POTTED PLANT: We follow "The Awful Truth" candidate for House of Representatives in the State of New Jersey, a ficus tree. We go through the fundraising and stumping process with our candidate. Michael serves as campaign manager for the one candidate who will never vote for pro-life issues, never fire a gun, never take dirty money.