Jason Kennedy Luttgens Ah "Beowulf" great story, An Balls out Anglo-Saxon poem from long ago. Ah Robert Zemeckis and Neil (sandman) Gaiman, two enormously overrated hacks. Hence we have "Beowulf" the cheesy cartoon! I know, some are screaming it's CGI! Big, fat hair deal, it's animated, for the most part badly, I do give this cartoon a 5, largely because it has one kick-ass dragon! But dozy is it dumb.Beowulf, voiced by Ray Winstone but bearing no resemblance to the pudgy actor, is a conceited, boastful lying pig-ape in this cartoon who roams bout with his fellow geeks, oops sorry, Geats, offering to slay monsters and demons in return for women or gold. Yeah, what a hero. His BFF is Hamish, sorry Waflig, or some such dippy name, it's Hamish from "Braveheart" Honest. At the beleaguered hall of Santa Claus, oops again sorry, it's Hrothgar, voiced by Anthony Hopkins, apparently he's started drinking again. King Santa had a young queen who looks like an uncomfortable waxen cross breed between Meryl Streep and Robin Wright if she was fat and wore a bad wig. Anyhoo, Hrothgar made some mistake sand his hall is being bitch-smacked by the monster Grendel who looks rather like a knobby troll.Naturally Beobreath rips Grendel and wins the day. For some reasons no explained by this cartoon he goes to see GRendel's Mom, voiced in a Russian accent by Agnelina Jolie. Ah Good ole Bob Zemeckis, he gives us the cartoon asses of Hopkins and Winstone, but Angie? Nah, gold dipped and phony as hell. Sigh.After Hrothgar drowns in his corn flakes, Beowuss becomes king. Flash forward ma ny years, we don't' know how many, and Beo has a queen and a girl Urusla, who looks like a min-me of the queen. Princess? Daughter, no just some bitch for Beoballs to hammer at night when he gets bored with Robin, er Wealthrow, Uh-huh, again what a great "hero" he is! Well he's sinned big time too and that comes back to bite him in his still tight and curiously hairless rear.Ugh, there are some pluses here, some dynamic action, some rousing songs, but it's all misogynistic and dumb and well it's a freakin cartoon! It's also waay long and simplistic. Even the ending is kinda vague, though most epic poems or sagas if you prefer, were vague in their endings, i. e. GAwain and the Green Knight. Anyhoo, check "Beowulf' the cartoon if you liked "Brave" pretty similar and again the Dragon is awesome!! 15yold boys may rate this much higher.

reid-hawk spoilers, but I didn't. there are things i really liked this movie, but they are few and far between. Overall this movie is just generic. It's score is pretty much the score of Shrek. yeah... Shrek... The movie that was parodying fairy-tales. That isn't a good sign for a fantasy movie. The characters pretty much fit under the general fantasy archetypes. The drunk and incompetent king, the brave but flawed warrior, the bitter queen, the good friend to the hero, the evil seductress of a villain, and so on and so forth. honestly if it wasn't for this movie's animation style there would be nothing special about it at all.But that's what i do love about the movie. It's animation allows for the monsters to look real when compared to the human characters, and the artistic vision these animators had for Grendel is perfect. No he isn't the monster from the story, he is the monster made for this movie. he's gross, speaks incomprehensible olde English, scream yells and whines, and generally is just gross. The dragon that shows up later in the movie is kind of generic, but he is well animated and well detailed.overall, Beowulf is an average 6/10. Don't ASK ME WHY THAT'S MY AVERAGE SCORE INSTEAD OF 5 CAUSE I DON'T KNOW. Just kidding I know I'm the only person that will ever read this review

Python Hyena Beowulf (2007): Dir: Robert Zemeckis / Cast: Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, Robin Wright, Angelina Jolie, Crispin Glover: Total suck fest about a man of great strength named Beowulf who arrives to slay the feared monster Grendel. Setup works given an interrupted celebration that unfortunately didn't involve shutting down the film. Director Robert Zemeckis sinks with pitiful dialogue, formula storytelling, a laughable conclusion, and special effects that are about as festive as an outdoor toilet. This is a major disappointment for the director who made Forrest Gump, Back to the Future, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Ray Winstone constantly bellows, "I am Beowulf!" as if he's trying to convince himself. Didn't anyone realize how ridiculous this looked? Anthony Hopkins plays the regretful drunken King who pays for his earlier actions. It is the one passable performance in the film. Robin Wright basically sits and looks pretty. We can at least be thankful that she isn't yelling out Beowulf's name. Crispin Glover plays the monster Grendel. Finally Angelina Jolie as the marketing payoff as Grendel's mother who seeks revenge but not before trying to seduce Beowulf thus teasing the audience. Message of heroism is not evident in the laughable delivery but what is evident is that Zemeckis may need a stiff drink after this one. Score: 2 ½ / 10

craig-hopton At first I didn't like this movie at all. I thought the animation was a dreadful idea. What is the point in animating perfectly good actors and actresses when special effects nowadays allow you to have great visuals but still have people looking like real people?But eventually I got used to the style and it stopped bothering me. Just as well because it meant I could enjoy what is actually a rather decent epic adventure story.I studied the poem Beowulf at university and I'm familiar with the story, so I noticed where the movie deviated significantly from the plot.However, I actually preferred the plot of the movie, because it brings an additional tragic element into the tale and makes Beowulf seem that bit more human. I honestly don't think the Anglo-Saxons would have minded. In fact, I think they would have relished the relentless focus on action, heroic deeds, mead halls and wenches that fills the movie from start to finish.It's not an exceptional movie by any stretch of the imagination but a decent fantasy epic all the same.