Joel Bragg Our Squadron has embarked on a most triumphant adventure, to ascertain the best-worst film of the 1980s. After a vast amount of study, and many efficacious screenings, we fell upon an IMDb endorsement…BMX Bandits. While none of us have ever seen this film, and judging solely on user reviews, the movie cover, and pictures from various scenes, we resolved to give it a viewing.The opening scene produced smiles to everyone's faces with anticipation of the potential astounding phenomenon that was to come. Those same smiles metamorphosed to looks of bewilderment as this same opening scene dragged on for five, nay ten minutes. Not long after, the initial chase scene began…and never ended.Aside from the unquestionably awful acting, the requisite for a translator to decipher the dialogue, mediocre bike stunts, unequivocally incompetent bad guys, and absolutely no plot whatsoever…never mind, it was just horrifying anyway you look at it. The only redeeming…sorry, I did it again, there was no redeeming quality. It was just that vile.Not many weeks before, we screened the film "Rad" and were mystified by its pure, unalloyed cinematography and tremendous BMX stunts. I deem it was a mistake, a most heinous mistake, to think that this movie could even come close to paralleling it. Some users compared "BMX Bandits" to the "Goonies." We all laughed and celebrated the scenes of our young heroes braving the copious traps set forth before them and relished in the memorable characters and musical compositions that would leave us singing these songs for days…wait, sorry, it didn't have any of that.When the credits finally completed rolling across the screen, I rose from my chair and gently flicked the switch to the lights above. The quiet hum they produced broke the silence that seemed to linger. What I saw next will forever be seared into my soul. Grown men, warriors who have braved numerous attacks and survived the harshest of environments were broken. Three lay on the floor, crouched in the fetal position, shaking and crying out for their mothers far away. One was bent over the nearby garbage can, emptying the contents of his stomach in an effort to cleanse what he had witnessed. Another simply sat in his chair as his bowels cried "no more" and emptied itself onto the ground. Yet the majority of us simply stared ahead, deep in thought. It wasn't in disbelief of what we had just forced ourselves to observe, but rather in self-reflection of how the deepest part of us will all be forever changed.Even though we are fighting in Afghanistan, and any time away from reality is valued more than any wealth, none of us can get those 88 minutes back…none of us. After the film we made a pact, once this review was complete, and submitted to you good people, we would never speak of it again.

Wizard-8 "BMX Bandits" has built up somewhat of a cult over the years, the obvious reason being that it involves BMX enthusiasts, as well as the fact that a pre-fame Nicole Kidman is one of the stars. However, I don't think it can be called a good film. While it was made for theaters, the movie constantly has a visual appearance that makes it look like it was made for television. There is also a bit less BMX racing than you might think - after a few minutes of it at the beginning of the movie, there is no more for the next half hour. And while the director tried to pump up the BMX sequences with carefully selected camera angles, it doesn't hide the fact that the BMX racing and stunt work isn't very exciting. But I'm not the target audience. Kids will probably like this movie a lot more than I did, though I think even they will find the movie has more than its share of slow spots.

gcd70 Terribly bland, predictable kids flick about a trio of bmx teens who stumble across a stolen stash and have a run-in with crooks and cops as a result.Produced solely to cash in on the bicycle moto-cross craze that swept the world in the early eighties, script is silly and corny throughout and will entertain only very young bmx enthusiasts. Of course for them there is plenty to look at, with the main chase sequence taking up what seems to be half of the film.Apart form the bmx action attraction there is nothing else on show. The cops are dumb, the crooks even dumber, and the film is just plain simple over all. Notable perhaps for the fact that famous Aussie cinematographer John Seale was behind the camera, and that Nicole Kidman made a rather forgettable start here.Saturday, July 13, 996 - Video

Tom Holly I have similar feelings about this movie as a lot of the other reviewers.As kids, my friends and I used to rent it at all opportunities. I can still remember fighting in the car over who got to look at the cover! I watched it again a few years back. The plot seemed silly. The acting was no longer brilliant. Overall it dropped about 2 stars!But I still enjoyed seeing it again. It was good memories. Of course having Nicole Kidman in one of her first movies ever is also great fun to watch. Who'd have known she'd go on to become such hot property.P.s. She must spend a fortune keeping her hair straight!