Leofwine_draca
My second made-for-kids shot-in-Romania slice of junk following on from LITTLE GHOST. This one's another straight-to-video effort about a couple of kids who get involved with a weird old man who just so happens to have a time machine in his apartment. What unfolds is an adventure in which the kids run around a lot while the viewer suffers the effects that only a very poor and dated production can bring.Nothing screams dated like a film made in the late 1990s and indeed CLOCKMAKERS is a very dated film. The cheesy CGI effects probably date it the worst, but the mannered acting and exaggerated performances really hurt it too. At least LITTLE GHOST was fun in a cheesy, CASPER rip-off kind of way, whereas CLOCKMAKERS is just inane. Attempts to bring to life the 19th century are quite woeful and overall this is on par with a cheap TV episode of a long forgotten kid's show. I notice once again a link to Full Moon Entertainment with writer Neal Marshall Stevens (here hiding under a pseudonym) contributing the script.
roger_gray1965
Clockmaker. More like Crapmaker.This is TRULY awful. I'm all for undemanding fun for kids and adults alike but please, this would insult the intelligence of a two year old.Low production budgets, fine. Brain dead script not fine.There is so much wrong with this film that it's impossible to point out individual flaws.But if I have to then why if computers were invented years early does everything look so bloody awful, they obviously didn't have any CAD programs.Also a computer manual doesn't tell you how to make micro chips or capacitors etc etc.Give a chimp a pocket watch and he won't go on to invent an i-pod. Complete crap.Do not spend anytime watching this dreck.You have been warned...
How-Now-Brown-Cow
I was flicking through the channels when I found this. Not knowing what to expect I decided to watch a little bit of it. It was half way through and I didn't know what the hell was going on.It's one of those typical things where the children wear bad 90's clothes and one of them's fat and stupid and is always hungry. The plot is unoriginal and has been used countless times before. What really annoyed me, for some reason, was the music. I don't know why but it really got on my nerves. And what was the point of that weird place where the women wore blue nun head thingies, and one of the women sounded like she was constipated?This film is so crap it's worse than someone who'd had very bad diarrhoea. No one watch this filth.
Mr. Squeegee
Well nobody else has commented on it so I might as well. This movie is just plain annoying. The camera swoops and dives, the characters are stupid, and the plot is stupid. Not to mention the very un-special effects. I won't recount this movie, but I will warn you to avoid it. Unless, like me, you are a fan of crap cinema, don't even think about it. If you are, than at least have a couple of friends over and make fun of it.
AD
