MartinHafer IMDb has a "bottom 100" films--those with the lowest ratings of the many thousands of films listed on the web site. The bottom 100 films list is pretty wretched, though many truly horrible films somehow missed inclusion on the list. And, oddly GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS did make the list--even though it's not that bad a film at all, especially for Ted V. Mikels. Mikels has made some amazingly bad films (such as CORPSE GRINDERS and ASTRO-ZOMBIES) but compared to these films, GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS is practically Shakespeare! Yet, of the three films I mentioned, inexplicably GIRL has the lowest IMDb rating. I think this is due to this film being featured on "Mystery Science Theater"--and I've noticed that many films shown on this show have LOTS of reviews and ratings because of the notoriety it gave them. The film is about three people who are heading to Los Angeles. One is a pretty lady whose life goal is to become a go-go dancer (she dreams big, huh?!). One is a punk guy who is thug through and through--he is the most poorly written and acted of the three--by far. And the last is a soulful guy who is cute, plays the guitar and sings. While these characters are all very one-dimensional, they are interesting and hard to ignore because the script and their roles are so tacky! When they get to L.A., they get jobs with a seedy nightclub owner. This jerk also deals drugs and has a twitchy and greasy sidekick who looks a bit like Dracula and a mortician morphed into one. The punk joins them in a "trio of terror", the lady realizes her dream job (only to realize it isn't that dreamy after all to be a go-go girl--who'd have figured?!) and the nice guy hangs around to keep an eye on the girl and to keep her out of trouble.The film is cheaply made and jam-packed full of silly 60s song and dance numbers and pop culture references. Lots and lots of silly go-go dancers fill the screen in the second half of the film and often it just looks like padding, but at least the girls are rather pretty and the script is semi-competent. The nice guy also inexplicably sings a couple numbers like Frankie Avalon and he was probably the only guy in the film who seemed to have much talent. But, being connected with Mikels and this film surely didn't help him very much in the long run. In fact, of all the main characters in the film, NONE OF THEM had a single credit other than this film!! Apparently this film was a kiss of death to their careers and they all eventually became go-go dancers!While the dialog is occasionally lame and the film isn't great, it is an interesting kitschy time capsule. Plus, for an ultra-low-budget film, it's pretty good and watchable. While compared to all films I might score it a 3, for a low budget "quickie" it is quite competent despite the Mikels touch!

bensonmum2 Michele Casey (Leslie McRae) has bigger plans for her future than working at her father's diner in the middle of nowhere. She dreams of being a dancer. When a smooth-talking lowlife named Buz Nichols (Tom Pace) offers her a ride to Los Angeles, she jumps at the chance. Along the way, the pair meet up with a draft dodger named Critter (Jody Daniels) who's also looking to get to L.A. Michele ends up getting a job dancing with Buz's junky sister at a club called the Haunted House. The club is run by some of the greasiest customers to ever use Vitalis. They've soon got Buz dealing dope for them. Can Michele escape the squalor her life has become or will she be dragged into the gutter?Girl in Gold Boots is a difficult movie for me to rate. On the one hand, it's the kind of movie that makes you feel like taking a shower. It's a greasy experience. One scene in particular in the movie perfectly illustrates this effect on me. Buz's sister (the druggy) has almost passed out and is on the floor. There's a camera shot looking up from her perspective at her slimy boss. In the background just over his head is a giant brown stain on the drop-tile ceiling. It's nasty and disgusting but looks like most everything else in Girl in Gold Boots. I would like to think that the director, Ted V. Mikels, carefully chose this shot to use the brown stain as a representation of sorts for the character standing under it. But that's probably giving Mikels way too much credit. My guess is that the stained ceiling came with the location they were using. As nasty as it looks, it fits nicely with the rest of the movie.But I've rated Girl in Gold Boots a 6/10 so it should be obvious that I found something about the movie to enjoy. It's hard to put finger on, but something about the story, the characters, and the incredibly lame dancing actually works for me. Some of it may be in the at "so bad it's good" sort of way, but whatever, I find it entertaining. I suppose this is one of those cases where comparing the movie to a train wreck is appropriate – it's hard to look away. However, be warned – based on the IMDb rating of 2.8, it's obvious that I'm pretty much alone on this one.Girl in Gold Boots is one of those movies that I've seen both with and without the MST3K commentary. My opinion of the movie remains unchanged whichever way I watch it. The MST3K commentary itself is very funny. I rate Girl in Gold Boots a 5/5 on my MST3K rating scale.

Greg Eichelberger Film, a Ted Mikels Production, "stars" Jody Daniel as "Critter," a long-winded draft-dodger (sort of like Bill Clinton), who teams up with a slutty dullard of a waitress, Michelle (Leslie McRae), and dime store thug, Buz (Tom Page), on a trek to an L.A. strip club, The Haunted House. "The Incredible Journey" this ain't. Opening title song, performed by Chris Howard & The Third World, is as inane as "Never Steal Anything Wet" by Mary Wells (which opened "Catalina Caper") and "Ha-So Stratosphere Boogie" by Jimmy Bryant & His Night Jumpers (which introduced "Skydivers") and, to make things worse, they play it about 10 times throughout the movie! Other songs, including "Wheels Of Love," "Everything I Touch," "For You," "Do You Want To Laugh Or Cry," "Hello Michelle," "One Good Time, One Place," "Lonesome Man," "Cowboy Santa," and "Strange Things," make this one of the worst musical soundtracks since "Incredibly Strange Creatures......," "Newsies," "Grease 2," and the remake of "Lost Horizon." Buz, the poor man's Regis Philbin (who, himself, is the poor man's Joey Bishop) first meets Michelle gyrating awkwardly to a jukebox in a run-down greasy spoon, and claims she should dance professionally, even though she has no talent, whatsoever. And, since his sister, Joan (Bara Byrnes) is the "number one attraction in Los Angeles," she decides to leave her abusive, drunken father and go with him. Along the way, they meet up a couple of wimp bikers, pick up the hitch-hiking "Critter," frolic with a guy in his goofy beach buggy, and rob a mom and pop store. Of course, the two guys get into a fight over Michelle, who, with her huge face, stringy hair and caked-on eye make-up, is slightly less feminine than Harvey Firestein in "Torch Song Trilogy." And her acting makes one yearn for the professionalism of ANY of the women in "Pin Down Girls," "Charlie's Angel's: Full Throttle." They finally arrive at the club, which, evidently, actually existed (complete with a huge mouth for a stage with nostrils that randomly spews steam for some reason) in a time when good taste and a pleasant atmosphere obviously were not very important to patrons. Once there, Michelle, despite her aforementioned lack of talent, rhythm, looks, brains, coordination, athleticism, or charisma, is hired immediately, and soon vaults passed the pill-popping Joan, while Critter and Buz get rewarding positions as a janitor and a drug pusher, respectively. The club's owner, Leo McCabe (Mark Herron), comes from the Carlo Lombardi-Great Vorelli sleaze school, with a henchman (Marty-William Bagdad) that looks like Ortega's (from "Incredibly Strange Creatures") cousin. And, in the tradition of past washed-up pop stars who've appeared in B-movies (see Little Richard, the Cascades, Platters, Mel Torme, and Paul Anka, among others), Preston Epps, who had a #14 hit with "Bongo Rock" in 1959, makes an embarrassing cameo during the party scene. In that particular sequence, Michelle's complete lack of dancing skills are never more evident as she drunkenly sways about the room in most humiliating fashion. Later, as tough and athletic as Buz is supposed to be, he's easily chased down by a pudgy, middle-aged, bald jail trustee (Harry Blatz played by Harry Lovejoy), who looks like a cross between Victor Buono and Dabney Coleman. Anyway, to make a long review even longer, Buz, in a fit of stupidity, kills Harry, but he, Leo and Marty are subdued by the pacifist Critter, who, seeing the error in his peace-loving ways and joins the Army, just in time to be shipped of to Indo-China. A profoundly bad counterculture movie that makes itself worse by actual selling out in the end. for all his rebellious talk and swagger, Critter thinks it's best to and fight for Uncle Sam. I weep for the soul.

EuroNYC7 When I first watched this piece of junk, it was in the company of my MST3K buddies, Mike and his irrepressible funny robots Crow and Tom Serbo...thank goodness for such an occasion, because frankly there is no way in hell I would have seen it "MST3K-free"!! For a moment, I could've sworn the Buzz character was Regis Philbin in his early acting career before "Regis and Kathy Lee" hit the spotlight well over a decade later (hey, got to start somewhere!)... until the credits later rolled and discovered it was a total unknown by the name of Tom Pace (WHO???) Some bubble-headed coffee-shop gal takes up on an offer to ride with the RP look-alike, picking up a simpleton loser named Critter in the process, and heading for possibly the biggest Red Light District L.A. has to offer...just so she can be a dancer! God, what a waste of film! Throw in some real bad acting, atrocious editing (The U.S.S. Enterprise had to be orbiting Earth that day because the way Buzz suddenly "beams" into the screen in the restaurant booth...), the sleaziest, oil-enhanced night club owners ever seen, not to mention a senseless dune buggy shot, an unheard-of prison system program with thugs walking in and out of a jail at will, lousy songs and the Beach Boy-wannabes that perform them, and finally a dialog that can only compete with that of a '70s porno flick, and you've got yourself two choices: Watch it on its original version in which case you will senselessly throw away two hours of your lifetime...or watch the MST3K Version, and get yourself a bucketful of laughs. The guys from the Satellite of Love will brand it their hysterical form of justice.