Peter Pluymers "Are you a cop? Why? You ask questions like a cop. How's that? Like you're not really interested in the answer, but the way I answer. I'm a cop. No kidding. You're on a stakeout? I was gonna hop a train. Changed your mind? Missed my train.""Hotel Noir" takes place in the infamous 50s. The years of glitter and glamour with its jazzy mood. When men walked around like Humphrey Bogart and every woman seemed to be a diva. Those were the days that lightning a cigarette wasn't associated with a deadly disease, but with fun and sensuality. The time in which a microphone looked like a significantly over-sized toaster and women wore bras as if sophisticated cruise missiles were hidden in it. The same wigwam-shaped things Madonna became famous with, many years later. Men and women had conversation as if they were performing in a stage play with rapid dialogue lines which sounded shrewd and ingenious. It was the Charleston time and the time the mafia ruled with Dick Tracy-like gangsters.Unfortunately this rather old-fashioned-feeling film reminded me of the dull theater shows I had to watch when I went to high school. At the beginning I still had this hopeful thought that this could be a pretty entertaining movie. And this because of the fact that they managed to convince a few well-known actors to cooperate, such as Dany Devito, Rufus "I'll follow you down" Sewell, Rosario "Trance" Dawson and Carla "San Andreas" Gugino. But despite the well-known cast, the film felt like a third-rate detective novel in which the relationships between the protagonists revealed themselves painfully slow. And the stories are intertwined such as the spaghetti in a Spaghetti Bolognaise.And that's also the biggest drawback of this film. The complexity and quantity of twists made it a really hard to follow film. It all feels cheap and minimalistic as well. Both in terms of story as scenography. I bet the limited budget, this movie was made with, probably has something to do with that. And it's not really intriguing or exciting at all. The conversation between Felix (Rufus Sewell) and Hanna Click (Carla Gugino) is the most fascinating part of the whole movie. A series of short questions and answers the two protagonists are shooting at each other. Amazingly shrewd sometimes. But ultimately it's still nothing more than a colorless film, trying to emulate a similar film from a successful era in film history. A game of Cluedo was more exciting in those days.More reviews here : http://bit.ly/1KIdQMT

Eddie_weinbauer This was a god awful endless snooze.It starts out with Danny talking bout his life as shower door salesman,and how one good looking women came on to him once. Fron there it's just a bumpy downhill ride,with endless monologues and dialogues that never really manged to lift the movie,nor keep you awake.It tries to be this really clever film noir,but you are neither entertained by nor interested in any of the characters nor their faith. You just want it to end.I have never given Malin ackerman all that much thought as anything else than eye candy,so far she hasn't disappointed me yet.Her and Carla Gugino mostly work as eye candy and some lame sort of femme fatale, to draw people to the movie by name association .In short stay away from this

XhcnoirX Los Angeles, late 50s. Police detective Rufus Sewell ('Dark City') steals a suitcase full of money from a group of robbers who just did a successful heist. He holes up in a hotel room while trying to think of his next move. In the course of the night he comes into contact with a string of people including shower door installer Danny DeVito ('L.A. Confidential'), nightclub singer Carla Gugino ('Sin City') and cleaning lady Rosario Dawson ('Sin City'), and as the movie progresses, all the links between the various characters become clearer and tighter.Written and directed by Sebastian Gutierrez ('Gothika', 'Judas Kiss') this neo-noir somehow went under the radar and wasn't even theatrically released?! The cast above is well-known as is, but it also includes other well-known faces like Robert Forster ('Mulholland Drive') and Kevin Connolly ('Entourage')... In any case, it's a shame as this is clearly a labor of love. The movie plays out in a non-linear fashion with a lot of flashbacks, voice- over narration (by different persons) and people telling their side of things so gradually more and more information is revealed and how each person fits into the overall story. It's a neo-noir through and through, but it also stands out in many ways. Filmed in gorgeous black & white the movie starts off focusing on DeVito, before turning to Sewell... or is it really Gugino's story? Or someone else's? Because of the way it is told, paying attention is required, as well as sticking with it... Things are fairly slow at first because all the characters need to be introduced somehow, including some which do seem a bit redundant and don't add a lot to the end result. But as the pace of revealing information increases, so does the movie's level. It's not a perfect movie by any means, but a fairly unique neo-noir all the same and well worth watching. 7/10

phanatic1160 there are several key ingredients present here, which could have potentially yielded great results, but unfortunately a lack of aim and some grave casting errors doom this flick to mediocrity.first the good: the picture looks great, especially considering the budget. solid but not exceptional camera-work. malin akerman, Danny devito, Carla gugino and especially Robert foster look and sound great and are just right for their parts. their efforts keep the rating at slightly above average.the bad: the dialogue has no feel for the time period. it is full of phrases and expressions that don't feel right for the time. Rosario Dawson and Kevin connolly are completely miscast. especially connolly sounds and looks like this could be some sort of shrooms-induced "entourage" dream-sequence. his appearance immediately made me think of Tobey maguire in "the good German" who also stuck out like a sore thumb in that cast. Rufus sewell at least looks right for the part but his voice and accent do not.even though the flick is coming in at a rather reasonable 97 minutes, these crawl by and during the Nth musical number that goes on for far too long you can't help checking your watch.(mild spoilers) the 'joke' ending and the aimlessly wandering plot add to the somewhat unsatisfying experience.