Rainey Dawn
I'm sorry I had to fast-forward this crappy film to the ending just to see how it ends after 15 minutes of watching it. It's tasteless trash instead of being bloody good or even semi-good.From what I've seen, It's overly gory, lame excuses to show nudity, stupid story, and just overall dumb. Now I understand the low rating and bad reviews on this film garbage.If you love Vampires and Comedy-Horror films then watch a film like "Love at First Bite", "Dracula, Dead and Loving It" or even "Abbott and Costello Meets Frankenstein" (Bela Lugosi plays Dracula in that one). Forget this Modern day Vampire trash film. It's not worth the time to watch it. There are MUCH better films on the market than this.It gets 1 star from me ONLY because of Kim Cattrall and Casper Van Dien both looked hot in the film and I'm forced to give a 1 star minimum.1/10
rhbwebpages2
There wasn't much all that scary or thrilling about this movie, as its self-proclaimed genre suggests. Rather, it was a great movie to watch and make fun of. Seeing the esteemed van Helsing tromping around LA with his ghetto band of misfits was the most ridiculous thing I've seen on film in a while. And the scene where the four "brothers" gang bang the vampire is hilarious due to its unexpected nature and exaggeration. And hearing Count Dracula call multiple people "f**kwads" is great. Watch this for laughs, but don't expect to get nightmares.Some of the special effects were cool, however, such as the "dying" of vampires when struck with a wooden stake and Dracula's hedonistic LA club. Overall, not bad. Just goofy.
mkiraly
Only in America can vampires expect to call for garbage pickup. No messy disposal problems here. As a vampire author, I'd far rather see vampire movies that feature something new, rather than rehashing the old myths - no matter how well it's done. (For a similar new take on vampires, though hardly as funny, be sure to see Dance of the Damned) Actually, though Modern Vampires seems to strive to be intentionally bad, this makes it very funny, very hip though certainly not for everyone.I loved it for the early humor (The scene with the bitchy salesperson in the dress shop was worth the rental price all by itself), and was sad to see the over the top end did not work quite as well as the first half.
ReggieSantori
MODERN VAMPIRES is an (obviously) independent (obviously) low budget "off-beat" little thing that features Casper Van Dien. His character is a vampire who smiles a lot and always seems to be thinking "dude! I'm a vampire!" All the vampires in the picture like to show their fangs a lot and have no conception of subtlety, even though they are supposed to be fashionable. Rod Steiger appears as Van Helsing in this version (who is somehow only about 60 years old at the end of the 20th century) and he has a huge grudge against Van Dien's character for making his son a vampire. A prostitute vampire figures prominently in the plot and our hero takes her under his wing to show her the ropes of vampire society and to save her from a vampire count who wants her dead. Any of this sound interesting to you yet? It isn't. I just watched it because I thought the Sci-Fi channel might be showing a real movie for a change. Wrong! This cheap, un-involving junk is on par with all the crap they show. The lighting and music are really bad points that go extra far to cheapen an already lame production. MODERN VAMPIRES even takes a few stabs at being funny, but these fail too. It's as if a made for TV film decided half-way through production to be hip and trendy like FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, but wasn't quite sure how to go about it. This is exactly what you'd expect it to be: wanna-be quirky, poorly acted, boring, predictable, and downright annoying when it tries to make you like it. I genuinely hope that this director never gets work again. Unless you're a sucker for seeing Rod Steiger making a fool of himself, stay far away from MODERN VAMPIRES.
AD
