Paul Magne Haakonsen For some reason then "Old 37" had managed to elude me until 2017, which is a bit odd as it has both Kane Hodder and Bill Mosely on the cast list, two huge iconic horror names, and two actors that I do like in movies.So when I got the chance to sit down and watch "Old 37", I needed no convincing and I didn't even have to read the synopsis for the movie. All that was needed was the horror label and the fact that both Hodder and Mosely were starring in this movie.The pacing of the movie was somewhat of a mixed result. I especially liked how the movie did lay the groundwork for the setting from the very beginning. But the movie did follow the generic formula of how to make a horror movie, which was so clearly apparent, for better or worse. And it does slow down quite a lot during the first half of the movie in order to establish characters and background. That made it somewhat tedious, but then it gradually started to pick up pace again as Jon Roy (played by Kane Hodder) and Darryl (played by Bill Mosely) made a return to perform their ghastly endeavor. The cast in "Old 37" was good, especially because most of the faces appearing on the screen were new to me. And personally I do enjoy watching new performers on the screen, as they are not already associated with other roles in other movies. And having two horror icons in one movie needs no explanation.As for the characters in the movie, well I will say that the character gallery was quite diverse. Some characters more likable than others, naturally. However, the overall impression is that the characters could just as easily had been in any other horror movie, so there was a feeling of generic character build to some of them.There wasn't an abundance of special effects, much less CGI effects. But I will say that the practical effects that were in the movie were quite nice, especially the special effects make-up on Brooke, when she was found, that looked quite good. It was interesting to have Jon Roy cover his lower part of the face with a mask throughout the movie, but when his face was revealed it was somewhat of an anti-climatic reveal, because his face wasn't that scary or deformed."Old 37" was actually quite nicely filmed and edited, which made for a very enjoyable viewing pleasure. And that also made for a very good flow to the movie.The music score for the movie was actually quite good, and the music was quite fitting for the particular atmosphere that permeated the movie.I must admit that I had expected more mayhem and mutilation that what director Alan Smithee managed to deliver here with the help of writers Joe Landes and Paul Travers. And the ups and downs in the pacing of the movie was also somewhat of a setback for the overall enjoyment of the movie. "Old 37" wasn't an impressive or outstanding horror movie in any way, and not even the two iconic horror figures Hodder and Mosely could salvage this one.

Scarecrow-88 Growing up with a fruitcake paramedic father with a taste for blood (he never got over it after the war!), two adult men (horror icons, Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley) were truly effed up by his upbringing, although their mom tried as she might to show them some semblance of family love and affection. Well, the two operate a car salvage yard and on their spare time hunt down wrecking motorists when they dial 911 from in short distance. How do they hunt? By pretending to be paramedics, even owning an ambulance, surprising unsuspecting victims by bringing the ultraviolence, that's how.The movie alternates between flashbacks detailing the ghoulish memories of Hodder and Moseley and Caitlin Harris' gradual transition from cool, individualistic "misfit" (she's not part of the whole popular crowd) to silicone-boobed, blond-colored, desperate-for-attention Heather. There's also high school's It crowd Caitlin is not fond of yet inexplicably decides to eventually mimic…because of a boy, of course! Caitlin and her mom have conversations about the men in their lives, and the eventual boob job gets plenty of rub. Daftly, Caitlin's friend is murdered because of a car stunt involving legs split on two cars while driving at high speeds (the blond diva of the teens feels overshadowed and causes her beau to lose his attention while driving!) and fades into the script's ether…it is included strictly to make the kids who decide to keep it all a secret all the more unfavorable.I could care less about the miscreants that made up the teens, but there is a good bit of attention towards them in the first part of the movie. It is only later that finally the film emphasizes Moseley and Hodder's horrific childhoods (Moseley is definitely warped by the experience, ridiculing Hodder endlessly, even responsible for his facial disfiguring resulting in the wearing of a mouth mask) and gets to them killing folks. Moseley has been pretty much typecast as the backwoods psycho, but he continues to somehow summon the gravitas to make the characters he plays watchable. He's a charismatic presence, no doubt about that. I have to guess he's bored with this by now, though. "Dead Air" (2009) proved he could play a character that is right the opposite to his usual nutjobs, but he's so incredibly busy (just look at his schedule, it is astounding) the money offered beats unemployment, I guess. Hodder will always be employed as long as he brings the menace like he does here. Still, they are actually underused despite their heavy billing in the cast. As far as their extracurricular activities: the violence is mostly out of frame. A saw to the throat squirts blood, but a majority of knife-stabbing and saw dicing is implied not explicitly elaborated…a no-no for those who typically watch this kind of movie. Like horror movies of today, aesthetically, it is all desaturated with brown and grey prevalent…it is all sepia-centric. This has the Alan Smithee title for the director in the credits so it is clear that Christian Winters wasn't fond of the finished product…I think his decision has merit as it is a tale of two movies both fighting for supremacy.

GL84 After a string of disappearances around town, a group of friends find that the events are committed by a pair of psychotic brothers posing as paramedics intercepting emergency calls to kidnap and torture victims and forcing them to stop their rampage.This here was decent enough and had some good parts. What really works nicely here is the fact that there's some rather fun times to be had here from the way this one goes about delivering the torturing and tormenting that the two guys dole out, providing a great amount of bloodshed. The opening attacks on the different travelers, from the father's assault on the girl to their present- day ambush on the other couple and finally appearing to the high- school kids manages to really get quite enjoyable with the different dismembering and torturing done on the victims while getting this one set-up quite nicely Several other rather fun stalking scenes are found throughout here, from the stalking of the couple in the car out in the woods or the rather creepy attack on the lone victim in the impound lot, though the fun really comes from the finale where there's plenty of highly enjoyable stalking and chasing done throughout here, from the confrontation in the woods where they get abducted into the ambulance and the great stalking through the darkened impound lot, the brawling with the family in the shack and finally the big finish which gets some nice action and gore involved as well. These here are the film's best parts. Still, beyond these issues there's quite a few problems to be found here. There's not a whole lot that's of any real interest here for the majority of the film, really dragging the pace out in the first half. The storyline about the teens getting ready for the party aware of the different accidents afflicting their classmates and the utterly banal social hierarchy involving everyone there which manages to include the cliché story about their secret back-story and the mean girl structure that involves everyone out trying to outwit each other in order to better themselves, and none of this is all that clever, original or enjoyable in the slightest. It just makes the film quite bland and boring while also highlighting the other flaw in that the brothers don't really have a whole lot to do here. By forcing all that into the film, they tend to take a backseat and show up for a few brief scenes which are quite enjoyable somewhat but don't really generate the kind of interest they really should seeing these hulking behemoths on-screen which is somewhat frustrating. Their back-story isn't all that enjoyable anyway and really tends to come off as so cliché and expected it's all going to be guessed without much difficulty and really brings down it's effectiveness. Likewise, the other small flaw here is the finale which features the turn for no reason here other than giving the heroine a chance to escape out of the situation as it makes no sense why that would occur or the motive behind it. Otherwise, this one wasn't that bad.Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Nudity and strong themes of child abuse.

ephephess I had such expectations for this one. It promised me Bill Moseley as a villain, it promised me the-always-relevant twist (paramedics gone wrong) and thus both a psychological and visceral, brutal horror. I expect many of you have the same expectations, but heed my warning - this is NOTHING compared to what it could've been. This movie is an insult in regards to casting/acting, script/story, scenery/footage and editing/effects/gore. And no, you will not even laugh at how campy it is. You will feel insulted, and probably turn it off quite early.I feel bad for Moseley. Poor, old man having to interact with such amateurs. You should get another agent.2/10.