Nigel P Get a group of males together round a table, give them a pack of cards, and they think they're Al Capone. In a flashback to 1927 and a lengthy gambling session, the owner of the island on which their den is based, gambles the entire property away and then, pretty unhappy with the situation, shoots himself. Subsequent shadowy noises suggest his spirit remains, however.Back up to date and much of the interest the story has thus far garnered evaporates sharply with the seemingly inevitable introduction of the standard 'group of friends' – and yet these 'standard' people have no names; instead they are all 'dude, bro, man or chicks (plural)' – or occasionally 'a**hole' (one of them is called Mike, played by someone called Randy Wayne unsurprisingly; as the sensible one, he may be slightly less moronic than the others). Not one of them isn't punch-able. Blemish free, horny, rock kids with no personality but the ability to remind you at every turn, that if they really existed, you'd cross the road to avoid them. You just know there'll come a time when one of them 'has to pee' – and sure enough, that box is ticked too. Lance Henrikson, who is a universe better than this party-fuelled shallow mid-island sweaty nonsense, makes a few appearances. But we don't see much of him – there is so much more happening, man: the kids are getting drunk and stoned.What on Earth makes directors/producers (Marty Murray) feel the necessity to clog up their projects with a host of personality-free, manicured non-descripts and drag their work down to the same level as every other such film? The quest to attract the opposite sex knows no bounds here. Powder-puff catwalk girls look coy as hunky males eye up their 'candy asses' (everybody probably works out when not copping off). Guys brag about chicks checking them out and pout sulkily when other chicks dismiss the idea due to jealousy. This pristine bubble of a world is crying out to be punctured.Back in 1972, low-budget exploitation guru Pete Walker produced 'The Flesh and Blood Show' for about a fraction of the time and budget it took to cobble this shallow nonsense together. It wasn't perfect, but made much better use of an isolated seaside theatre for some good creepy moments.Although some effort is clearly made towards the end to inject some excitement into the proceedings (there is an effective moment when an army of ghosts watch the departing survivors from the water, but even the ghosts are good looking!), this is mainly dross – a routinely constructed tension-free horror with a cast of posturing cretins, scarce chills, and is ultimately a slick waste of time that leaves you gagging for it to end long before events stutter to a dribbling climax and soft-rock at last brings down the curtain.

bournemouthbear Paranormal Island (2014)Three college students have taken up posts as summer staff at a bar. The bar in question happens to be in the middle of nowhere - standard horror film scenario - Blarney Island, off the coast of Grass Lake, Illinois. The only access to their employment is by boat both to and from the location. The threesome are aware of that staying at the island after hours is a bad idea but do so anyway partaking in a few drinks after their shift has ended. Why is it a bad idea? Well they now have no means of transport back to the mainland and the island is rumoured to be haunted by a malevolent spirit known as The Caretaker.The Caretaker is the spirit of the island's previous owner who had decided that losing a game of poker was good enough reason to commit suicide. For whatever reason said ghost feels he has grounds on which to kill off those that remain behind on the island apparently for revenge. This idea doesn't seem ideologically sound to me but then we are talking about someone who took losing a card game rather too much to heart.One of the students Mike (Randy Wayne) is looking to obtain a degree in forensic science with a heavy leaning to his real interest of the paranormal and debunking it. Mike sees this situation as an opportunity to do so however he and his friends, Lori (Sarah Karges) and Henry (Ben Elliot), find out the hard way that on Blarney Island that the paranormal activity is not only real but kills too.Paranormal Island has an interesting, if familiar, premise but is rather one note in its execution. There's no tension or surprises and consequently no scares either. What is refreshing in writer/director Marty Murray's is that the young cast are likable rather than irritating and their performances are agreeable. Where Murray loses the ball is in the plot details some of which are vague. Why, for example, is The Caretaker (the film's original better title) killing off folks that have no connection to him?Big on set-up but lacking much in the way of a pay off Paranormal Island wastes Sorority Row's Briana Evigan - so good tiger horror flick Burning Bright (2010) - to be the point that she actually seems she would rather be somewhere else. You will too as everything quickly becomes flaccid soon after our threesome start work at the island. It's a shame as there seemed to be so much potential upfront.Check out more of my reviews at www.mybloodyreviews.com

nebk I didn't have high expectations of this movie and yet it was even poorer than expected. The so-called paranormal island is a place in a middle of some lake where people gather to drink and party. But after midnight bad things start to happen and people go missing. This is supposedly due to the presence of the "caretaker" a ghost of a man who committed suicide in 1927 after he lost his bar to a competitor in a poker game on the same island. The funniest and also saddest thing and the first noticeable error is the fact that the guy who lost and then committed suicide actually had the winning hand (a flush) and he lost to a straight held by the guy who beat him. If you are writing a movie or a story how difficult is it to do some basic research on poker-hand rankings on the Internet and at least get that right. Fast forward to 2014 and a bunch of friends are going there to work as bartenders and waitresses as the island has basically become a party-goers paradise. One of the friends is trying to disprove the existence of the paranormal for his thesis by filming the lack of any paranormal activity. Predictably, they end up on the island after midnight and are soon being chased by something even though they were warned to leave as soon as their shift was done. Overall this film has poor acting, a terrible story, bad effects and a weak music score. It doesn't make much sense and who ever wrote it couldn't even research something as basic or simple as poker hand rankings. As such it deserves no better than 1/10. Just awful.

chrismackey1972 I gave this a 3-star rating. I was not impressed by this. The acting was fair, certainly nothing great. The storyline was silly. It was slightly reminiscent of I Still Know What You Did Last Summer if that movie was really, really boring with lamer characters than it actually had. There was nothing inspiring about the death scenes at all - no gore at all. The "scares" if you can call them that were not scary. 64 minutes in, there's a special effect of a ghost in the window, which is truly pathetic. Seriously, a boring movie. I do not recommend. I apologize for the review being so boring, but it's an honest reflection of the boring movie I reviewed.