FlashCallahan Depp and Morrow play a pair of sexually starved teens who go to a very expensive Florida resort, with only one thing in mind.....Ladies.As you'd expect, things don't go as smoothly as planned in these sorts of films. Morrow falls for one of the waitresses, and Depp fancies another guest, but as her family are consumerist pig dogs, they wouldn't give him a second look unless he's a high paid professional....Add to the mix Hector Elizondo and Callahan from Police Academy as a couple bent on stealing a necklace, a security guard provided only for comic relief, Andrew Dice Clay as a stereotypical ladies man, and a young boy who is a bit of a pervert, you get a wannabe farce.These film were ten a penny in the eighties, the holiday comedy with a little bit of nudge, nudge, wink wink, cheeky cheeky thrown in.Summer Rental, Paradise Club, Fraternity Vacation, are just a few from a huge list, and they all have the same trope, the horny guys looking for a good time. Although in this movie, they are the centre of attention, but arguably the weakest characters in the movie.It's all the bonkers characters that appear in the rest of the film that elevates it from its mundane story line and narrative, from the weird Bill and Ted-esque stoner who comments on The Maestros ever decreasing appearance, to the barber. They are all absurd and bonkers, it makes the film more watchable.And come the final act,the makers realise that they have no idea how to end the movie, so they go for a Benny Hill type extended chase scene, that is admittedly, quite amusing.In the space of fifteen minutes we have cross dressing, buckets falling on heads, men mistaking men for women, a strong woman beating up a man, corridor chasing, gun fights that feel totally out of place, back injuries, and of course for no reason, pie throwing.But it's plot narrative really let's it down, as does its misogyny and borderline racism.But hey, it's still a bit of throwaway fun.

Victoria Fisher Wow, mood of this movie is so good,that it elated my day today! "Private Resort" is very easy to watch, light plot and ,of course, it is attention-grabbing movie. In my opinion, the main aim of comedies is to make watcher to laugh. This movie did it. Funny moments and situations made me to laugh loudly. Every film must have a moral, even though that film is a comedy. Perhaps strange to say, but I saw a moral here. The idea of the film is good, I don't have reproaches for the idea (or aim) and plot. Unhappy situations were funny and actors appeared very well. Director created marvelous comedy which raise a mood! It was very nice to see a very lovely couple - Ben and Patti. Conventionally, it's always pleasing to the eye to see that comedy finishes good and all bad guys are arrested. I would like to watch it again and I'll recommend it for all my friends. Very pleasant to see Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow. Soundtracks were very musical. Even now they sound in my head. To sum up, movie is worth to see, funny, what is very important for comedy. 10 points!

aloysius_predato All the slapstick had me rolling as did the deadpan acting. Pure cheese with a lot of eye candy for guys and gals (including Depp's naked rear... which did nothing for me, but ladies probably will enjoy). Depp had more of a supporting role in this. The scenarios were funny and moved well from one to the next, but they probably only did one take for everything because each scene was contrived and poor in execution. The dialog is horrendously bad, poorly written. This movie literally had me laughing much more often than most recent films. The wannabe Sean Penn was annoying as was the grandmother. To me, the Barber and Reeves are the funniest characters; their brawl in the elevator was so absurd... God, I think this needs to be out there, this movie should be watched, which is why I am wasting these two last lines simply to comprise the required ten. Hope it helps. If not, screw you. Haha.

TOMASBBloodhound It isn't every day you can watch Andrew "Dice" Clay slap around Johnny Depp in a movie. Or see Blanche from the Grease movies down a whole bottle of Quaaludes. Or see Hector Elizondo running around with a reverse Mohawk.... the list goes on. But these are just some of the things you'll see in this very enjoyable comedy from a bye gone era of film-making. Private Resort has a plot so minimal that one really would be hard pressed to describe it. I guess you could say that it is about two young men (Depp & Morrow) who visit a posh oceanside resort hoping to meet girls. They meet several, and along the way they get mixed up with an evil jewel thief played by Hector Elizondo. The action is played out in a series of chase scenes through the hotel, attempted hook-ups, and even a shootout at the end. Roll credits.Private Resort scores on many fronts. First of all, this film knows it's a sex comedy. So it also knows that in order for the audience to get their money's worth, there has to be a lot of nudity. And this film does not disappoint in that department. Even the guys get naked! You bet! Johnny Depp is fully nude at one point. We only see his backside, but I'll bet his female (and some male) fans will be totally satisfied. It appears this film was made before he started getting all of those tattoos. I didn't notice one on him. The film relies on physical comedy or "slapstick" for most of the laughs. The script has few memorable lines, but it really doesn't need them to get the point across. That poor guy who plays the head of hotel security continually gets the crap beat out of him as the action unfolds. So does Elizondo.Depp is appealing in one of his earliest roles. I doubt that he was asked many questions about it when he went Inside the Actor's Studio, however. Maybe Depp looks back on this film and smiles as he remembers a more simple time in his life. Who knows? Morrow as the more shy one of the two main characters is also very likable. It's good to see he still works, too. Andrew Clay is featured, and this is before he became known as the "Diceman". He is shirtless on one scene, and he appears to have more hair on his shoulders than on his entire back! Really, there isn't much more one can say about this film. It hits all the notes it intended to hit. The cast takes juvenile material and makes the most of it. Elizondo in particular stands out. You can even sense a few ad-libs he may have thrown in in some scenes that add to the fun. Also, there is a welcomed appearance by the large-chested policewoman from the Police Academy movies. The film hasn't even aged all that badly, except for the obvious changes in female swimwear. But, since most of the women in the film end up naked in their scenes, it really doesn't matter what they're wearing, does it? 6 of 10 stars.It was fun when I was in 8th grade, and it still is today!!! The Hound.