Eric Stevenson This movie stars Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook. My personal thoughts on Dane Cook are that I think he can be funny. It's hard to support someone who was voted the worst comedian of all time in several different polls. There's no doubt that he's amazingly annoying in this film. I did kind of lose it when he started acting like a velociraptor. There are these two monks who are really obnoxious too.Although it has a 0% on RottenTomatoes, when Obscurus Lupa reviewed this with the Nostalgia Critic, she said she did consider it a guilty pleasure. I mean, that's actually pretty big of her. I guess the action scenes weren't that bad. For the most part, this is still really stupid. It's still definitely by no stretch of the imagination a film I would recommend. One of the monks kind of looked like Samuel L. Jackson, but I knew he'd be too dignified to be in this film. *1/2

elshikh4 Maybe the number of the people who love Dennis Rodman is few. But I'm sure the number of the people who can actually stand looking at him is fewer ! He's a celebrity who was having a fine hour in the late 1990s. So why not making movies. There are fool fans to watch, and companies to win money. Therefore let's film an action thriller named (Simon Sez) starring that walking store of earrings, that heavy bad joke, and that Madonna's ex-lover too, who occasionally plays basketball !By the way it's a Germany/Belgium/USA production. I always say be aware of the European sense of humor. Sometimes there is none. Though this movie has none humor, action, thrill, acting, or any kind of attractiveness at all. So who cares about the absence of humor ? The problem though is that it has nothing but an ugly time that alleges having all of the above! Think like this : it's a long video clip meets camp James Bond meets the independent B-movie crap meets any bad nightmare you have ever seen. P.S : The hero, the sidekick, the evil guy, and the girl they all belong to the bad nightmare part ! It'll make you nauseated and dizzy. Rarely to see a movie that oozes awfulness with this much. The presence of its leads gives it even more awfulness. I bet they can turn off the 2 or 3 idiots who got hocked by this movie in its start !In the same year of 1999, there was one true Bond (The World Is Not Enough). And one Bond spoof (Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me). Now (Simon Sez) is like something in a faceless middle. It couldn't be neither. Or anything different with a good taste either. Well, to tell you the truth, this could have been good in one case; if everything was changed! It's poor, provocative, and totally detestable. I feel I'm talking about Dennis Rodman here! But believe it or not, the miracle has happened; I loved some things about it ! Yes !! It's 1) The explosions. 2) A funny take on a phrase has been said 4 years earlier in (Brave Heart). I'll let you discover it yourself (maybe according to my extreme need of having someone to share my grief over experiencing this movie alone !).Watch it only to tell your young grandchildren that you saw the hobgoblin once, yet in a form of a movie !

MartinHafer ...which makes me wonder about myself! This film is horrible...no question about it. The only question is does it belong on IMDb's Bottom 100 list?. Well, I'd say no...but its inclusion doesn't bother me as it is a terrible film with very little to recommend it and it is so incredibly irritating. One one hand, the stunts took considerable talent but on the other hand this is mindless trash through and through.For the most part, the biggest problem was NOT its star Dennis Rodman. He wasn't particularly good, but he wasn't terrible. Yes, he had practically the personality of sawdust, but in this film that's a relatively good thing! That's because at least he wasn't an irritant--like his co-stars. Dane Cook, on the other hand, was about as welcome as cancer in this film. This annoying troll managed to be more obnoxious and unfunny than folks like Chris Tucker or Uncle Joey from "Full House"--now THAT'S bad! Nearly every second Cook was in the film I hated him and wanted his character to die. He was loud, he was unfunny and he made goofy sounds and acted like a dinosaur at one point for no reason whatsoever. The only good thing about this is that his obnoxiousness overshadowed the few times that the normally funny John Pinette was also obnoxious and unfunny. I have never seen a cast of sidekicks less funny or welcome than these trolls! In addition to totally unfunny comic relief, the film suffers from the notion that the only way to hide the fact that Rodman is no actor is to throw over the top stunt after over the top stunt into the film--sort of like 4 or 5 James Bond movies' worth all shoved into one film. Believe it or not, the stunts here are even more ridiculous than those in "Mission: Impossible"--another movie designed for brain-dead audiences who hate plots and only want non-stop action.Normally, I would try to explain the plot and tell you more about the film but I'd rather not and just scream loudly "THIS FILM IS HORRIBLE--AVOID IT LIKE EBOLA!!!!". Dumb, poorly written and childish--there isn't anything (other than a likable villain) to recommend this steaming pile of .....movie. Yuck!

Matt Poirier Wow. That's all I can say about this cinematic gem. Not only does it star Dennis Rodman (as the main attraction, not a co-star like in Double Team and Cutaway), which would be more than enough, but the film then goes on to spoil us with such great masters of the craft like Natalia Cigliuti (from Saved by the Bell: The New Class), and John Pinette (the guy who was robbed in the Seinfeld final episode). Sure, his sidekick guy, Dane Cook, was extremely annoying... but he was more than drowned out by the great performance by Rodman. The only thing that would have made this better for me, and ultimately this is the reason why I only gave it an 8, would have been the inclusion of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Had he been in the movie with Dennis, that would have made it a ten. Well, okay, I would have also liked to see maybe a Jeff Kober-type as the bad guy, instead of the wispy British guy they used. But for a movie that isn't Road House, it's hard to do any better.