Sandcooler I'm not really the type to start nitpicking about technical problems in no-budget, Z-grade horror flicks, but dear Lord is this thing inept. This might just be the most poorly edited feature film I have ever seen. Is it daytime, is it nighttime? Are they in the woods, in a graveyard, in an open field, at Wal-Mart? Why is he looking over there, isn't the character he's talking to in the opposite direction? Why do they leave five seconds between every line? The main characters might be alcoholic rednecks but nobody thinks that slow. This movie plays ping-pong with your mind, you're constantly thinking it's you who's seen the previous shot wrong but the movie just turns out to be that badly made. Is it entertaining though? Well, I've got to say it kinda is. The first half hour is pointless filler, but it's funny pointless filler. I've never seen a group of horror movie "friends" hate each other so damn much. Why the hell do these six people who clearly can't stand one another (every pre-zombie second of this movie is bitching and gossiping about whoever's not there at the time) go on a camping weekend together, did they lose a bet with their real friends? When the zombies come things get pretty exciting, there are a lot of special effects to laugh at and some of the zombies (the few ones you can see, ever heard of lighting you guys?)are pretty decent-looking, I've seen worse zombie movies. With a bit more money, time and basic knowledge on cutting this could have been fully watchable, now it's something that at least manages to cater to the all important "this looks horrible, let's watch it"-crowd. And hell, I'll always be grateful to star Steve Sandkuhler (of "Night Of Horror" fame!) for giving me my nickname, so there's that.Fun yet incredibly scary fact: director Tony Malanowski stopped directing after this movie, he became...an editor. Lord have mercy.

Woodyanders A band of Civil War soldiers come back to life as flesh-eating zombies and terrorize a group of friends embarking on a deer hunt deep in the woods. Boy, does this hilariously horrendous schlocker possess all the right wonderfully wretched stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: Incredibly ham-fisted (non)direction, exceptionally atrocious acting from a thoroughly lame no-name cast of rank amateurs (Mime Iskikawa cops the top thespic dishonors with her insufferable turn as whiny blind babe Kiyomi while Christopher Gummer likewise grates on the nerves something fierce as obnoxious toolbox Mel), a numbing plethora of tiresome bickering amongst the extremely irritating and hence utterly unsympathetic characters, crummy make-up (several of the zombies wear chintzy dime-store rubber masks), a droning and annoying redundant score, a meandering narrative that plods along at a painfully poky pace, grainy, shoddy, dimly lit eyeball-straining cinematography, a slight script, zero tension or spooky atmosphere, painfully tin-eared dialogue, and ineptly staged zombie attack set pieces. However, this movie nonetheless deserves some credit for not wimping out on the hardcore gruesome gut-munching gore, with special extra kudos in order for the grotesque slurpy sound effects. A tasty slice of prime celluloid Velveeta cheese.

masondixonkid I first watched this movie back in 1986 when I was 9 years old and thought it was great. Well 24 years later the name of the movie popped back in my head and I knew I had to track it down. Upon re-watching this flick I was absolutely floored at how atrocious it is. This is truly a completely inept movie. Everything from the cinematography to the acting to the sound is utterly pathetic. It's pretty obvious it was not produced by professionals, but a group of friends who wanted to do something fun. And it is fun, it's just not good. I still watch it from time to time because I am a die hard zombie fan. The one thing about the movie that is truly good is the plot behind it. The idea of stealing the diary of a confederate general from the church which in turn brings back the dead soldiers who kill and devour those who stole it is great. If you can get past all the other things that cripple this movie, it's worth watching just for the plot. The group who made this movie did have a pretty cool and original idea for a zombie flick. The problem was, they didn't have the resources to make it what it could of been.

HumanoidOfFlesh The confederate zombies shall rise again!A group of unlucky teenagers decide to go camping in the woods.Kiyomi the Blind hears strange bells.Mel goes off to investigate and finds an old church and forgotten graveyard.The other campers soon join him and they find a case with a perfectly preserved Confederate flag and a diary.They decide to leave the stuff there,so as not to offend the dead Confederate soldiers buried in the graves,but Mel steals the diary.It's the beginning of nightmare as zombie soldiers rise from their graves looking for human flesh...The first half of "The Curse of the Screaming Dead" is deadly dull.The acting is incredibly bad,the dialogue is panned and the film looks gloriously cheap.When the zombies attack they're pretty crappy.Most of them are wearing Halloween masks and plaid shirts.The film becomes more amusing and exciting during the second half,when finally zombies do appear.5 out of 10 for this low-budget piece of trash.