Zbigniew_Krycsiwiki
The sea isn't *haunted*, so much as it is inhabited by an abandoned ship home to a gassy-sounding, rubbery, dinosaur-looking creature who is supposed to be the feathered, winged serpent known as Quetzacoatl. Apparently, the filmmakers didn't do their homework on that one, because its physical description, as well as the spelling of its name, are incorrect herein. Eventually, a small crew board the ship and discover a crate filled with a curiously lightweight gold statue. Several times, top-heavy Krista Allen imagines herself jiggling and bouncing topless during some sort of sacrificial offering, before the statue shock/ possesses one of their number, who turns into a fanged, belching, slobbering demon, and rips them to shreds, eventually turning into what this film calls "Queztacoatl".Lengthy tracking shots during opening credits only serve to pad out the film's brief run time, as does Krista Allen's shower scene and plentiful nude scenes (I counted three in the first fifteen minutes) . Krista has a great body, but should either stick to doing porn, or at least get better screenplays to work with. The camera jiggles almost as much as her huge rack does, which makes it difficult to figure out what little is happening on-screen.The final shot is intended to be a shock twist ending, but it only made me groan. Furthermore, it is held for such a long time that any surprise which might have been is slowly driven away by boredom.
lordzedd-3
MAJOR SPOILERS! I hate to say this, speaking as a man and all. But there was way too much nudity in this film. This has got to be some kind of record for nudity in a non-porno flick. There has got to be twenty to thirty minutes just for nudity. The creature effects were okay, for a snakeman. But as per the norm with anyone connected to Roger Cormen, they don't do their "RESEARCH". If you want to talk about something as widely known as the Aztec Gods, you don't use your imagination, you go with the facts. Fact, Quetzalcoatl is the winged snake God, some versions have him with legs, but with wings, where are the wings? Second, they misspelled Quetzalcoatl. Look it up! Lastly, the acting was worse then some pornos in places and then comes the OTHER SHOE ENDING. Some might ask, what is the "Other shoe ending". It's this, the monster is dead, someone escapes alive. Then the other shoe drops turning a happy ending into a bad ending. In this case it was this, stop reading if you don't really want to know. Second Mate Johnson sets the monster ablaze, she leaps out as the ship explodes behind her. Her ship searches for her for hours and finds her on board a piece of wood (ala Titanic) and a close up shows that she is transforming. That makes no sense, she out of all people know not to touch the snake statue, she never touched the snake statue. Why is this happening, it makes no sense, it's stupid. Why do these morons who make these kind of movies think that it has to have a bad ending to leave it open? Hmm? No matter how stupid they have to make it. This is how I would have done it, take notes future filmmakers. Johnson is rescued and is still human. Fade out, fade in, under the ocean, the sunken ship. Sinking out have put the fire out before it could get to the cargo hold. We pan through the treasures until we reach the snake statue, which is undamaged and the eyes are glowing. That's how you keep a movie open and not look STUPID!!!!That's why I give this good movie with a majorly stupid ending the NOOSE!
Lawson
Early clues that this movie will be a complete waste of time: Gratuitous female nudity before the opening credits are over, and wobbly cameras zooming in at screeching people to simulate predator attacks. And oh look, boobs were bared again 10 minutes into the movie.Essentially this movie is similar in plot to the recent Ghost Ship - the crew of a boat find a (haunted) abandoned ship and board it. This script is crap, however. There's something about an Aztec curse, which leads to flashbacks of sacrificial rituals, which naturally requires there to be naked women. Despite the title, this is actually a monster flick. Effects are limited here (read: a monster that looks like a puppet), as is the acting. There are a few more experienced actors, and there are the actors that need a few more years of acting school before they can take up roles like "Bystander #1".I wonder what a renowned actor like James Brolin is doing in this movie. I guess before he married money... I mean Barbra Streisand, he had to find some way of paying the bills.
Memlets
The other user comment for this movie says it all, except that Barbra Streisand should forbid hubby James Brolin from ever again attempting an Irish accent.And then there's that gimme cap on the noggin of the usually glamorous, decidedly non-butch Joanna Pacula.MST3K is gone, sad to say. This would have been perfect fodder.
AD
