Wuchak RELEASED IN 2012 and written/directed by Rob Zombie, "The Lords of Salem" is a witchcraft/horror flick starring Sheri Moon Zombie as a DJ in Salem, Massachusetts, who is sent a wooden box containing a mysterious record dubbed "gift from the Lords." The creepy music thereof triggers flashbacks of her town's infamous past. Is Heidi going crazy or are the witches taking revenge on Salem?The ambiance, mood, directing, music, locations, sets and cast are all top notch, showing that Zombie has developed into a quality director since his first shot eleven years earlier with "House of 1000 Corpses," which was shot in 2000. This is serious haunting horror as opposed to the campy black comedy of "1000 Corpses" (not that there's anything wrong with that, lol). The movie mixes elements from "The City of the Dead," aka "Horror Hotel" (1960), "Suspiria" (1977), "Rosemary's Baby" (1968), "The Wicker Man" (1973) and "To the Devil a Daughter" (1976). If you like any of these movies, "The Lords of Salem" is as good or better.Usually when you see old hag witches in movies it's kinda eye-rolling; not so here. Rob gives us the real deal and it's not pretty, although I admit to busting out laughing every time the witches hailed Satan. Speaking of which, modern Wiccans won't like how the films mixes Witchcraft with Satanism (the truth hurts). Interestingly, there's almost as much Christian imagery as there is Satanic.One thing's for sure, Zombie doesn't paint witchcraft/Satanism in a positive light. It's similar to "The Witch" (2015) in this respect, where converting to witch-dom meant becoming a baby-slaughtering, blood-bathing, family-destroying, goat-sucking, friggin' pedophile hag with the illusion of youth. When the Devil eventually appears in "Lords," it's anything but a positive image.The story seems to perpetuate the myth that those condemned at the Salem Witch Trials in 1692-1693 were burned to death. Actually, 19 people were hung, another slowly crushed to death, and over 150 imprisoned.Sheri makes for a strong protagonist, but she's the extant of any eye candy on the female front. As noted earlier, the witches are all hideous hags and look even uglier with their clothes off. Meg Foster surprisingly appears as the lead witch. Meanwhile, Judy Geeson, Patricia Quinn and Dee Wallace are on hand as a dubious trio in modern Salem. Speaking of whom, they have a great (hilarious) tea scene with Bruce Davison, who plays an expert on witchcraft.THE FILM RUNS 1 hour, 41 minutes and was shot in Salem, Massachusetts; Sable Ranch, Santa Clarita, California (witches dancing around fire); and the Los Angeles Theatre (opera house).GRADE: B

D Rahul Raj Jsd It's the 26th of September and it's also Ms. Sheri Moon Zombie's birthday. Not only is she known as the wife of Rob Zombie, but she has played many amazing characters in all of her husband's films. She is an icon and a queen of horror, and an actress who I have so much respect for. To celebrate her special day, I watched one of my personal favorite movies of hers, 2012's The Lords of Salem, written and directed by her husband, Rob Zombie. Sheri Moon Zombie played the iconic psychotic killer, Baby Firefly, in House Of 1000 Corpses, with it's sequel, The Devil's Rejects, and her recently badass character Charly in Rob's 31 (2016). In The Lords of Salem, she plays the good character, Heidi, a rock DJ at a radio station in Salem, Massachusetts. She receives a mysterious record from "The Lords", a record which is an ancient curse from the evil witch, Margaret Morgan (played by the legendary Meg Foster), and her coven of 6. It also features Jeff Daniel Phillips, Ken Foree, Bruce Davidson, Dee Wallace, Judy Geeson, Patricia Quinn, Maria Conchita Alonso, and many more. Horror legends, Sid Haig and Michael Berryman have cameos too. Sheri's performance is incredibly intense, with the emotions showing in her character, and I just do not know why some people never give her the credit that we, the fans, know she totally deserves a hell of a lot more. She should be doing more movies than most of the overrated and boring actors working in Hollywood today. Also, a massive comeback for the legendary Meg Foster (John Carpenter's They Live, Masters Of The Universe, Stepfather 2, and Rob Zombie's latest flick, 31), with her mindblowing performance as the main villain, Margaret Morgan. In my opinion, this is Meg Foster's best performance ever. Lords Of Salem is a feature filled with eerie elements, visuals, vivid atmospheres, an amazing soundtrack, etc. It's a slow-paced, shocking tale of horror that was made in a beautiful and artistic way. I know that not many people love or even "get" this movie as much as I do, but when you are actually, really in the mood (paying attention, that is), you'll definitely enjoy it; it's a very different and unique film from Master Of Horror, Rob Zombie.

jadzia92 I saw this movie because Barbara Crampton, who I love, is in it but it is absolute garbage and Barbara is mistreated here by only appearing briefly in a couple of shots but no speaking lines.She is credited as Virginia Cable but this name was never mentioned in the film as Barbara was completely on her own in the scene that she was in which ultimately was not essential to the film.The Lords of Salem is in no way enthralling and the plot makes very little sense.It is hard to care about what is going on because frankly it does not succeed in making me care of what is going on especially with the plight of the lead character Heidi.

Eightiesjunkie If the box office failure of Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 was any indication that Rob was losing his touch, this film confirms it. I loved house of 1000 corpses and The Devil's Rejects, but when he made his Halloween movies, the uniqueness of his "style" began to wear off. It had simply become a commonplace horror trend. I hated his Halloween movies, but not just for the fact that they were bad remakes. They were nothing new, it was just the same old stuff that Rob had done before. All of this would of been fine if they had been his first films, but now that his film making style has been so often imitated, it wasn't new, exciting, or unique anymore. After Rob had finished with his Halloween films, I just thought to myself: "Okay, Rob's just not good at properties that aren't his own. Maybe his next project will be better." Well...it isn't! I have no idea what Rob was going for with this film, but all I can say, is that this film is without a doubt his worst! His Halloween films were awful, but at least with those I'd be able to stay awake! You read that last sentence correctly, this film was so painfully boring, that I couldn't even keep my eyes open while watching it! It's not that the film has a slow pace, the problem is that the main character isn't interesting at all. No matter what kind of horror film you're making, you have to have interesting characters! The main character/characters must have something about them that makes us the audience, sympathize with them! That's the reason as to why this film was so boring and forgettable to me. Now, the core plot or idea of this film is actually really good. During the notorious "Salem witch trials" A coven of Witches place a curse on the reverend that plans to have them executed, and the descendant of the reverend is the target of this curse. As interesting as the film's premise may be, The film's protagonist(The reverend's descendant) is what kills it. She does nothing to make us care about her. If we don't care about her, then we don't care about what happens to her in the film. This is a huge problem! Characters and story are what drives a film, and if your film doesn't have anything to drive it, then what's the point of watching it? Rob Zombie's prior films (at least some of the time.) had good, well written characters. Not here however, in fact, I couldn't care less! I'm sorry Rob, as a former fan, I just have to say that you just don't have it anymore. You're more than welcome to try again and prove me wrong, but as far as I'm concerned, just stick to music from now on.