sixpackgarage When I saw this on prime, it looked so horribly stupid that I had to watch it. The premise was obviously stolen from Commando, but over a decade later when movies of this genre were long obsolete and irrelevant. Hogan even steals one of the best one liners from Commando "I lied"...amazing, but I guess since this appears to be a Canadian production, maybe people wouldn't notice. The bottom line is, I was expecting a stupid useless movie with mindless action and violence, no plot, or any redeeming qualities and maybe a few topless shots.. well, that's exactly what this movie delivered, so I have no choice but to give it a solid 10.

Comeuppance Reviews "No Fear. No Rules. No Equal." Oh dear lord WHY?!?!?!?! Wasn't Radical Jack (2000) punishment enough? When will the torture end? Fresh off his role in Santa With Muscles (1996), perhaps the Hulkster yearned for more adult fare so he attempted to be in an R-rated action film. This seems like a good idea on paper but this jaunt barely rises to the level of adequate entertainment.Hogan plays Ben "Hardball" Cutter, an "independent contractor", i.e., a mercenary. When his old commander, Top (Vlastra Vrana) assigns him with a new partner, Vince "Cobra" Dean (Carl Marotte) the two don't really get along, but they must stop the IRA gunrunners, led by the evil Dylan McBride (Daniel Pilon). Apparently they are involved in "Operation Shamrock", a classified U.N. operation. When Cutter blows up most of McBride's stash of weaponry, McBride then declares war on the Hulkster, I mean Cutter. Meanwhile he is trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter Mary Kate (Cynthia Preston) who is now working in a sleazy strip club. Will the Cutters ever be a family again? Will McBride ever cut his ponytail? ... WHY? Every time Hogan walks on screen, you laugh because of his hair, his mustache, and his overall demeanor, but mainly because all the clothes he wears in the film are at least two sizes too small. It's hard not to notice his ill-fitting clothing. Maybe he was still going through puberty at the time. Plus he seems confused and dumbfounded most of the movie, emphasis on the "dumb". He seems like he is trying to grasp something but not quite managing. He should stick to comedies and wrestling, his obvious strong points. His partner "Cobra" is not at all tough and besmirches the name of that great film and TV show. Plus he resembles Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'Abate from the Howard Stern Show. The main bad guy looks like Alan Thicke, once again besmirching one of the greatest Canadians (but I suppose that is inevitable as the film was shot in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Preston's "aboots" give away the game as well).Also, when "Cobra" is fighting the baddies, he is wearing a bright yellow shirt and has a belt buckle almost as big as his head. If he is trying to be stealth, looking like a neon banana in pajamas in not gonna help.In this low-budget, brain-numbing exercise in stupidity which is disturbingly similar to the aforementioned Radical Jack, there are too many training sequences and other unnecessary bits that make the 90 minute running time seem much longer. There is some pseudo-cool "quick cutting" at times, and the barfights and drive-by shootings are so idiotic and ridiculous it's unfathomable. The "Simon says" sequence truly plumbs the depths of dumb. Plus there's the prerequisite sequence where the hero is tortured, but in this case it's the Hulkster in various stages of his shirt coming off. The second half of the film is basically a shirtless Hogan running around (literally - 78 minutes into the film there is a painfully obvious stunt double for Hogan doing a very simple jump over a low fence). Somehow he finds the time to change his pants and find a funny vest, but his chest remains exposed, and his "cuts" come and go. None of this should come off as complaining. You should know going in that The Ultimate Weapon is not Masterpiece Theatre.Once again, Avalanche has a "misstatement" on their box, as they did with Counter Measures (1999). The running time was a grueling 90 minutes. The box says 110. Luckily, it is not that crushing. It probably scared off potential renters 13 years ago. We don't want to spend that much time with Cutter, Cobra and Top. Luckily, we don't have to. Plus there are other "Hulk" references on the box. There are references to No Holds Barred (1989) and Suburban Commando (1991). Speaking of Commando (1985), Hulk even says in the movie "I lied", exactly mimicking Arnie's immortal line.If it's brainless entertainment you seek, The Ultimate Weapon will fill the bill perfectlyFor more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

Erling Berg Bentsen No, this isn't a very artistic movie. Yes, you've seen the story before. No, the actors aren't especially good. But yes. There is action. This is a good action movie. Just like they was made in the eighties. Big guns, explosions, ex C.I.A agents taking out entire armies on their own and non-stop action. If you want the kind of action you remember from the good old Arnold movies you have just found it here. Hulk Hogan is awesome and he really fills a role that could be played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is probably the last of the good "one man must fight an entire army to get to the bad guy and save his country/daughter" movies. A perfect movies for a boys night with beer and chips

wilbertvonbork Since this film is brought to you by the same guy you directed 24 and Kung Fu The Legend Continues ("look I'm not my father, I don't do Kung Fu, I'm a cop, thats who I am, thats what I do!"), Id have to say this falls right in lock-step. This is an action film with no action. Let me explain, there is no tension, there's nothing to grab you and shake you about, it is a dry run at half-speed. Watch it for yourself and tell me if any of the action looks anything but Hasselhoff-staged. Not since Knight Rider has there been such action and adventure. Hulk Hogan with hair-doo and sidekick couldn't have less chemistry, the bad guy is a frightening as Ferris Bueller's father. This is a dry, moldy, wet noodle of a movie and I smell conspiracy: Jon Cassar "who are you working for!" Another Jack Bauer classic is: "what are you talking about!" This is what I would yell at Director Casser for such an opus.