capkronos This 28-minute "skin noir" masterwork features legendary muscle-head Steve Hawkes in his triumphant feature debut full of chills, thrills, spills, canned music, trend-setting landing strip hair-dos, bad post sync dialogue and continuity errors. Before playing Herschel the pot-addicted turkey monster or 'Zan of the Jungle, Steve played brutish boxer Jack Owens. First seen laying into a punching bag and beating up four punks in an alleyway, Jack is so brutish that even our friendly narrator predicts he'll be the hero about thirty seconds into the film. He's just that kind of guy. Professional stripper Jody Baby also puts in an Oscar-worthy performance as Connie Martin, a wealthy nympho who becomes so distracted shooting up dope and massaging her breasts in front of a two-way mirror she doesn't even notice the pervert motel manager (Bill Henry) standing behind it photographing her! Through a magical technique never before seen on screen, the manager is able to stand in just one location yet get footage both in front of and behind Connie, as well as close-ups and high camera angles looking down upon her as she thrashes around on bed licking her lips. During the heart-stopping climax the ruthless manager lures nubile young Connie back to the hotel to show her his footage of her motel romp. She's aghast when she discovers she was photographed without her knowledge. I mean, the lighting conditions are totally unflattering and it was so dark she had no idea she just screwed the love child of Sylvester Stallone and Elvis Presley. And now the guy wants five thousand dollars? The horror! Can Jack get there in time to beat some sense into the blackmailing creep? I guess you'll just have to watch to find out.

Woodyanders Brawny womanizing boxer Jack Cohen (the muscular Steve Hawke of "Blood Freak" infamy) and his hot to trot junkie gal pal Connie Martin (shapely brunette looker Jody Baby, who was a popular stripper at Miami nightclubs in the 60's) get together to do just what you think at the True Vue Motel. No-count manager Bill Turner (veteran character actor William Henry) films the tryst so he can blackmail Connie. Director Gene Martyn loads this lurid skin noir tale with such sordid antics as heroin drug use, masturbation, and voyeurism. Moreover, we also get a smidgen of sleazy soft-core sex and plenty of tasty gratuitous female nudity courtesy of the lovely Ms. Baby. The seedy tone, Louis Smith, Jr.'s grainy'n'gritty black and white cinematography, the wonky-spacey droning avant garde moody jazz score, the hard-boiled narration, the poorly dubbed in dialogue, the trim 28 minute running time, the grimy locations, and the violent conclusion further add to overall low-grade charm of this pleasingly scroungy short feature.

BachlorinParadise What the heck was going on in the Miami film world in the 1960s. During this decade some of the worst movies in film history were produced in Miami-Dade County. Of course Frank Sinatra made some outstanding local movies-Tony Rome, Lady in Cement, and A Hole in the Head. But, for the most part they were turkey's like this one. The only reason I can think of to see this really foul-smelling "Z" film, is to see the beautiful and sexy Jody Baby. If my memory serves me correctly, Jody Baby was a local Miami star attraction at the strip-clubs, and Go-Go bars in Miami; the Castaways, Club Pigalle, and Jilly's. I think Jody Baby made a few other movies, but can't recall their names or cast. I may be mistaken, but I believe she knew or was friendly with Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack.

stellamavis THE WALLS HAVE EYES is a self-described "Skin Noir" flick brought to us by Steve Hawkes. It's a bizarre, droning tale of a woman doing naughty things in a motel and videotaped against her will in a strange blackmail scam. Having given that brief summary, let me say that there is nothing worth watching in this short film! Even the nude scenes complete with "masturbation" are dull and pointless. The music is somewhere between underwater organ and fever dream, and succeeds only in making the viewer feel disoriented and somewhat ill. My advice to the viewer is: if you have the opportunity to watch this trainwreck, run! Run as fast and as far as you can!