Vomitron_G A epic masterpiece of barbarous drivel that (un)respectfully tries to tip its hat to both Akira Kurosawa and Sergio Leone. Yes, THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS is as much a western (just listen to the score if you don't see it right away) or a samurai film as it is Swords & Sorcery flick... Come to think of it, there's not too much sorcery in this one... The only magic this film has, is the magic of movie-making. Wonderfully realistic cardboard sets. Several fine jump-cuts during editing as the result of things they couldn't accomplish in one take while shooting the scene. Delicious special make-up effects, like that one thing that first appears to be a talking lizard (the equivalent of a rubber sock-puppet) but then later revealed to be a midget in a rubber lizard costume. I could go on, but let's just skip to the best part of the film......A gorgeous looking naked babe with four boobs. Yes, not two, but four tits. And it gets even better. She dances, all naked, climbs up a table at which David Carradine is enjoying his meal. And while she distracts him by rubbing her four breasts in his face, suddenly there comes a tentacle shooting out of her vagina - no, don't laugh, I'm serious - injecting some sort of venom in David Carradine that drugs him, so it'll be easier for the bad guys to beat him up. If I would not have seen this film myself, I'd be convinced any movie containing a scene like that, couldn't possibly go wrong even if it tried.The basic premise... We've got a well, the only source of water for miles around. We've got a settlement on the right, lead by a cunningly fat Overlord and his midget lizard mutant adviser. And a settlement on the left, helmed by what appears to be Matthew Lillard's father (honestly, Luke Askew looks like he could be Matthew's daddy). Stuck between all this, is David Carradine as a loner sword fighter who goes by the name of Kain, but the villagers seem to dub him Dark One. Now, why's that? Simply because he wears a black hooded robe. You'd think that someone going by that name, would at least hail from the upper regions of the Dark Side of the Force, but no, in this film's universe all one needs to be dubbed The Dark One is a black, dusty piece of cloth.The most clever aspects of the plot, are all about David Carradine's various ways to gain profit out of the situation he has gotten himself into. He pretends to be a sword for hire, but basically ends up repeatedly fooling the two overlords, tricking them into giving him all their money and eventually playing them out against one another. David Carradine is the man. He has always been, God rest his soul.Other than David Carradine, who really shines in this movie and walks through it like it's a piece of cake (has he ever done otherwise, I wonder?), the main attraction is Maria Socas. She has a lot of scenes in this film, and not one of them required her to put her cloths on. I guess that's just what hot-looking sorceresses do in this hot-climate universe: They walk around topless, wearing nothing but a tight g-string to cover their private parts. Probably to keep possible venom-spewing tentacles in check down there. That's just speculation on my behalf, though. Also, she's supposed to be the titular sorceress, but explains pretty early on in the movie she has lost all her powers. How's that for an angle? A sorceress that isn't a sorceress anymore in a Swords & Sorcery flick. No magic. No special effects. Cheap movie. David Carradine gets all the money. I can see how that works.A fantastically exciting scene has David Carradine rescuing half-naked Maria Socas out of a dungeon. While being held captive behind bars in that dungeon, Maria is guarded by a being called The Protector. I cannot fully grasp the name given to it, but the creature really is a vile and vicious abomination. It's some sort of giant, sharp-teethed mutant-frog with countless tentacles reaching out throughout the whole dungeon. Who am I kidding here...? This movie is great!Anthony De Longis plays Matthew Lillard's dad's right hand swordsman (I think Daddy Lillard, who's actually Luke Askew in disguise, is called Zeg in this movie), and serves absolutely no purpose except for sword-battling David Carradine to the death at the end of the movie. His death, of course, not Carradine's. Usually, the naked ladies are presented as sex-slaves or for the mere purpose of providing full frontal nude shots and being drowned in a basin of water, for Zeg's entertainment (while the rest of the village is in desperate need for water, mind you). There's Burgo The Slayer, and his motley crew of mutant turd warriors (seriously, their faces look like dried up bat excrement), who also serve no purpose except for getting all poisoned and dead, which gets Burgo very angry. I kind of forgot what happened next. I think this all leads to a climactic end battle at the well. Couldn't really tell who was who. People just showed up swinging swords and stuff. There's also an old dude with grey hair. Don't know what he was doing in this film, but he seemed to know Maria Socas. Heck, I'd act like if I knew her too, if she'd come to me topless. Can't blame a man for trying.And... to wrap things up: The ending packs a surprise. Dig this: David Carradine gets the water but refuses the (topless) girl by saying "I travel alone!". Every now and then, Mr. Carradine, Swinger of Swords, does work in mysterious ways. It's either that, or they payed him a whole lot of extra money to make him say that line.

Burylman Warrior and the Sorceress is a fantasy version of the classic Japanese film Yojimbo, which was later remade as A Fistful Of Dollars. Basically, a stranger with no name (David Carradine) comes into town amongst rival factions fighting over a well, the only source of water. He plays both sides of the fence, yada yada yada....you've all seen it a zillion times.What makes this different, besides the setting, is the fantasy/medieval weirdness factor, including the sorceress (Maria Socas, looking fetching as she does the entire film sans a top), a telepathic (and incredibly phony) monitor lizard, and, to top it all off, a dance by a lady with four (count 'em, four!) honkers. And, I have to admit, her prosthetics seemed to me incredibly well done. Maybe that's just me.The swordplay was quite good, and the acting (though not spectacular), was entirely adequate. It seems like everyone involved had a great time, and so did I.For your rental (or purchase) dollar, you could do a whole lot worse...

penelopes_loom Whenever I get into a discussion with someone about the worst movie ever, this turkey comes to mind. Every woman in this movie is nude but it's beyond gratuitous...there's no point. This isn't a feminist diatribe...I live with an artist who does figure work. It is the outcry of an affronted sensibility. This movie simply fails in everything that makes a movie worth seeing. The acting is atrocious, the story is nonexistent, the sets are cheesy and the plot convoluted and uninteresting.David Carradine should be ashamed of himself for giving this offal an excuse for being made. It's been 15 years since I saw this movie yet it lingers in my mind like the taste of spoiled milk glibly drunk in the middle of the night right out of the carton. If there were a negative score, I would have marked it lower.

pieman This movie is very very dumb. But lots of people are killed and there is lots and lots and lots of astonishingly pointless nudity and sex. None of the nude women are in the least bit famous, but there are naked. That's the only reason to rent this movie, but is that such a bad reason?