Mike Gazzard Oh, dear God! I actually had to invent a new word to describe this film. So here it is; craparamic. Jon Sorensson has created an epic worthy of the greatest stage. And here's why; 1) The tagline. 'They want your blood'. Now, Jon old boy, who the bloody hell are you talking about? You never explain it, you geriatric old genius 2)Storyline. Oh, yes! Seriously, you have included vampires, aliens and, best of all, the Karate Kid in this film and yet it still achieves a level of lameness seldom seen outside of Hull. You are truly gifted.3)Special effects. How much did you actually spend on these? I reckon you just found a random tramp, gave him a bag of crisps and a commodore 64 and, wella!, the rest is (as they say) history.4)Acting. Seriously - I have seen more intelligence at the bottom of ponds, Jon. At the bottom of ponds. And the fact you added the 'twist' (hahaha!) of there being brothers? What a genius way to disguise the fact that you could not afford two actors the quality of... Well done, Jon. Well done.5)Oh God, to hell with it. I loved this film! It is really awful but, having just watched it (again) with my housemates I really can say I haven't laughed so much for a long time. Sorensen for an Oscar, OBE, hell even a knighthood? You heard it here first

beardedquiche I happened to find this film in a double DVD pack in the bargain bin at blockbuster. 1.99 for two such spectacular sounding films!! How could anyone resist? Surely a film with a blurb that involves not only aliens but vampires as well (hence the witty title) couldn't possibly be bad? After watching the truly FANTASTIC cinematic work that is Alien Blood, I must confess I have somewhat questioned the logic of my decision. The film has, as I can see, nothing even remotely resembling a plot. The story, so far as I can tell, is about some ugly women and a spooky kid who are being chased, as the blurb says, by 'a group of killers'. Possibly some sort of bizarre 'killers day out', I don't know, this is never explained.The incredibly limited dialogue that does appear in the film (it can't be more than about 10 lines) is delivered in such a wonderfully badly acted way that it makes one want to chew off their own fist in sheer embarrassment. The cast mostly consists of blokes dressed all in black with, for some strange reason, what appears to be bandages wrapped around their heads. I think this is more than likely to disguise the fact that they are in fact all the same person as they can't actually afford more than three actors on screen at anyone time.The rest of the cast are the ugliest bunch of people you could ever hope to see and have between them the acting abilities of a damp dish cloth. The best of all being 'Dracula', who in this film appears as a Cumbrian known as 'James', during the limited time he is in this film before being shot by a (clearly not) French alien he seems to be drunk off his face. I can't help but wonder if he even knew he was in this film!! I can imagine that Sorresson woke up the day after making this film, with a bad head ache and a few empty bottles of whiskey, seeing the video tape and going 'God no!! I've done it again!' Despite being without a doubt the worse film ever made, this is truly hilarious and I would recommend it to anyone!

kate I received a reject copy of Alien Blood for free along with a bunch of other extremely bad movies when I interned for Troma a long time ago. The cover art looked so pitifully stupid that I couldn't bear to even pop it in my DVD player for years. I expected it to be an unfunny, poorly made, boring Alien rip off with bad computer effects, in the vein of Legend of the Chupacabra [another free Troma movie I got in the same batch--possibly the worst movie I have ever seen in my life]. The only reason I decided to watch it tonight was because I'm trying to build up the perfect DVD collection, and Alien Blood is a blight on my shelf. Also, I asked my boyfriend if he would rather watch Alien Blood or Brad Grinter: Nudist. Those familiar with Something Weird's BLOOD FREAK release will understand why he chose Alien Blood!Anyway, the good thing about having rock-bottom expectations for a movie is that you may easily be pleasantly surprised by some aspect of it. In this case, the cinematography made the movie almost worthwhile. There are many striking shots, most notably a great one of a bagpiper up on a cliff while a gunman waits below in the foreground. A few effects are a WAY overused, such as breaking up a shot with fades to black over and over again, or using slow-motion on a flickering candle. Also, I got a very Pure Moods/Enya vibe from some of the waterfall and nature footage. Overall though, I'd say the photography was great--symmetrical, well-composed, and a lot like Ginger Snaps.As for the plot itself--ickk! My boyfriend and I figured Jon Sorenson had a vampire movie all planned out, but then someone came to him and said, "What's better than a vampire movie? A vampire ALIEN movie!" so he added a bunch of nonsense about women who run silently through the English countryside, standing atop rocky cliffs and communing with screaming moon-men [depicted in jarringly fake CG]. Admittedly, I did find the screaming moon-man to be hilarious. He shows up in the DVD menu loop, which I watched over and over again with great relish.Also, I appreciated how the director at least TRIED to tell a complex story without using many words, even though he definitely didn't pull it off.At any rate, the alien ladies seek shelter in a house full of bickering adulterous vampires. As I type that, I realize that it sounds like an amazing premise. It should have been amazing. Instead, the vampires act just like ordinary people, only they dress in 19th century garb and have pointy teeth. No one is ever bitten, and they can be killed with a regular gun. The alien ladies are also basically normal people. The little girl is a little weird, but then she basically has two lines which she repeats over and over again in exactly the same tone of voice: "Allez maman! Allez maman! Allez maman!"--ARRGGH! You would probably like this movie if you're into the X Files, but if you like campy exploitation/B movies, look elsewhere for entertainment. The gore effects are minimal, the interesting ideas lack interesting content, and basically it seemed like the longest 80 minutes of my life. The opening credit sequence alone lasted for about fifteen minutes and seemed to list the name of every single person who worked on the movie, including "Second Assistant Camera Operator" or something, in the most excruciatingly slow manner possible. I'm convinced the director stretched out all the slow-mo and long, still shots he could just to make the movie feature-length. I may watch the DVD extra "Jon Sorenson: Man of Mystery" just to find out...although putting an extra on your own DVD about how you're a "man of mystery" seems totally ridiculous!All in all, this movie is a waste of time aside from a bunch of pretty shots. I plan to sell my copy and get it out of the house as soon as possible!

adam-groves In the realm of budget-lite, digitally shot horror/sci fi flicks (see THE DIVIDING HOUR, SHATTER DEAD, etc.), the British import ALIEN BLOOD is far above average. There's not much in the way of a story, but the CGI effects, achieved at a fraction of the cost of MINORITY REPORT'S catering bill, are extremely impressive; it helps, clearly, that the film's creator Jon Sorensen is a veteran FX man.Still, what puts ALIEN BLOOD over the top is the sheer inventiveness and imagination Sorensen injects into this wonderful melange of aliens, gore and bickering vampires (with such a mix, you simply CAN NOT go wrong). Here's hoping he'll go on to bigger and better things.