bjjnedan Honestly, as soon as I saw the title after the opening credits, I considered skipping the middle man by turning this off and just throwing up in my mouth. But..., that would've been a huge mistake. This episode is just amazing. The short isn't scary or thrilling, or even serious. This is without a doubt the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. It's about this incredibly hot Native American woman who has deer legs and seduces and tramples random men to death.The entire "hot chick with deer legs murdering men," myth, despite being a real thing, is just so incredibly ridiculous just to hear to see it on screen is just WOW. I must say, the absolute best part is when the detective is laying in bed, playing scenarios about how the truck driver at the beginning got trampled to death in the back of his big rig. It's just funny as f***. This short is well worth the watch. Seriously, don't make the mistake I almost did and turn it off because of the stupid title because this is gem and every single person on the planet should see it once.

Was it All a Dream? John Landis's skill for being able to mix horror and comedy is absolutely unmatched in the genre. 1981's An American Werewolf in London was a great macabre gallows humor, the kind which the Nightmare on Elm Street series frequently reached for and almost always failed at. 1992's Innocent Blood was full of hilarious visual gags and character mash-ups. With this kind of talent behind the camera, and with the formulaic and uninteresting stories most of the Masters of Horror entries had been delivering as the series first debuted on Showtime, Deer Woman was the "episode" I was dying to see the most. Especially since whoever was in charge of editing trailers for each of the entries was making them look like "Must See" events. Deer Woman probably had the best trailer of the series. With amusing caps on all their humorous conceits, but also making the title woman look mysterious and creepy, and looking like it had a lot of dark scenes. This one seemed to have "winner" written all over it. Then, I watched it. And I have to say- talk about disappointment.Though this entry still keeps the levels of visual style and production quality very high, the writing and characterization are so shallow and bland, it was pitiful. It's not as boring as Landis's Season 2 entry, Family, but it's not nearly as well-written. Everything here is just a set up for an awful joke or one-liner. The characters are not funny or interesting. And many scenes are stretched out, in the hope of cashing in on the new "quirky humor" of any number of current TV shows. Sort of like the lost episode of Dream On. It even has a fantasy scene, like Dream On. And it's truly the only good sequence in the movie. A trucker and some random girl he met go into his truck in three separate scenarios, all ending with some kind of bizarre (and admittedly very funny) deer-related attack. The best of which being the one where of them are actually hurt in any way. She hears a noise from outside, they both look out the window to investigate, and scream in terror... as they see a deer blink its' eyes. The main character (the still stunning and drop-dead gorgeous Brian Benben) comments- "retarded." NO, John! That's funny!Other routines that attempt to be funny and sink like the Titanic include: Benben questioning a bartender about the mysterious woman and asks him a question where he gets confused by the answer and makes the man say the "F" word (hugely shocking and outrageous in 2005 - I'm being sarcastic). A string of crime scene investigations where a bumbling detective starts a back and forth chain of insults (none of them the slightest bit clever). A drunk trucker who gets mad and shouts loud in a bar. A scene where a heart-broken pet owner whose cherished friend has been killed being verbally bashed and lashed out upon by a woman whose dog she thinks was traumatized by it (as a pet owner myself, animal cruelty and death is never funny- ever! ...expect maybe in 1989's UHF). At least two scenes where the title woman goes topless (why not get a cheap shot in?). And completely inexplicable and head-scratching moment where Benben's character is stopped by a stranger (played by another gorgeously schlubby actor, Andy Thompson) who insists they know each other from somewhere.Apparently, John Landis has just been away from the horror genre for so long that he's very rusty. And none of the horror projects he's tried so far this decade have done anything to restore his good name. Deer Woman takes an interesting myth and some good mystery story ties and wastes them on lead-ups to crime scenes with one-foot-hopping detectives and morgue discussions about severed penises. Why does the monster do that? Why is the monster stalking and killing the men? Even if the comedy was dumb, I liked the concept. It could have been a much better piece if they had at least given some kind of creepy clues as to why a succubus creature is luring men away (one of them the smoking-hot Steve Archer as a business man, keep an eye out for him!). All Landis seems to have is some kind of "God works in mysterious ways" mumbo-jumbo. A native-American character later on says, "why does everything always have to have a Why with you people?" Why do I want to know? Because I have to have something to distract me from the terrible humor. Anything at all would be preferable.There are so many things that could have been done to capitalize on the intrigue and mystery of this old folklore legend. Even some of the dialogue lends itself to making this mystery terrifying and dark. But Landis only seems to see the sexual motivation or result of the situation and focuses in on that. Since if you're completely immature, you could sit around for hours and come up with a ton of jokes about genital mutilation and women messing around with animals. It seems like John's son, Max Landis, did exactly that. The Masters of Horror just do not have the best track record with mysterious women. Argento's Jenifer (who was never really a mystery) was great. And I'm starting to get the impression that Mick Garris and John Landis got the idea to do their entries based on what they thought Argento would focus on. Sure, all the women show their tits. But Jenifer was the only one who did something with her animalistic sexuality. Deer Woman just flashes and runs back into the forest. I'm not really into watching women flash... but if I were, wouldn't I want a better storyline and jokes to warrant the tease?

MARIO GAUCI This is easily one of the best MOH entries I've watched thus far, and definitely the most entertaining. I missed out on Landis' second horror outing – INNOCENT BLOOD (1992) – so I was relieved to note that he has lost none of his talent in this field (to say nothing of his uncanny ability to mix chills and gore with broad humor) in the years since AN American WEREWOLF IN London (1981); by the way, there's a brilliantly funny reference to that landmark film here. As can be guessed from the title, what we have in this episode is a half-woman half-deer who seduces and then brutally murders her prey (actually reminiscent of "Carpathian Eagle", one of the more successful entries in the HAMMER HOUSE OF HORROR [1980] TV series). Of course, nobody at first can make the connection between the presence of both a sensual native American girl (one minor gripe I have with this is the fact that everybody seems to fall for her obvious charms without once questioning her inability to speak, unless we're to believe the victims are all lechers) and a deer-apparently-gone-berserk at the scene of each crime!; the single funniest sequence is the hero having multiple (and wildly divergent) visions of the first murder – culminating in a bit where a deer, clothed and walking upright, makes off with a girl into the woods! Running hand in hand with the investigation is his story – a disgraced cop forced to deal with cases of animal aggression slowly regaining his integrity and faith in the job. Ironically, since he'd been demoted after having accidentally shot his own partner, it's only after his new assistant succumbs himself to the titular creature that he's able to bring her to book. Wisely, Landis leaves his comic baggage behind for the intense (if somewhat abrupt) finale – though coming in again at the very end as the hero realizes that he won't be able to satisfactorily explain the mystery to his superiors, so that it's back to 'harmless' animals for him from there on in

Woodyanders Burnt-out, cynical Detective Dwilight Faraday (winningly played by Brian Benben) and affable Officer Jacob Reed (a likable performance by Anthony Griffith) investigate a baffling series of brutal murders in which a handful of men are savagely trampled by a large, lethal animal. The pair discover that a deadly, yet enticing Native American woman (the stunningly gorgeous Cinthia Moura) is behind the killings; she seduces guys and then pulverizes them with her powerful deer legs! Director John Landis, who also co-wrote the witty and inspired script with Max Landis, takes an admittedly silly premise and deftly mines it for all the often sidesplitting off-the-wall black humor he can feasibly milk from it (there's an especially nifty dialogue reference to Landis' horror comedy classic "An American Werewolf in London"). Moreover, Landis delivers a handy helping of graphic gore and a decent smattering of tasty distaff nudity (Moura looks smoking hot topless). Benben and Griffith display a charming and appealing chemistry as the engaging lead characters; they receive nice support from Sonja Bennett as spunky coroner Dana. Jon Joffin's polished cinematography, Peter Bernstein's folksy, flavorsome score, the steady pace and the gruesome make-up f/x by Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger are all up to par. A hugely amusing romp.