rudyroy I watched many B movies and I have to say this is the worst movie I ever watched, normally I would laugh at the stupidness of B movies and actually enjoyed it, but this one is just horrible!!! I wish I could take back those minutes I lost in my life and do anything else than watch this piece of trash of movie, seriously that kid who play the most ridiculous killer ever filmed, should go to every home in America and say sorry to everyone for making the most wasteful garbage ever created!!!Watching the clock for a whole hour is more entertaining than this!! Why did God allowed this to happen, I can't picture Hell being worse than watching this!!!

Anthony Pittore III (Shattered_Wake) Synopsis: David Sangster (Mark Mears) has just accepted a new job from his father (Cameron Mitchell) to oversee the opening of the brand new Memorial Valley campground. With the help of George (John Kerry. . . no, not that one), David must attempt to get around all of the problems the camp is facing (dead construction workers, tainted water supplies (with rotting animal corpses), inoperable bathrooms, etc.). To add to the heap of problems, a psychopathic murderer is wandering the camp unleashing his vengeance and attempting to cut short the campers' weekend.Review: Hoping for a lighthearted romp through the California wilderness, I picked up Memorial Valley Massacre on a whim, without actually looking up any reviews or ratings. I saw the plot, saw the availability, and that was enough for me. After I started watching, I decided to take a peek at the IMDb page just to see what I was getting into. Needless to say, the 2.6/10 user rating did not instill much confidence in me. But, I kept on with it and decided to give it a fair shot. Ratings have been wrong before (many, many times). Somehow, regardless of all the hate it received. . . I really enjoyed it. It's not a great film by any means and fans of the more grisly 80s slashers won't like it, but it's very watchable in some inexplicable way to the point where I actually had a lot of fun with it. Technically speaking, you could do a lot worse: The acting is passable, as is the writing. The direction was actually quite good and took advantage of the beautiful location they had, taking plenty of time to give the viewer a look at the wildlife around them. Obviously, there are plenty of negatives: The film is extremely unoriginal, taking no risks whatsoever and essentially only going for a watchably dumb film (which it achieves). The predictability doesn't help much and, even with the weirdo killer, it's extremely obvious to see where it's going. Also, the movie's very tame, showing little and not giving much of what a slasher fan would hope to find. In the end, if one is looking for the next great hidden slasher gem, they won't find it here. . . but, if a good time is all that's wanted and thinking can be put on hold for 90 minutes, I wouldn't totally disregard Memorial Valley Massacre.Obligatory Slasher Elements:Violence/Gore: There's a bit of violence, but the majority of it is very tame and the worst of it is offscreen. There isn't much blood, except for a few scenes with just a few drops.Sex/Nudity: Just a wet t-shirt, a girl in a towel, and some heavy making out. . . nothing to see here, folks.Cool Killer(s): If by 'cool,' it means 'hilarious.' The guy is, seriously, some kind of caveman, dressed in animal skins and fang necklace and all. Weird.Scares/Suspense: Very little. There are some attempts at jump scares, but you can see them coming from a mile away and really don't do much at all.Mystery: There's one 'mystery' of the film, but it's so obvious when it's introduced that it shouldn't even count.Awkward Dance Scene: Dancing in the rain in a thin shirt with no bra? Not awkward, just hot.- -Final verdict: 5/10. Simply for the watchability.-AP3-

gavin6942 A rich landowner and a rugged, alcoholic outdoorsman open up a campground to raise money for surrounding projects (shopping malls and such). But in the maiden weekend of camping, the campers face a bear, nasty storms and a hermit caveman who is none too fond of his peace being ruined.The film has some standard 80s staples: punk kids, a few token blacks (though, unlike many horror films, not killed off right away), a campground (see "Friday the 13th" or "Sleepaway Camp"), metal music, topless girls, etc. If you like 80s horror (and I do) you will find some familiar themes here and that's a good thing, in my opinion. But even a good set-up doesn't always make for the best follow-through.The death scenes are really weak. And the problem with that is, I am not sure if this movie was trying to be a horror film or a comedy. It's not scary enough to really be a true horror film, but not funny enough to be a comedy. What it ends up being is a bland mix of both. The same goes for the caveman: he is in no way threatening, but also not really funny. So what happens? He ends up just being bland and dumb, being more silly than anything. Not to mention the makeup department did a horrible job, and his background story makes no sense. (I won't give it away, but let's just say he comes across a lot more primitive than you'd expect.) Somebody, somewhere loves this film and probably watches it and screens it for friends. I am not that guy. I have no doubt I will some day watch it again, but I can't say it will be soon and I can't imagine why I would unless there was some sort of money or alcohol involved. If you need to see one more 80s film where campers get hacked up, this is your film. Otherwise, just listen to Weird Al's "Nature Trail to Hell"... it's actually less cheesy and more graphic.

Jonny_Numb You know you're in trouble when a movie trots out the toilet paper before the 10-minute mark. A bunch of cranky campers have come out for the grand opening of Memorial Valley, which is plagued by negatory vibes (dead dog in the well); woe be unto the unfortunate souls who decide to stay, because a Beastmaster-type with poor oral hygiene is stalking our resident idiots (horny, mullet-headed teens; drunk program director; his Ivy League apprentice). Many phony-looking deaths ensue, plus a twist that's completely obvious the moment it's 'revealed.' "Memorial Valley Massacre" is an inferior rip on Wes Craven's "The Hills Have Eyes" (which wasn't that great to begin with), with a pulse that alternates between campy humor and stone-cold seriousness (or at least as much as a film like this can convey); as a result of the tonal indecision, it becomes an unintentional hoot, perfect for a MST3K-style skewering ("Space Mutiny" star Cameron Mitchell even has a cameo!).