Phil Hubbs Sounds good doesn't it? I was expecting a black and white masterpiece of the 50's when I first came across this. Alas its actually from the mid 70's which means its in colour and full of dodgy hairstyles and fashion. Still, can't not be intrigued with a title like that huh.So somewhere in rural (always rural) Wisconsin a meteorite crash lands which lights up the sky on impact (literally lights up the sky with some awful colour effects). Now somehow, don't ask me how, but somehow this meteorite contains lots of spiders, all of which look remarkably like spiders here on Earth (don't question it). These spiders seem to vary in size from your regular tarantula size (because they are tarantulas), to dog size, to house size.I'm not too sure how these spiders survived the impact but they do appear to be cocooned within small circular rocks (rocks which also contain diamonds!). So I guess that sorts that (?). But do they spawn in the rocks? Do they use the rocks as shields against the vacuum of space? What do they feed on? Where did they come from? When they emerge on Earth why do they start to grow slowly? Why do they grow to such enormous sizes?The main crux of the movie is of course the spiders, but leading up to that there are various boring subplots surrounding various characters. We are introduced to each individual and shown what type of person they are. Not that that matters much because this was a low-budget affair only intent on showing you spiders eating people. But sure enough, this being the countryside most of the townsfolk are hick types bordering on rednecks. Most of these rather unwashed looking characters are generally either in troubled relationships or simply up to no good such as one character trying to sweet talk an underage female (gulp!).I guess I should point out that a few of the actors in this movie are/were well known stars on American TV shows as well as movies of the time. Director Bill Rebane managed to do what Quentin Tarantino once did which was gather together a bunch of forgotten stars (probably on the cheap) who were happy for the work. Obviously the quality of film and outcome differed slightly.Anyway back to the arachnids (effects). So what are they like, the effects. Well whaddaya think they're gonna be like? Obviously all the effects are pretty much on the cheap and homemade, but with much care and attention. There are plenty of wispy cobwebs hanging about the place and they do use quite a lot of real tarantulas which is quite effective for certain shots. There are also some bigger shock sequences such as a house (room set) being torn apart by the giant spider; and a guy getting mauled by the giant spider in his car which leads to a crash and explosion. I was actually reasonably impressed with the real tarantulas popping out of the ball shaped diamond encrusted space rocks (almost like eggs). Clearly they did put real tarantulas inside these balls and sprung them open to reveal the creepy contents.The larger spiders is where things obviously go down hill somewhat. A large dog sized spider leaps onto one female character at one point which is quite amusing. Its very obvious someone threw this rubber spider at the actress...and its quality stuff. The oversized fangs, wobbly legs, and eyes are especially top quality. But its the giant spider that wreaks havoc on the town that is the big draw. Apparently the effects guys built this thing out of a VW Beetle; simply covering it with black fur, big legs, and using the rear lights as eyes. The crew operated the legs from inside the car. Ingenious if I do say so myself because the bottom half of the spider vehicle is always out of sight, which does actually give the solid illusion of a slow moving giant spider roaming the US countryside. There are quite a few shots showing this thing in the distance and it genuinely does look quite good. Its was also quite gory too. This giant VW spider has big fangs below its (two) big red eyes and doesn't hesitate to slam them into its victims as they are dragged up into its gaping maw. I assume the crew inside are pulling the actor inside the car via the sunroof when the spider eats someone. But this simply action is well edited and accompanied by a good gallon of blood that flows down the victims body. All in all its pretty satisfying to see people getting eaten by this mega arachnid or watch crowds of people flee from it. That and the individually moving legs, overall its a solid effect cleverly thought out.I love how despite everything that occurs you never see any real police, army, or scientific presence. Its like no one outside that town knows whats going on at all and no one thinks to call for any external help. Pretty much all the characters are scummy or too gruff and you don't care about them. Plenty of stock footage, a staple of these cheap crappy movies. Day and night switching between shots in classic Ed Wood style. The movies explanation for the spider invasion is ridiculous, an interdimensional gateway. The solution? A Caltech neutron initiator ('it just might work!'), like yeah...whatever you say bud. Apparently they drop this thing in the meteorite crater and switch it on. This does something that closes the interdimensional gate which in turn causes all the spiders to melt (an admittedly neat little melty effect sequence). Like I said, don't question it.You probably know not to expect too much from a movie like this. A cheap sci-fi B-movie that looks like its been shot on a camcorder. Visually it looks like a shoddy exploitation movie at times. Those 70's styles and especially the violent and panicky street mob sequences. Its a throwback to the corny giant bug movies of the 50's (check that poster), yet they made it to genuinely compete with 'Jaws'! Somehow this went on to make quite a bit of money for Transcentury Pictures and has since become a cult. I can understand why but for me personally I think it would be a lot more enjoyable and effective in black and white (and set in the glorious 50's).'if it doesn't work, then old buddy we've got company for dinner'5.5/10

Mark Turner Let me say up front that this movie is not a cinematic achievement that film historians will be discussing over the next 100 years. No, it is not the CITIZEN KANE of giant critter flicks. What it is though is a lot of fun and thanks to VCI it is now available on blu-ray.Film has changed with each passing decade and the most wonderful thing about movies in the 60s, 70s and into the early 80s was that low budget independent movies could be made and actually be found playing in theaters, mostly drive-ins, across the country. A small group of talented (or not talented) individuals could come together on a relatively small budget and make an actual movie. But times changed with the advent of video and now DVD and those movies rarely show on a big screen and almost always go straight to video if they get made at all. But those gems of the past are now making their way to this new format for movie fans to enjoy.The movie opens with a meteor crashing in the field of farmer Dan (Robert Easton) and his wife Ev (Leslie Parrish). Talk about a dysfunctional family, Dan is a philandering husband hitting the local hooker at night, Ev is an alcoholic and Ev's sister Terry is a teenage tease who's dating local newspaper reporter while taunting Dan. Dan and Ev see the meteor in the sky and decide to check it out the next morning.At the same time local scientist Dr. Jenny Langer (Barbara Hale) has noted some strange readings and contacted NASA who send out Dr. Vance (Steve Brodie) to investigate. Most of their time is spent discussing the scientific questions revolving around the strange readings Langer got as well as those from NASA before they go out to investigate at Dan's ranch.It's not long before we discover that what seemed a meteor was actually a method for an invasion of spiders that start normal size but eventually grow to the size of a small car (a Volkswagen draped in a welded frame and outfitted to look like a giant spider was used). In addition to plenty of webbing walked through we get the giant spider eating any and all it comes in contact with while both doctors try and find a way to get rid of the pesky critter.While this may not qualify as a classic such as THEM it does have a certain amount of charm to it. Those who would make note of the bad acting here are missing the point. This is not an award winning film and never intended to be. Instead it was a low budget horror film that was intended to open doors and be a part of a resume. The fact that it made so much money on such a miniscule budget (by Hollywood standards) shows that there was a definite market for movies like this at the time. As noted in the extras even Johnny Carson mentioned the film on his show due to the amount of money it made.VCI has dusted off the movie to offer the cleanest presentation available for fans of both the film and of low budget horror flicks. If you fall into those categories you won't be disappointed. Not only do you get the best reproduction of the film there are plenty of extras as well. Included are a new documentary on the film by Daniel Griffith, a super-8 version of the film transferred to HD, a behind the scenes gallery if photos, the original trailer and TV spots, interviews with members of the cast and crew, a newsreel, an 18 track recording of the upcoming stage musical based on the film and more. VCI have gone out of their way to satisfy the fans of the film.This is the sort of movie that you put on after popping a bowl of popcorn, grabbing your favorite beverage of choice and plopping your feet up in the recliner to sit back and have a laugh with. It won't alter your life or ask you to join some misguided organization that wants to save spiders. What it could possibly do is have you consider buying a home theater projector to sit up on the back porch come summer so you can watch movies like this they was they were intended, under a starry night listening through a tinny speaker and having a blast. One last note is the appearance of Alan Hale, the Captain of GILLIGAN'S ISLAND, playing the town sheriff in what amounts to a cameo role. Just another great reason to pick up this movie.

Scott LeBrun Bill Rebane is in the directors' chair for this endearingly tacky 1970s continuation of 1950s monster movie themes. It's the kind of thing that you simply have to see for yourself. It may not be "Them!" or even "Tarantula", but its sincerity combined with its utter schlockiness makes it pretty hard to resist. The special effects (yes, this viewer knew going in that the titular creature was "played" by a car) are just as wonderfully absurd as a person could want. Most of the actors put on their best poker faces, which only makes the silliness of the proceedings that much more enjoyable.Somehow or other, a black hole has opened up a path, on Earth, to another dimension, and from it emerge geodes that give birth to tarantulas, as well as one enormous mother of a super tarantula that rampages to the best of its ability. Among those trying to figure out the cause of the creatures' existence, and the means of destroying it, are scientists J.R. Vance (Steve Brodie) and Jenny Langer (Barbara Hale).It's the lack of quality filmmaking in rural productions like this (it's set and filmed in Wisconsin) that makes them quality entertainment. "The Giant Spider Invasion" does not disappoint, and lives up to its reputation. What's even more amazing is that veterans such as Brodie and Hale roped their families into participating: Brodies' son Kevin plays young newspaperman Dave Perkins, and Hales' husband Bill Williams plays the barman Dutch. Character actor and dialect coach Robert Easton, who wrote the dopey script with producer Richard L. Huff, co-stars as thick headed farmer Dan Kester. Alan Hale Jr. portrays our obligatory lawman character, and he offers the most blatantly comedic performance out of anyone here, jovially hamming it up at every turn. "The Skipper" references his most famous role and even breaks the fourth wall. Diane Lee Hart ("Cannonball"), Leslie Parrish ("Crash!"), and Christiane Schmidtmer ("The Big Doll House") also appear.This one is a good deal of fun, and it's not surprising to read that Stephen King is a fan.Five out of 10.

Zeegrade Not enough credit, or perhaps discredit, is alloted to Bill Rebane as a director on level with Ed Wood and quite frankly it's wrong. His movies have that feeling of incredulity and confusion along with community college level acting that seems to endear as many viewers as are repulsed by seeing them. Don't interpret this the wrong way, his films are still awful on a scale not frequently seen, they just have that little something extra that sort of makes you smile after the fact. Kind of like when your five year old swears. You're angry that he/she did it but afterwords you chuckle to yourself. When no one is around of course. A meteor is seen crashing into the Wisconsin countryside by NASA as they send Dr. Vance to investigate. Once there he teams up with Dr. Jenny Langer, after he carpet bombs her with sexist stereotypes, and they discover that the geodes are filled with icky spiders. Vance and Langer go up the hill and both go tumbling down. Vaaaaaaaaance! Meanwhile white trash Kester is cheating on his alcoholic wife Ev with a woman who I must assume is blind. With his long underwear and back brace Kester is definitely doing his part to bring sexy back. Alan Hale Jr. pays his sizable buffet tab by playing the useless town sheriff who looks more comfortable scarfing down a stack of pancakes at the local Perkins than serving and protecting. Eventually the giant spider makes his way to Gleason just in time to ruin the softball tournament. Whatta jerk! I've made many a trip to cheeseland a let me tell you that the population there is pretty hokey with all of its fake Indian trinkets and goofy "hay dere" dialect but Giant Spider Invasion portrays Wisconsonians as southern gutter trash. Kester and Ev are especially guilty of this as they are more apt for some trailer park in Alabama. I had a chance to watch the full length movie after seeing this on Mystery Science Theatre and was a little sickened by two scenes involving Terry played by Diane Lee Hart. Now mind you she is playing a seventeen year old girl when she is being sized up by Kester and then caught topless by his cousin that eerily resembles Charles Manson. How this got a PG rating is mystifying to me. The movie redeems itself however when Dr. Vance pulverizes Dr. Langer as they tumble down the hill. At one point he rolls over her head. May the giant spider's soul rest with the spirit of Tommy Bartlett.