org1andrew I couldn't stop laughing for most of this movie. Each time I started to settle down, a new joke or song or something would come about and kill me again and again. I'm straight and have barely seen any queer cinema, and this is so far out there I don't even know what to think. Brilliant.The boner in the shower song was my favourite part, makes me want to try out a gay bath house.And the super square and straight clueless scientist is an almost perfect resemblance to all straight people I know, including myself.Creative genius!!!!!!

F Gwynplaine MacIntyre 'Zero Patience' is a low-budget musical about the Aids crisis that actually treats the subject intelligently yet manages to be fun, light-hearted and optimistic. The film is targeted for an audience of gay males (or, at least, people who enjoy watching male nudity) but I liked it anyway.The title is a wordplay on Patient Zero -- the gay man who allegedly brought Aids to North America -- and the fact that people hoping for an Aids cure are tired of waiting: they've got zero patience. Near the climax of the film, Sir Richard Burton performs the title song with his friends: "What's the time?" "Zero Hour." "How much patience?" "None." Earlier, another song (performed by the titular patient) has a chorus in French that translates as "I know, I know, I know that I don't know." This Richard Burton is not the Welsh actor but rather the 19th-century explorer and linguist, who (according to this movie) stumbled into the Fountain of Youth and is still alive. (Played by an actor who looks nothing like the historic Sir Richard Burton.) I expected this movie's dialogue to mention that the real Sir Richard had himself circumcised in adulthood so that he could pass for an Arab in order to visit Mecca.I never fault any movie for having a low budget, but I do get annoyed when low-budget filmmakers try to tell a story that really requires higher production values. In 'Zero Patience', one musical number is performed aboard an airliner in flight: but there are only four passengers and one stewardess (Dianne Heatherington), so the nearly-empty cabin -- a set that would have impressed me in its own right -- looks ridiculous. Ironically, if they'd filled the set with more actors, they could have got away with a cheaper set.Similarly, at this film's climax, Burton and his friends attempt a civil disobedience ... but the action really cries for a crowd of rebels, not the handful shown here.I was also annoyed that this movie is so deeply in Political Correctness territory. We're not supposed to use the phrase 'Aids cases' because it's demeaning. We can't say 'Aids victims' or 'Aids patients' because that's judgmental. For a while, the accepted phrase was 'people with Aids' (PWA) but even that became taboo. Now we're required to say 'persons living with Aids', abbreviated as PLWA. During the airliner sequence, Heatherington identifies her employer as 'PLWA Airlines'. If she had said 'PWA Airlines', this would have been a clever and funny pun on TWA, a real airline. But she had to weaken the pun for the sake of political correctness, changing it to PLWA. This is the same sort of stupidity that makes me look a racist if I say 'coloured people' but I get credit for being enlightened if I say 'people of colour'.The cast of 'Zero Patience' -- some of them quite talented, others less so -- seem a bit too impressed with their own alleged audacity. Still, it took some guts to tackle this particular subject in this particular way. My rating: 4 out of 10, and here's hoping that 'Zero Patience' will become a period piece when Aids is curable.

james-hunter-stewart One of those totally surprising contributions that remind us that there are still film-makers with talent and originality out there. This Canadian film is hard to classify - it's costume drama, romance, Broadway musical, ghost story, mocumentary, educational film, puppet show, and political soap-box all at the same time. It tells the story of the noted Victorian sexologist Richard Francis Burton (still alive after an unfortunate encounter with the fountain of youth) and Patient Zero, the man who, according to the media beat-up, brought AIDS to North America. After three years dead, Zero returns (not quite to life) to clear his name, but the only person who can see him is Burton, who wants to use his story as the centre-piece of his banal 'Hall of Contagion' exhibition.Nineteenth century attitudes collide with twentieth century morality. Things get really sticky when the local AIDS activists weigh into the argument ...Gorgeous original score, singing bottoms, dancing (stuffed) animals, talking viruses, synchronised swimming, a chorus of naked men, taxidermy! - there's something in this film for everyone.Funny, bizarre, devastatingly sad - this three-tune-musical-on-film has got everything, though not everyone will cope with the grown-up content and highly theatrical treatment.Exotic fruit indeed: witty, subtle, and not-so-subtle, with lots to think about - well worth seeing, and not only as a rare example of how to make a musical work on film.

W'wardHo You do NOT have to watch this film more than once to appreciate it (although it gets better every time)! The genius of Greyson is not just an acquired taste. "Zero Patience" is witty, rich, profound, and hilarious the first time you see it.