John Johns
The cleavage and hard bodies are spectacular and promising but the promise of a bikini contest never materializes and there are no women being natural and flaunting their bodies and no sex. It is almost like a Taliban/Republican ski resort. Otherwise, the story is a joke, the 'so-called' sharks look like rubber duckies and just when someone yells 'movement alerts them, they all... move! Opposite of Simon Says!!! I did enjoy that the sheriff leaves all his guns and machine guns (!!!) hanging out available on the wall and that the 'Japanese' woman cannot even pronounce the simplest of Japanese words anywhere near a Japanese person... Guys, just give us the T&A and we will watch and enjoy... what is all this other stuff? Hoorah for thin, flaunting women who spread it.
Tom McGinn
When I first heard of the film I had much doubt, I was thinking a shark that swims through the snow is an awful idea. After I watched the film I was definitely wrong. This film is even better than the original jaws films. The suspense is surreal and the acting is outstanding that I am surprised such a film has not won numerous Oscars so far. People who give this bad reviews point out the tiny obsolete flaws that they can find. When I watch this I ignore those minor flaws and focus on the great camera angles and shots, the brilliant acting, the fantastic story. This is one of my all-time favourite films and I highly recommend it to anyone.
juneebuggy
A remote ski resort is terrorized by prehistoric man eating sharks after an avalanche. Yes really! I'm been trying to figure out what makes a good bad movie (Sharknado) vs. a bad, bad movie (Avalanche Sharks)? I mean they're both B movies you watch for a laugh in a so-bad-its-good kinda way. They're also both about equal in terms of acting, direction, plot and special effects. Yet somehow Sharknado was fun to watch whereas Avalanche Sharks was just unwatchable.In the end I made it through about half of this, I mean I had to see a few attacks, but the CGI is poorly (cheaply) done and while this is just a crappy B movie I still wanted a bit of an explanation as to how/why there were sharks living in the snow -they apparently came from space.I still had fun guessing who gets eaten first and how; the babes getting it in the hot tub, the dude with the snow blower or the girls running from the advancing fin cruising through the snow.After the initial curiosity wears off though there's not much left. 01.02.14
By-TorX-1
What is there to really say about Avalanche Sharks? The premise is ridiculous and so, duly, is the execution. There is a mountain and there are ghost sharks (possibly, not quite sure about the precise ontology of the sharks), and there are numerous victims of said spectral fish. At the most obvious level the film is entertaining as a cheap and poorly-conceived cash-in on the 'where-is-the-most-unlikely-place-a-shark-can-strike-from' low budget mania that has emerged of late, and on that premise it is worth a watch. However, the film has no real logic and is ultimately really random in its approach. For instance, the film opens with three distinctive characters, but then pretty much forgets about them, and the climax is perhaps the most random solution I've ever seen (also involving a very random character). And what of the characters? Well, you get a marine biologist who never utters anything remotely biological (and sharks on a mountain really should pique at least some professional interest, regardless of the tragic back-story), the usual unscrupulous mayor/businessman who won't close the mountain, a ranting 'You're all doomed!" old mountain man, and a hilarious 'marine' who keeps telling people that he is a marine (but who displays very little military prowess). Oh, and one of the best performances I have seen in a film of this type: a man who, as a result of seeing his girlfriend eaten by the sharks, has a religious epiphany and renounces drugs in favour of universal love (I'll leave it to you to see how that pans out). However, the CGI is actually not too bad at all and nobody is taking the proceedings very seriously (except the marine character, boy, he takes things seriously). All in all, then, the bar is set low, but with a title like Avalanche Sharks, what do you expect?
AD
