Michael_Elliott Mark of the Astro-Zombies (2002) * (out of 4) There's nothing like waiting thirty-four years to bring a sequel along. I guess you could almost call this a remake but since there's several mentions to the events and characters of the first film it would also be safe to call it a straight sequel. This time out another scientist has released the astro-zombies (and their machetes) to kill as many humans as they possibly can. I'm sure there was some more story at some point but that's pretty much all I got. So, was the three decade wait worth it? I would say yes. This film has a very small budget and it's clear that Mikels pretty much gathered up some friends to shoot this but it's that cheapness that actually makes the film worth viewing. Yes, the acting, special effects and everything else are bad but you have to give the director credit for being out there all these years and still trying to deliver drive-in trash even though that entire genre has been replaced by the current wave of torture porn. While watching this thing I couldn't help but get hit by some mild nostalgia because you really do feel as if you're watching something from the 60s but of course with a face lift. This film contains a lot more gore, which is actually a good thing because the kills here are extremely funny. None of them look real but I got a real kick out of seeing dozens of these astro-zombies running around, waiving their machetes in the air as they stalk and kill people in the streets. Most of the deaths come from the machetes being struck through people's throats and it's clear that a majority of the budget went to the blood effects. It's these scenes here that seem ripped right out of those drive-in flicks of the 70s and it's these scenes that will probably leave a smile on most faces. Brinke Stevens and Liz Renay appear here with countless others including the director himself. We also get John Carradine in the form of a pretty fake looking head, which again adds some mild camp value. At 80-minutes the thing still runs a bit too long but at the same time it has a much better pacing than the original film, although it's a shame they couldn't get the original masks for the creatures here. Fans of "Z" grade cinema or fans of the original film will want to check this one out but others should stay clear.

funkyfry If this film didn't have some kind of self-conscious humor to it, it would be pretty much worthless. The production values are equivalent to MILF-hunter or a school bus safety video. But there is no exploitation really (not even on a level with the bus video). The only thing that really gave me a laugh was when the zombies were on the loose in the mall. It was nice to see Satana up there on the big screen again after all these years (but then again, I wasn't around for the first time, so why not just rent another classic Satana flick and leave this one behind?). I have the feeling this one kept everyone busy, but not much else.

Michael A. Martinez This movie is literally all over the place. Aliens decide to invade earth by employing astro-zombies which run around on a rampage, unconvincingly hacking and slashing people just sitting around, basically waiting to get killed. A woman reporter (Brinke Stevens) is on the scene, as well as her boyfriend who works for the CIA (and looks about half her age), an FBI agent, plus there's some crazy 70+ Joan Collins-looking woman who insists on showing marks on her breast (Aaaak!) whenever she claims she was abducted by aliens, then there's some George Carlin-lookalike doctor who teams up with a psychic or something, plus Tura Satana (from the first Astro-Zombies movie) and her dimwit henchman who looks like Vincent D'Onofrio from MEN IN BLACK who hope to cash in on the invasion. On top of this, there's plenty of random scenes of government officials sitting around a table saying vaguely important things, plus some "doctors" chillin' in an E.R., and John Carradine's head kept alive in a lab.With so many characters and so much stuff going on, this movie is totally out of control! If I had any clue as to what was going on, I might have enjoyed it in other ways, but as it is this movie is purely for laughs. Mikels certainly has improved his style since the 60's in that his newer films are much more briskly-paced, more entertaining, and action-packed (he has a funny cameo which cleverly incorporates his earlier cameos). The special effects (including some pretty decent CGI) range from laughably terrible to surprisingly good. The acting, on the other hand, is all-round abysmal with the sole exception of the only real actor in the movie, Brinke Stevens (who looks quite good in that short skirt of hers).The problem with the movie though is that it takes itself too seriously when it's obvious it benefitted the most from the unintentional comedy. The scenes of zombies running around various industrial areas and hacking people are totally hilarious indeed, but sandwiched between too many random scenes of talking heads. The film then seems to randomly cut back and forth between the many subplots, and the same zombie keeps waking up in the alien spaceship a total of about five times. Even sillier is how so much of the actors' screaming is obviously ADR, so much clearer than the regular dialog, which is often either muffled or rendered inaudible due to the constant loud music. Only the scenes involving Satana seem to be intentionally funny. I don't know how to sum this one down - it felt like I sat through 8 movies at once; bewildering, confusing, laughable, yet somehow very entertaining. It has a great beginning, ending, and some scenes in the middle, which is the best one can really expect for a movie obviously shot with no money but a lot of enthusiasm.Much better than the first film, which was 88 minutes of characters standing around explaining to each other how the Astro-Zombies work, and 2 minutes of killin'. This one's more like 20 minutes of killing, 20 minutes of aliens, and 30 minutes of characters talking to each other and looking confused, then 15 minutes of cars driving around and various other random stuff.Too bad MST3K missed out on this one - it's ten times funnier by itself than most of their better episodes.

moonbasealpha1 I just got my copy of Mark of the Astro Zombies and loved it! Great Stars Tura Satana (great to see her in this sequel) Brinke Stevens (Queen of the Scream Queens!)Liz Renay (in a most humorous role)and Shanti (a welcome bad ass Ted staple).And new break out star performances by Sean Morelli (Corpse Grinders 2),Anton Funtek (Evil Zekith)and a hats off to Scott Blacksher as Zokar in a show stealing performance.And a wink to Nina Tepes for a revealing shower scene and Kimberly Lynn Cole Yowza!Great Digital effects by Master FX and Splatter Master David White.Great Monsters By Jay Gowey (FANTASTIC Dr.Demarco(John Carradine) head for his beyond grave cameo with Tura and Ted V.Mikels) and recreating the Astro Men and for the Evil Zekith.This movies story of good vs evil in a fight over Earth is refreshing and brings up current things like remote viewing,Alien abductions and possible inhabited asteroids and shocking gore for splatter fans.Ted V.Mikels has done it again like he has so many other times and remains one of our Indie treasures!If you havent seen any of Ted V.Mikels movies I suggest you do.Pull up some pop corn and put on your seat belt for one heck of a fun ride!