zardoz-13 he problem with movies like the Umberto Lenzi film "Iron Master" is that Lenzi and company have to observe certain rituals about making film palatable to audiences. In other words, although this outdoor adventure film is set during the early days of man, nobody is bald and the women far too gorgeous. Obviously, everybody had to don a wig and they look slightly ridiculous running around in them. The women have to wear lipstick and rouge and they look more like models on holiday than the hard-working dames of the past. Indeed, most women in early tribal villages did not conceal their breasts, but for the purpose of modesty the dames here but cover up their racks. Despite this problem and an awful looking fake lion head that the villainous George Eastman wears, "Iron Master" isn't as egregious as you might imagine for a low-budget Italian exploitation epic.First, director Umberto Lenzi, who has made some genuine skull crushers as "Make Them Die Slowly" and "Cannibal Ferox," keeps the action simple, straightforward and serious. No, "Iron Master" is no tits and ass camp. The dialogue is far too sophisticated, but otherwise it would be laughable. The performances are acceptable and nobody looks that goofy. The theme that weaponry can set mankind free as well as imprison them is good stuff. The chief villain Vood (George Eastman of "Ben and Charlie") wants to be the leader of the tribe, but the leader rebuffs him. During a raid on a village, Vood attacks and kills the chieftain. The villagers believe that Vood is too treacherous to remain among them so they expel him from of the village. Everybody freaks out when a nearby volcano erupts and Vuud is around when a chunk of steel is vomited out of the mountain in the shape of a sword. Okay, it is terribly convenient, but it does not slow down the plot. Vood uses this iron stick as a weapon and takes control of the village and attacks Ela (Sam Pasco, a stud muffin with more quivering six-pack muscles than you can count) with his new weapon. Ela manages to get away but he has an ugly looking wound in his side. He runs into a beautiful babe and she nurses him back to health and takes him to her village where there are no weapons.Meanwhile, Vood and his men make and equip themselves with iron swords from the volcano and decimate the local infestation of man-sized chimps. Think 2001 because the primates resemble those from the Kubrick film. Eventually, Vood and his men decide to rule the world and they attack one village after another until Vood learns that Ela is in one village. Ela has a treat in store for his sworn enemy. It is a weapon that makes his army the equal of Vood's sword wielding horde. The ending looks like something out of an Italian film of the era. Okay, it is corny at points, but you have to compel yourself to over look some stuff so that you can get something out of it. The most extraordinary thing about this French and Italian co-production is that they lensed some of the story on location at the Custer Park and those buffalo are the genuine thing.

HaemovoreRex This was directed by prolific Italian filmmaker Umberto Lenzi who boasts numerous directorial credits in a wide array of film genres including a number of (in)famous horror outings and some very gritty crime dramas.Fans of Italian B-movies will instantly delight in seeing big George Eastman in the role of the main villain (as he is very often type cast) who, inadvertently brings about the inception of the Iron Age(!)Scouring the internet, I have found nothing but disdain and vituperation for this film with some reviewers even going so far as to apply the ignominious label of 'The worst movie ever made' upon it. Whilst the film is admittedly certainly no masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, it is in fact not nearly as bad as it's sullied reputation would have us believe.What we have here in effect is a sort of semi-documentary detailing the sudden great psychological and sociological evolution of early human kind as precipitated by the discovery of more puissant weaponry.OK, so it is somewhat base in it's linear execution, logic is not a trait it is particularly rich in, the acting is not exactly Oscar material and the special effects are shall we say, severely wanting, but despite this, the film is actually rather intriguing.The ending especially, is surprisingly rather poignant for this genre and is quite refreshing.Special mention must also be made of the title score for the film, which is one of those tunes you'll find yourself humming for days!!!Overall then, whilst woefully inaccurate in its historical context, this film is nonetheless rather fascinating in its inimitable depiction of a bygone people and their turbulent way of life.

James-Durham This movie is a stirring epic set amongst the backdrop of the transitional period between the advent of the cro-magnons and the extinction of the neanderthals. The polar opposition between the two races is clearly shown, especially when the neanderthals attack by simply throwing rocks and the cro-magnons finish them off with their newly invented lightsabres.Cro magnons were the intelligent ones rememberYou see this movie is so rivetting simply because it sucked so muchThat Ela guy is beefed up on some anabolic substance and when Eastman finds a large chunk of iron (what was he doing at the volcano anyway?) and with that piece, they invent a way to melt it, cast it, then fashion it into broadswords, which they then use to hack and slash their way through every tribe for no reason A vey bad movie

Ivan Ravenous I originally bought this movie, having never seen it, strictly for laughs. But I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it's really and engaging movie. Now, it does have its dumb parts, but for the most part I was riveted. The story is simplistic, but this isn't trying to be anything incredible. Once again a film is made which most people just can't appreciate.Also, I love the weird naked monkey guys.